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Post by SEBASTIAN DANIELS on Aug 16, 2012 13:10:11 GMT -5
. WHAT I FEEL MUST BE REAL CAUSE I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD RUBY W/NAT , 958 , TSHIRT&JEANS , ONE STEP FORWARD sebastian had been sitting at home, staring at the floor which was covered in recently developed photos. each one of them was a bright and smiling natalie with himself or their daughter or the three of them. he gave a low sigh as he slid off the couch and onto the floor, holding his head in his hands as he tried to understand how this even happened to them. how did they go from a loving, beautiful marriage that people envied to being so distant and hurt with one another? she still believed that corey was a part of her life but sebastian had written him out of her history long ago, all the way back in university. his mind was too focused on what to do about his marriage that he had been calling in sick to work and had taken some time off to figure out his own life because sebastian learned that he was nothing without natalie and evie. it was not as though he had just learned that fact though, it had been well established when he had laid eyes on both of his girls that he was never going to be the same again and even predicted to natalie that she would be his future wife. he was half right at least because they were still married, though they did not live together. he wished that she would return to the house, get familiar with it again because without the two of them, the house felt rather cold and empty. reaching for the beer bottle that was sitting on the glass table, he took a swig and leaned into the couch with an exasperated sigh. he was at a loss for what to do, and how to help her. he gave her space, he took her out, tried to jog her memory, what else was there for the male to do? he was usually the person to have all the answers between the two of them whether they were real or a smart aleck comment was a different story but he was at a loss this time as he sat in the empty house, staring at the photos on the ground.
an idea sprang to his mind quickly, maybe with the help of the alcohol and he quickly rose from his seat, staring down at the photos with a smile on his face. he was an advertiser, he could sell ice to a polar bear, he was able to do this and he knew exactly how now. rushing throughout the house, sebastian began to gather albums, videos, evidence of their marriage, things that symbolized their marriage from stuffed animals to cards, notes, the letters that they had written to each other when he left. sebastian printed out emails, he found their marriage license and he tossed everything into a large basket before tying a bow to it. it was their three years together all stuffed into a basket and he prayed that this would be a step closer as he felt that everytime he got closer, she stepped back. did she even want him? he could not think like that because he knew deep down that natalie, his wife, was still idle in her mind just needing to be triggered. the woman that he loved was there, and loved him back but he just had to pull her out and he hoped that this would help. he had done nothing to actually show her what their marriage meant and maybe this was just the ticket to help her remember. his car keys in his hand and the basket in the other, sebastian was out the door and into his car in a matter of seconds. the street lights guided him as he had one busted headlight from a small fender bender and though he knew he could get in trouble, he also knew that he had to do this, he had to try.
reaching the hotel that she was said to be staying at, sebastian parked his car, grabbed the basket out of the backseat and rushed into the lobby as he approached the front desk, ”natalie daniel’s room.” [/b] he asked and though he got a skeptical look as though the attendant was trying to figure out if he was a friend or delivery man but soon he spit out the room number and sebastian nodded before heading off to the elevator. evie would be asleep by now and that much was known as it was past eleven o’clock. the elevator ride seemed to take longer than the drive from the house to the hotel but eventually the doors opened and he rushed out, looking left and right as he took a fifty fifty chance of the correct way, scouting out the correct room number. spotting it, the basket was placed at his feet and he ran a hand through his hair before lightly knocking. he could hear shuffling inside and he thought that maybe a warning phone call would have been a wiser choice but there was no time to think about the small details such as that. as the door was slowly opened, he picked his head up and gave her a smile that mirrored the one that he gave her almost four years ago when they met, ”delivery.”[/b] he said, taking the handle of the basket to lift it off the ground and gesture it in her direction, ”it’s everything that we are…and that we can be again. you loved me once nat, let me try for that again..”[/b] as it seemed to be the only way that he was going to get anywhere and starting over seemed like the key to the lock that had him stumped for weeks. [/div][/center] |
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NATALIE DANIELS
LOCAL
elementary school teacher
played by ruby[RS:11=with sebastian daniels]
Posts: 10
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Post by NATALIE DANIELS on Aug 21, 2012 3:09:18 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 200px;]looking from a distance standing in the background sebastian / outfit / 1061 / two steps back xD
