for what it's worth / ariella

where would i be without someone to save me

grey / a bigass blanket / 1722 / we so mean to griella

ariella had known something bad was going to happen when she woke up this morning. she just had this sick feeling at the pit of her stomach telling her that something bad was going to go down today. she just didn't know what. she hadn't told grey though. she didn't want him worrying because she knew better than anyone that he was the protective type. she knew that their neighbours meant well and they do like her, but she also knew that grey had asked them keep a close eye on her just in case anything happened. if she told him about her uneasy feeling at the pit of her stomach, he wouldn't even let her step out of their bedroom. she loved him, there was no denying that, and she definitely appreciated his protectiveness because god knows no one has ever treated her this way. no one had ever cared about her enough to want to protect her from the world. but then ari wasn't the type of girl who liked being trapped in the house. she liked going out and getting things done. plus, she had work today and the weather was screaming at her, telling her that it was perfect for surfing. her job wasn't exactly the ideal career she had always dreamed of, but all things considered, it was something. she loved teaching people how to surf and the faces they wore when they manage to balance on their board. it was no celebrity life her mother led and it was no business management her father got. but she was definitely thinking about going to back to school. now that life was finally settling down and things were going her way, she figured it would be okay for her to go back. it wouldn't be ucla for many reasons. no matter how much she loved being in an ivy league school. she just couldn't go back there again, but usc wasn't bad either. she just had to figure out what she wanted to study or do in life. for now, though, she had to settle for this surfing job and ignore the warning bells going off in her head. she didn't think too much about it as she went through her usual morning routine. not even when the hair at back of her neck tingled as if someone was watching her. she had reassured herself that she was just being paranoid as usual. ever since she found out that man had been released from jail, she had been extremely paranoid that he would find her. although, maybe she had a reason to be. there were multiple occasions when they were still in crystal fall that she had saw him from the corner of her eye. she had thought that maybe it was just a lookalike or that she was just seeing things. but then grey had said they should move, and that seemed like a good idea to her. a new place that wouldn't make her think that she saw the man from years ago. except, she did. she often saw his figure lingering in the shadows not too far from him. but she was never sure whether it was really him or just someone else or that she just had an overactive imagination. she didn't think there was any reason to listen to her gut instinct,

but a part of her knew she should have. because if she had, none of this would have happened. she wouldn't be sitting at the back of an ambulance, wrapped in their emergency blankets that covered her very bruised and naked body. she wouldn't be here, hearing nothing, and staring at nothing in particular. a part of her registered that the paramedics were talking to her, but she didn't hear it. couldn't hear it. didn't want to hear it. she didn't want to hear anything. she didn't want to see anything. she didn't want anything. she just wanted to fade away. she wanted to wake up in grey's arms and realize this was just a nightmare. nothing but a dream. just a really really bad and cruel dream. except it wasn't. her day had went relatively normal. she had driven to work, and had taught a few classes before she went to go get some groceries, and a few things for chris. the baby boy was not her own, but she loved him so dearly that he might as well be her own. grey and chris were the only two people in the world who meant more to her than anything. she didn't know what she would do without them. grey had been an amazing friend, but he was an even greater boyfriend, and she couldn't possibly ask for more. the two males in her life made her happy, and needless to say, she was ready to settle down, but she didn't want to scare grey away. she had dropped a couple of hints here and there, but not enough to really make it obvious. she would allow him to take that step when he was ready. until then, she would just take what she had. she had been unloading the groceries into the trunk of her car that was parked in the underground parking lot when the feeling of being followed really got to her. it was making her physically sick, and she knew that the sound of grey's voice would calm her nerves a little more. she had only been on the phone with him for a few minutes when he had attacked her from behind. she hadn't known it was him at first, but she recognized the voice that haunted her dreams since she was eleven years old. her first instinct had been to run, but he already had her locked in his grip. her second was to call someone for help, but she had dropped the phone in surprise, abruptly ending the call with grey as her phone cracked from the impact against the asphalt. by the time she started to scream, though, he had already had one hand skillfully covering her mouth as he roughly pushed her against the wall. there had been plenty of struggling on her part, but as usual, he was much stronger than her. he had managed to keep her pinned against the wall with one hand while the other ripped her dress off. she hadn't thought it would happen again. it was supposed to be over. she had thought after that last time that helped her send him to jail, it wouldn't happen again. that it was the end.

but she was stupid. she should have known better. he had told her he would be back. that he would do it all over again and then proceed to kill her. that was what he had told her before she dropped out ucla. it had been his warning. it was the reason she ran. she shouldn't have put it past him that he would find her. she didn't know how long she was crying, just screaming against the cloth tied around her mouth, waiting for it to be all over. she hated him. hated knowing that he was capable of raping her again despite the fact that it had been years. hated that smug look he was wearing on his face while he tore the lingerie off her body before he got his way with her. to her, the moment felt like forever. but really, it couldn't have been that long. it just felt like it. it felt like an eternity before someone had arrived to help her. before she could even register who it was, the man had been knocked off of her and onto the ground as the two men broke. it took her seconds to realize it was grey, but all she could focus on was the fact that her worst fear had happened. the man had raped her. her eyes saw grey hitting the man over and over again, but she wasn't really seeing. all she could do was slump on the ground and curl herself into the smallest ball possible as if that would make her truly disappear from the world. she had been too indulged in her state of shock to even realize that a paramedic had wrapped a large blanket around her naked body and carrying her to the back of the ambulance. she didn't know how long grey had been fighting with the man. she didn't know how long the paramedic had been standing there, trying to get a response from her, but all she could do was stare blankly into the thin air, and do everything in her power to not throw up. but it wasn't really until grey went to cup her cheek that she came back to reality. she flinched away from his hand, turning her head so it was facing the wall of the ambulance. she knew grey would never hurt her. that was the last thing he would do, but she just couldn't. not after the way the man had touched her. she stiffened as grey sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, trying to hold back the scream her mind wanted to let out. he posed no danger, but any sort of touching at the moment absolutely terrified her. she said nothing. couldn't say anything. she didn't trust her voice. she couldn't even look at grey, afraid to see the expression he wore. afraid to see the disgust in his eyes. she kept her eyes fixed on the side of the ambulance until another officer came by, wondering if the object in his hand was grey's. her eyes darted to the engagement ring in the palm of his hand, just staring at it before she let out the first sound since grey arrived at the scene. she pulled the blanket even closer to her, her legs drawn up, knees tucked under her chin as her face dropped into the small space between her knees and her chest, crying with all her might. why? why me?" she asked, her cries muffled by the blanket. "why does it have to be me?" she exclaimed, her fingers curling into fists with the corners of the blanket in her hand, shoulders shaking as the tears streamed down her face.