PROFIT, yulia fae

[style=font-family: helvetica; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 6px; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center;]SASS

LOCAL

[style=background-color: #65727A; border: 10px solid #65727A; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 10px; color: white; text-align: center;]all about me

[style=font-family: Open Sans Condensed; text-transform: none; font-size: 40px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 10px; border-right: 3px solid #65727A; border-left: 3px solid #65727A; border-top: 3px solid #65727A; border-bottom: 3px solid #65727A; color: #000000; padding: 8px; letter-spacing: 1px;]10 things that happened

10) age 2, gets taken to the ER because she fell from where she was on the couch with her dad and hit her head.
( her father got sick of her crying and tried to get her to shut up by covering her mouth. her mother pushed at him to get him to stop and he dropped her. )

9) age 4, gets taken to the ER because she tripped and fell down the stairs when her mother wasn't looking.
( she was pushed by her father because he wanted to get past and she was in the way, she hadn't heard him coming. )

8) age 6, the family moves into a new town in Vermont because people were getting suspicious at the hospital.
( a doctor started asking her mother questions when she was brought in for yet another "fall" and her dad got mad. she got one small meal every 3 days while they house-hunted and moved then for a month after moving to the new place to make up the "lost money" for having to move since her father felt it was her fault. )

7) age 8, she broke her arm trying to climb a tree in the back yard. was taken to the ER for it.
( her father snapped her arm like a twig because she was making too much noise when having a nightmare. she had whimpered as he passed the door. )

6) age 10, her mother is found dead, police suspect a "mugging" because of how badly she was beaten and she was found on the sidewalk with her things "stolen".
( her mother tried to take lia and run away with her on a night where her father was working late. he came home early and caught them. he beat her mother to death then ditched the body and acted horrified that his wife was mugged/murdered while out to get groceries. )

5) age 12, she's taken to the ER for "rape" committed by a teacher at her school. the teacher is fired immediately and charged with rape. they move again this time to Florida.
( her father was called into the school for a parent/teacher conference the night before to discuss bruises and her quiet nature. there were concerns. that night she was "punished" for raising suspicion and her father makes her blame the teacher. he claimed he didn't want his little girl living with those horrible memories and moved them down to florida. he just didn't want more questions being asked. )

4) age 14, she passes out in gym class and is taken to the hospital. she tells the doctors she has an eating disorder where she just can't eat.
( she had started her period and her father didn't like that she wasn't as "willing" as normal so he'd stopped feeding her or letting her eat at all for the time being. she knew telling anyone that would get her killed like he'd killed her mother so her "eating disorder" was a cover-up that made her dad happy. )

3) age 16, the police show up on their doorstep and take her father into custody. she is sent to live in a foster home.
( the police had been gathering evidence on her father since the first time they'd been involved in their lives. when they moved the police from the other area had sent along word and their information and finally they had enough evidence because of the people who moved into their old home "finding" her mother's purse and things in the attic since her father had forgotten about them. she moves in with a foster family who are nice to her. )

2) age 18, she moves away from the foster family and to somewhere with no memories. myrtle beach.
( needing to be somewhere that she's not known as "that girl who was abused by her father" or "the girl who's father was arrested" she decided to move away from the nice foster family that had taken her in. she liked being alone anyway so she hoped it would be better this way. they had shown her she could heal the wounds of her past and that's what she wanted to do. )

1) age 20, she gets a job as a florist and things finally start to seem alright in her life.
( she had tried deciding what to do for a job and worked as a waitress for quite awhile so she could learn to be a florist and get a job. finally getting the job she spends her days making beautiful flower arrangements and nights hoping to sleep through the night without being woken by a nightmare. those nights are rare but they're not totally unheard of like they'd been so she finally feels like she's really healing. )

9 descriptive words

9) Timid/Shy - - she is not one of those girls who will go out of her way to meet you and say hi. she's very shy and doesn't even like shaking hands with people. her father did tell her that other people would hurt her in worse ways than he ever did and it was partial brainwashing that she's trying to reverse but that makes her unable to be the first to make a move with strangers.

8) Scared - - she's terrified of her father ever getting out of jail and coming for her, she's terrified of being hurt by someone new in her life, she's terrified of her own shadows and the dark...the girl is just scared of everything and trying so hard to stand brave while knowing she's failing. her fears sometimes swallow her whole while other times she can fight them back to face the day. mostly they're worse at night when she's sleeping because they attack her in nightmares.