it seemed that with every second that has passed since she had woken up from her accident, everything seemed less and less like a home. natalie couldn't help but feel that she was getting distant from everyone and everything. now, all she was left was with the feeling that she wished she was back at home in california with her parents or even school. she knew, now, that she was no longer that early twenties girl studying hard in ucla but an elementary school teacher in myrtle beach. however, it was hard to think of her life of the present when she knew absolutely nothing about it. everything in her memory is of the past. it was the only thing she understood,k and while she tried to catch up on everything that was present, it was all just strange to her. for the first few days that blake was being helpful, he had tried to catch her up to the present with a few brief stories. it was mainly about her own life though. he had left sebastian out of it, mostly. he reminded her that corey was no longer part of her life and while she knew that, a part of her still thought that they break up didn't happen because as far as she could remember, they were still together. god. everything was just all so confusing for her. she felt like she was in a whirlpool of emotions, trying decipher the missing pieces of her memory. and at the same time, she had to deal with everything that was happening in the here and now. and right now, she had ended up being situated in a hotel room with evie. she had gone from a hospital room to blake's apartment to almost moving back to her "house" with sebastian, to this dainty little room. and none of those places, to her, were home. home was california. home was feeling cared for and looked after.
she knew she wasn't a little girl anymore and she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but at the same time, a part of her still wished that blake would take care of her the way he had back then. he used to always put her over other girls. and while she was totally unjustified for her anger towards him and his play/girl/toy thing, she couldn't help herself. he had cared for her when she first moved into his apartment, yes, and he was really good with her daughter. she also knew, though, that he had used her daughter to get himself brownie points with girls. she knew her brother. she knew the type of guy he was. she knew about all his little adventures with his skanks of the week. how could she not? they used to tell each other everything. despite having opposite personalities, natalie was the closest to him. she knew him better than anyone. she knew that blake had only wanted cailin to begin with was because the girl was gifted in the chest and ass area. the face too, she supposed. he had only wanted to be in her pants. she hadn't cared at first. they were just fooling around. it was supposed to be just that. another flavour of the week. he'd grow tired of her. she hadn't thought they were serious. he hadn't given her any reason to think they were serious. and now, suddenly, she was going to become an aunt? what the fuck was that all about? yes, she'll admit cailin was a nice girl, and yes, her brother is a class a asshole, but no matter how nice or pretty the girl was, no one was up to par when it came to her brothers. no one deserved them. and maybe the reason she felt so strongly about this was because she felt betrayed. and maybe even like blake was abandoning her.
whatever it was. she couldn't stand to be around her brother. right now, just hearing his name or even thinking about him made her blood boil with anger, and she really didn't need that. what with her reoccurring headaches. the doctor had told her that she would suffer through some pretty hefty headaches for a while mainly because of the head trauma she had suffered and they would go away eventually. but in the meantime, they were just one big pain in the rear end. mainly because it kept her up throughout the night - even if she had taken the sleeping pills or the tylenol extra strength medications that the doctor had prescribed. natalie wasn't normally up at this hour anymore. it was past eleven and evelyn was tucked into bed already. however, she had given up trying to sleep. the migraine that plagued her didn't allow for much of anything. she frowned when she heard the knocks on the door. who could be looking for her at this hour? she knew it wouldn't be blake because he hadn't once tried to call or look for her since she moved out of his apartment with her daughter, and it better not be sebastian cause she was still rather angry with him for taking her brother's side. but if it weren't either of them, then she truly had no idea who it would be. she didn't know anyone. or at least she couldn't remember them. she tossed the cover off herself lightly, gently getting off the bed and tossing a glance over her shoulder to make sure evie was still sound asleep before tiptoeing out of the room and closing the bedroom door behind her. she opened the door to her hotel room gently so it wouldn't squeak, frowning at the sight before her. what was he up to now? she sighed, trying to be patient with him. she had to remind herself that he was in a difficult position too and she was not helping anything with the way she was acting. maybe the reason she wasn't remembering anything was because she wasn't trying hard enough. "believe me when i say i'm not trying to be rude, but couldn't you have come at a better hour?" she asked, leaning against the door frame for support. "i appreciate you bringing all that over, but this headache is absolutely killing me so it's not really a good time."
