DATSIK, danielle anja

[style=font-family: helvetica; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 6px; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center;]SASS

TOURIST

[style=background-color: #5a667e; border: 10px solid #5a667e; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 10px; color: white; text-align: center;]all about me

Alright let’s do this before the baby wakes up because when he does you’re getting the hell out of here clear? Good. Okay I’m Danielle Anja Datsik but the people I like and allow to use nicknames call me Dani or Elle. I was born on February nineteenth in nineteen ninety one so if you do your math you’ll find out that makes me twenty one years old. I’m a musician, mother, and I’m looking for a job around here because I need something more than saved up money to live off of because that won’t last forever. I used to play with a band called Inner City Rejects as lead guitarist but that fell through. I’ll explain in a minute about that since you wanted to start with the basic’s I’m assuming. What else…I only do guys, girls are hot too and maybe I’ll do a threesome with another chick and a guy but I’m not looking to date a woman. I just moved into the area and honestly I’m not sure how long I’m going to be here for. I have my reasons for the move but a solid plan for after those reasons? Well it’s a little lacking so call me a working/living tourist if you want.

My past isn’t some stupid sob story where mom and dad treated me like dirt and I grew up malnourished or bruised. I just wasn’t the world’s best daughter and hell I’m still not if my parents trying to ‘get through to me’ still is any indication. I liked getting into trouble and it became a “life goal” I think I did a damned good job living up to when I was younger. I was smoking by fourteen which is how I met Nikolai, back behind the school he bummed a smoke and there was something about him that hooked me and held tight even then. He had a band and I loved playing guitar so I was quick to jump in on that action and the chance to be part of a group. My parents were never rich or anything so I didn’t get every last thing I wanted but I did get musical lessons and guitar was what I’d picked. Learned the basics and then kinda taught myself my own style when the lessons got boring to me. I put those skills to use in the band and can honestly say that was a good time in my life whenever we were playing.

By sixteen I’d slipped into the drug thing, doing them and sharing the love with my friends and stuff. I got Nik into it all; starting with pot and working out way through pretty much every drug you can think of we were a party couple and our flat was party central when we weren’t fighting. We were a bit 50/50 in the sense that either we were the cutest most perfect couple ever or the worst most argumentative couple ever. Our relationship wasn’t what most would consider to be “healthy” but we were never worried with what others thought really. We’d do things like scream at the top of our lungs at each other, smack each other around in the sense that if he hit me I hit back or sometimes I’d be the one to hit first, we’d throw hate back and forth before tumbling into bed for a little lovin between the sheets. That was somewhere we always got along and a “good” outlet for the passion that led to us fighting so much I suppose.

Something you have to understand about me? I’m hard. Like the tough kind of woman who doesn’t back down and doesn’t take shit. I tell it like it is and if you don’t like hearing it then that’s just too damned bad for you because I’m not going to sugar-coat myself for you. I care a lot, my feelings? They run deep and shit hits me harder than you’d think and while I’m hard that doesn’t mean I don’t care or love or get hurt. You just don’t see it because I’m too tough. I can be the sweetest person in the world if you get to know me, I soften up a bit for the people I care about because they’re important to me. To strangers I may come across as a bitch. Life kinda taught me to be this way or at least it did the way I chose to live. I'm a bit spontaneous or impulsive you could say since sometimes once i get a thought in my head I act first thing later...or just never think. It's something that isn't easy to control but i'm kinda trying now that it's not just me i have to think about.

Some people might think I’m two faced and sure why the hell not. Around the people I care about like I said I get softer and sweeter and more like a “girl” I guess you could say. I’m a nice person. To strangers…well I guess it depends on the day’s mood? I can be bitchy, make no mistakes I am a bitch at times. I can pull my head out of my own ass and be nice too though. Like I said it depends on mood. To my son? I’m always loving and gentle and caring because he’s precious and I love him very much. He’s become my world in the short time I’ve had him and that won’t ever change. Do I want him to make better choices than I made growing up? Yeah sure but I’m not going to push him to be someone he’s not ever, I’ll let him grow up his way and try to guide him in the right direction and maybe he’ll even have a father too look up to as well…time will tell on that part.

So back to the whole Nicky thing and the growing up we did. He asked me to marry him, he was an idiot I was an idiot but we were idiots together and it worked for us. We might not have been perfect but we had something that was more than what people saw in us. I wanted to marry him and be happy with being us. Have kids and make a lfie some day even. But see we slipped up a bit, I will never call my son a mistake but other’s would call the situation he came about in a mistake. We didn’t plan on getting pregnant but it happened and it freaked me out okay? I was doing my own little freak out and it was making my moods go all over the damned place especially with Nik. We were engaged for a year before it got there though so he probably didn’t even have a clue what was going on…and I never clarified it for him either.

He moved out here to Myrtle Beach and I stayed right where I was trying to figure out what to do, what was right for the baby. I couldn’t imagine killing him before he got a chance and I came to realize I didn’t like the thought of giving him up to someone else either. When you make a kid with someone you love? It means something whether you planned it or not. I thought at first I wouldn’t tell Nik ever, just let him go on and live his life his own way and whatever but the more I thought about it after having him the more I realized Nik needed to know, to have the chance to know his son if he wanted to. So I made the choice and put my savings to use bringing us here to Myrtle Beach as well. Now I just have to hope it doesn’t blow up in my fool face right?

Finding Nik and telling him is a top priority but I’m also maybe hoping I can sort myself out a bit more. I quit the bad stuff when I found out I was pregnant, no way was I risking a baby getting hurt by my own poor choices. So you could say I’m clean now except I’m back to smoking and sometimes if Alexi Nikolaich is with someone I trust and is safe I might enjoy a drink or be tempted to do something else. I’m trying to stay clean for him but the smoking I figure parents everywhere do and it’s fine. It’s not like I smoke in his face I’m normally leaning half out a fucking window or standing outside no matter the weather to give in to that vice so he’s not as exposed to it. I want to make a good life for him since I fucked mine over ya know?

And now he’s awake so you have to go. Get the hell outta here so I can go take care of him. Anything else you want to know you can find out later.