7) Healing - - despite everything she's working hard to become someone new and to leave her past behind. she is starting to heal even though it's slow-going and hard for her sometimes. she wants to be at least a little normal and to do that she knows she needs to let herself heal so she's working on it.

6) Sweet - - even with all the horrible things in her past she's still a good person and sweet is one of the words commonly used for her because she's caring and kind to people in her quiet way. she's not showy about anything she does for someone, she's very quiet and modest in her actions and words and that to some people makes her seem like a sweet girl.

5) Gentle - - she's not one to fight or cause harm to other people intentionally. yes accidents happen but if she hurts someone on accident you can bet your ass she's going to regret doing that and she's going to be really upset about it if she finds out she did. she's not harsh or mean because she knows how much it can hurt so she handles most situations as gently as possbile.

4) Haunted - - sometimes you will see her looking around or over her shoulder, yes she knows her father's in jail but that doesn't stop her mind from playing tricks and making her think she see's him in a crowd or something. she's haunted by her past both while awake and while asleep. her nightmares wake her up screaming and crying commonly and she is always tense on days where she has a "bad feeling" her dad may appear out of nowhere to hurt her again.

3) Loving - - even with all the bad in her life she knows how to love, her mother when alive tried to show her what love was, she showed it most of all by trying to protect her from her father even if it never worked. she can be loving and caring toward people if they can get her to let them get close enough. it takes time but she can get there and while she doesn't look for sexual relationships with anyone she does want ones with love and caring in them.

2) Loyal - - once you earn her trust and she feels she can relax around you then she's not going to ever turn her back on you. she's loyal to those who earn her loyalty and that means she'll be there for them. she might not be able to do much for them but she'll try because that's just how she is. she wants to help and protect just doesn't know how to because it's not something she has a lot of experience with.

1) Honest - - lies are something she told for a lot of her life to cover for her father's abuse and to avoid him hurting her more or killing her. she hates lying and hates being lied to which is why she is a very honest woman now that she is free to be herself and live how she wants. she is very hurt when people lie to her and she doesn't let herself lie even if it would make things better because she knows it's wrong.

8 of her favorite things

8) her old foster family
7) being a florist
6) music & books
5) looking sexy even if she doesn't like sex
4) seeing happy people
3) being free of her father
2) love / romance
1) nights without nightmares

7 things she hates

7) seeing anyone hurt
6) pain
5) nightmares
4) the dark
3) being grabbed/touched
2) lies
1) her father

6 random words

6) grapes - her favorite food
5) sky-blue - her favorite color
4) orchid - her favorite flower
3) french - a language she wants to learn
2) blood - it brings back bad memories
1) clothes - she likes shopping surprisingly

5 people in her life

5) her father - is in jail where he deserves to be though he's still haunting her and hurting her in her own mind.

4) her boss - a nice man who's teaching her to make beautiful flower arrangements.

3) her foster family - the nichols and they were very nice to her and helped her. she still talks to them sometimes.

2) officer clemens - the man who "saved" her. he calls sometimes to see how she's doing and she respects him.

1) her mother - the woman who tried to save her and failed. she remembers her and wishes she were still alive.

4 items from her purse

4) safety whistle - officer clemens gave it to her with the instructions "if you're ever in need of help blow this whistle and someone will hear and that will make them come to see what is happening. you'll get help."

3) cellphone - she keeps in touch with her foster family, officer clemens, her boss, and friends so it's always with her.

2) chapstick - she's not big on lipstick but she loves chapstick because it stops her lips from getting dry and sore.

1) drivers license - she was very proud of herself for getting this when with her foster family so she keeps it up to date even if she doesn't have a car.

3 songs she likes

3) broken wing - martina mcbride
2) new soul - yael naim
1) pocketful of sunshine - natasha bedingfield

2 dreams for the future

2) to be "normal" and happy, she wants to get past the horrors of her past and just live.

1) for her father to stay in jail forever where he can't hurt her ever again.

1 secret never told

1) she called and told the family that her mother's things could be found in the attic and to take them to the police. she knew her father had hidden them there and that they were left behind. she had stopped at a payphone and made the call one day after school because she'd reached the point the night before where she considered suicide and that scared her. she made the call and hoped they'd actually listen. they did.