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Post by SEBASTIAN DANIELS on Aug 24, 2012 2:51:14 GMT -5
. WHAT I FEEL MUST BE REAL CAUSE I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD RUBY W/NAT , 1019, TSHIRT&JEANS , HE'S TRYING SO HARD NAT. this was a complete mistake and sebastian knew that as soon as he was at her hotel door after having begged the secretary for the room number. his hand was gripping onto the basket in a tighter embrace to make sure it did not slip out of his hands as this was literally everything, and the only copy of almost everything. their wedding video, vows, pictures, sonograms of evie, pictures of him and evie, him and her, it was their life in a basket but even sebastian knew that he could not put them all into a basket. he was not actually able to put every kiss, every hug, embrace, fight, make up sex, tender, and scary moment that they went through in their five year relationship. maybe it had moved too fast but sebastian was living proof that their love was real as he was fighting tooth and nail to get her back but always seemed to come up with two steps pushing him back. he had thought that he had been making progress with natalie and he felt closer to her and almost felt like she might be growing closer to him but he was wrong—they weren’t anywhere closer. this basket was meant to be something to show her that they were something, they could get closer and maybe not be exactly as they were but as close to it as possible. or maybe sebastian was just holding onto the hope that one day she would remember and accept him back into her life, forget about all this time that they were apart and come back to the house. he saw the frown on her face as the door slowly opened with her two hands resting on the side to keep it from squeaking, it was the same move that she made when they were back at the house and evie was asleep. she would use two hands to shut everything incase the slightest noise woke up their sleeping daughter but evie was a lot like her father and could sleep through a thunderstorm. ”..wait, that’s it?...asking if I could come at a better hour..?” [/b], his tone was full of hurt and he lowered the basket at her feet and let out a mournful sigh. the basket was let go out of his hand and suddenly, he felt like all hope might have gone with it. he could not think of another thing to do, he could not even process another thought as this basket had taken up all of his time and effort for the night. this was not the reaction that he was looking for at all, and he was not going to lie and say that he was not disappointed. ”this is ..the best hour nat. this is the most amazing hour because it’s me pouring my heart out to you again.”[/b], pointing to the basket that was now at her feet, sitting there with almost every piece of evidence of their marriage, ”this is it. this is everything nat. this is videos, pictures, texts, emails, letters, even passed notes when we were dating. this has everything that proves that you and I are something and that something does not just vanish into thin air. our love is so much stronger than this head injury and I’m sorry that you have a migraine and I know sleep is important but you have to hear me out nat..”[/b] and this point, the male was pleading for her to just listen, to just watch a video, look at a picture, do something other than stand there with a scowl on her face as though he had just ruined everything. he let out a deep sigh, his feet shifting with an uncomfortable feeling bubbling inside of him and he was not sure if it was how empty he felt or the alcohol starting to take it’s toll. he was not sure of either but he had reach up and ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the ends, ”this is killing me nat..slowly and painfully. it’s a heartache waiting for you to remember but I will wait until forever…as long as you don’t give up hope on us.”[/b]. the next words that were about to come out were going to be ones he regretted but he had to know, he had be assured that none of this was in vain and that she was in it, all or nothing, ”unless you don’t want it nat. if you don’t want to remember, or even try again…then I’ll walk away with this basket and you can live your life the way you want to.”[/b] with all her dreams and ambitions leading her, he knew that she would be just fine in life. he finally took a brave step forward, reaching to take her hand into his and stepping around the basket, giving it a small kick to push it into the doorway of the hotel room so that either she could bring it in or bring it out. ”there is one thing that we haven’t tried..”[/b] he muttered, his thumb rushing over the skin of the back of her hand before his hand started to glide along her neck, and he leaned forward to press his lips against hers. it was slow, not full of passion but a ton of memories flooded into his mind and he had to quickly pull away before he got carried away and scared her even further. he dropped both of his hands to his side, relinquishing the hold over her and stepped back. ”just tell me nat. yes or no?..”[/b] he whispered, already feeling his voice start to crack. sebastian was usually a strong male, he was full of life and full of love but this was slowly killing him. not being able to see his wife and his child on a willing basis was enough to crack the male in half, both heart and soul as that was exactly what those two girls were. they were his life, and without them, sebastian was not even sure who he was anymore. 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NATALIE DANIELS
LOCAL
elementary school teacher
played by ruby[RS:11=with sebastian daniels]
Posts: 10
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Post by NATALIE DANIELS on Aug 28, 2012 0:59:30 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 200px;]looking from a distance standing in the background sebastian / outfit / 896 / gah, it's short, and poor seb ):
natalie was being a bitch, there was no denying that. even she understood that she was acting in an unfair manner towards sebastian. but this headache was pounding all she wanted to do was hit something until it went away. she hadn't meant to take out her frustration with the headache on him considering that he wasn't the onset of this migraine. if anything, it was her own fault. she was the one who was working her brain too hard. she knew it seemed like she didn't care about sebastian or that she didn't want to remember him or anyone for that matter, but she really was trying here and she was have a tough time. what with everything going around her and the thing with her older brother. needless to say, she never fought with blake. ever. they had their disputes and random bickers and clash of personalities. they had their moments where they threw hurtful words at one another, but never like this. nothing that lasted for more than twenty four hours. she was often the one who woke up the next morning after a sleepless night of guilt and then apologize profusely because at the end of the day, blake was her brother. he was her best friend, and they forgave each other no matter what. because blood was thicker than water. but this time was different. much different. they weren't getting better. in fact, it seemed like it was only getting worst and worst and natalie had no idea how to fix it. all she could see was the way he was drifting further and further away from her and closer and closer towards cailin. and she was absolutely clueless when it came to tugging him back. however, when she was too angry to think about them, she would, at least, try to trigger some memory of the past five years in her life. but every time she tried, she came up with a blank and a massive headache.
she physically cringed at sebastian's reaction to her words, biting down on her lower lip, instantly feeling guilty. he sounded hurt by what she had said, and she guessed she couldn't really blame him. she had been rather harsh. "sorry." she muttered, hands still clutching the door tightly. she glanced down at her feet, slightly ashamed with herself as she listened to him talk. she chewed on her lip; he was right, of course. he was pouring his heart out to her, and she was being a complete bitch and pretty much rejecting him. she glanced down at the box of things as he listed the objects. at the top she could see a few lingering pictures. and it was, indeed, the two of them. she cocked her head to the side slightly, his voice turning into a slight drumming as she studied the pictures. she could tell that the natalie that he claimed to be in love with that was in the picture was happy. it looked so natural, and the picture screamed beauty. even if it wasn't her in that picture, she could easily see just how in love the couple was. and the girl looked happier than she, herself, has ever felt. the picture resembled just another ordinary day. in fact, most of them were when the girl in the picture expected it least. and yet, in every one of them, she looked, albeit slightly annoyed, absolutely content. her eyes snapped up at him. he'd wait on her forever? he'd do that for her? after all that she had put him through? he'd still wait? she pursed her lips, glancing down at the basket before back up at him. she did want it. she wanted what the girl had in the picture. she just had no idea how.
she wanted to scoff at him. live out the life she wanted? she didn't know what she wanted in life anymore. she didn't even know who she was, let alone what she wanted to do. she hadn't even thought she was going to become an elementary school teacher. last she remembered, she was studying to become a pediatrician or a surgeon like her brother. she had no idea what had happened to her to suddenly become an elementary school teacher. she didn't even understand what changed her mind. she couldn't remember. she glanced down at the pictures again. she didn't know that girl in the picture. she was an entirely different natalie. her eyes darted to their conjoined hands before looking back at sebastian. her eyes widened slightly as his lips met her. she was frozen for a second, but her body sensed a familiarity in the kiss and started to respond to it. but before it could get any further, the kiss ended. she pursed her lips, biting down on it as she pondered the offer. "i..... i can't promise anything...." she started, sighing as she rubbed her throbbing temples for a second. "i don't want to promise anything just in case i disappoint or..... you know.... i don't remember but...." she chewed on her lower lips, avoiding any sort of eye contact with him. "i'll try. i want to try. i want to remember....." she paused, looking at the girl in the picture for a second longer before up at him again, "i want to be that girl for you."
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Post by SEBASTIAN DANIELS on Sept 5, 2012 0:47:35 GMT -5
. WHAT I FEEL MUST BE REAL CAUSE I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD RUBY W/NAT , 990, TSHIRT&JEANS , OH BABY BABY...THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.. sebastian had thrown all of the cards on the table, everything that they were, was and could be again if she would just try. sebastian knew that her head was hurting and it was jumbled up and she was confused and he wanted nothing more than to switch places with her and take the pain with everything that he had but it was impossible. it killed him enough watching her go through it and he felt that he could be pushing her now, pressuring her to give in to him once more and sebastian felt guilty but he also felt determined. he felt as though he needed to this because this final gesture was big, it was something along the lines of the proposal that he gave only years prior to this moment. their four year anniversary was fast approaching and though sebastian could revel in the memories, hers had been knocked out of her head and did not show signs of returning. she had never had an anticipation of it happening and sebastian would not have been able to predict it even in his wildest dreams. it was a lesson to him now, he was going to value the woman standing before him more whether that be as a friend or a husband, he would cherish every moment with her because it could have been their last. he did not want to push her further as her head was damaged enough and doing too much pressuring and pushing could damage her more, he still had hopes that her memory would return but for now, the light was off and sebastian was not going to force it to be turned back on. he did not want desire for his wife to be in anymore pain and how much he wished that he could take that away, but all he could do was talk. he could remind her, try and jog her blacked out memories and relive everything once more. sebastian was going to have to be nostalgic but that was only on the off chance that she would allow him too. ”don’t be. I get it. you are in pain, you are hurting and you are confused..” [/b] and sebastian did understand that, completely and he felt as though he was being selfish as he continued to speak without a filter, ”but so am i. i need to know natalie…I really, really do..”[/b] because the string of faith that their marriage was dangling on was getting frayed and sebastian did not want to stick around to watch it crash. he finished his words in a breathless, almost thoughtless huff as he finally let out the final thoughts. he waited for her to speak, waiting for her to give some kind of hope that they had something there. he knew that natalie was not the same, but in a way, she was—physically. it was shallow of the male but he had first fallen in love with that smile that rarely graced her lips anymore, than her voice from afar, then her body and then he went up to talk to her and fell in love with her personality. she was still sweet as can be, devoted to their child, but she was lost and confused and that part was never part of her personality. natalie had always been decisive, yes or no, about what she wanted and he knew when she agreed to go on one date with him that he was never going to look back. they were both stubborn as well and maybe that was the key reason as to why sebastian was standing here waiting for her answer after all this time. his desire to know was strong that she could imagine, because sebastian was losing hope and felt like he was running out of time. the kiss that he put to her lips was something that he hoped would physically remind her of each kiss that they shared from their first to the last one that they shared before she got into the accident. he winced to her words, ducking his head and tucking his chin into his chest for a moment while his hands dropped from hers and his hands went to his hips, ”alright..”[/b] he said with some assurance. but that meant she was willing to try, right? he looked up to see her rubbing at her head and sighed, ”you took the doctor’s pills right?”[/b] he asked, moving forward and gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. his fingers moved across her jawline as he held onto a small amount of her brunette, bed head tresses before finally dropping his hand, ”I don’t need a promise that you will remember natalie, I don’t even need a promise that we will ever be the same because those are empty ones. I know that you may never get your memory back and it’s the worst feeling to know that I can’t do anything to help you….but I can love you, and I do. and once upon a time, my goofy, silly , phototaking psycho self could feel that love. I feel it now, as we stand here…and you are willing to give us a try, I know it’s there, I just need to go back to square one again. redo everything and that’s exactly what I’m going to do…but I need to have your approval before I do that.”[/b] and he meant everything. he would go home tonight and write down dates, movies, kisses, everything that he could remember that would help her. ”you are more than enough.”[/b] he whispered, stepping closer and wrapping an arm around her waist, unable to contain himself as a smile was still on his face, he pressed his lips to hers once more. he made no attempt to deepen it, and instead reached for his phone and snapped a picture, pulling back with a grin, ”kiss number one.”[/b]. [/div][/center] |
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NATALIE DANIELS
LOCAL
elementary school teacher
played by ruby[RS:11=with sebastian daniels]
Posts: 10
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Post by NATALIE DANIELS on Oct 15, 2012 2:50:19 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; height: 200px;]looking from a distance standing in the background sebastian / outfit / 964 / meep! blah.
natalie kept saying that she was trying to remember. that she was trying hard and she was working on it. but this was the chance to do something more. more than just looking at videos and photos. more than just hearing stories from everyone. this was her taking actions. and while this natalie felt like she was betraying cory, she knew that she wasn't cheating. that man wasn't her's anymore. even though she still thought that they were in a relationship, it was clear that they weren't. other than the fact that his missing appearance was an obvious indication, people have told her that she was sebastian's on more than one occasion. it was her time to take a leap of faith and believe what people are telling her. because let's face it. they seem to know more about her than she did at the moment. to be honest, she was so confused that she had no idea who she was anymore. she was natalie, the studious girl that lived in a sorority house that she clearly didn't fit in, but loved anyway. but she was also the natalie that everyone around here claimed to know. the one that taught elementary school kids, baked all the time, and devoted her time to evelyn and her husband. she was both girls. but at the same time, she was neither. she was stuck in an in between that had no definition at the moment. if that even made sense. it was all just one big jumbled whirlwind of webs in her mind. some things made sense and a lot of other things didn't. and maybe that was one of the reasons as to why her migraines never seemed to disappear. she was constantly trying to make sense of everything. trying to force the puzzle pieces together so she could see the picture.
she pursed her lips at sebastian. the guilt was eating up at her slowly and painfully. the look on his face, the plead in his voice, it was all just too much. she couldn't imagine what it was like to be in his shoes, but he seemed determined to be in her life. even if it was just as friends. no matter how painful it would be for him. and the least she could do was give him a chance, right? it couldn't hurt. she didn't really have anything to lose, but her daughter did. if sebastian was the father, then her daughter would be losing a father. and she couldn't do that to her little girl. she, herself, had grown up in a very family oriented environment and the thought of her own daughter growing up without a father broke her heart. because as much as she hated to admit it, she loved being her daddy's little girl. she wasn't the youngest of the donovan's, but she was the only girl. and that gave her every right to claim the title of "daddy's little girl." she acted like she hated it, but she secretly loved being under the spotlight of her father's affection. and she would not deprive her daughter of that because she could see just how much sebastian cared for evelyn. nor could she deny the strong connection that the male and her daughter had. still, she was afraid. of what? she wasn't particularly sure. maybe she was afraid that if she threw herself out there and allowed herself to try and make it work, she would disappoint him. what if she didn't love him as much as people claimed that she had before the accident? he loved her. nattie didn't doubt that. she could see it in his eyes. the passion, the care, the worry, the love. it was all there. it was just a matter of whether she reciprocated the feeling, and she was afraid to find out that she was only setting him up for a broken heart.
her daughter, the look on his face, the familiar kiss... they were all part of what pushed her towards the decision to give it a try. because she had to admit that the kiss felt like she had done it a million times before. it felt.... right. like it made sense. for once since the accident, something made sense. her body had responded to it because it was familiar. it's happened before and it was natural. she nodded slightly, "yeah, i took it this morning." she said softly. normally, the pills helped with the concussion induced headaches, but today was particularly worse. her brown eyes stared into his ocean blue eyes, entranced by the beauty of it as he caressed her brown locks. she had never seen anything as remotely beautiful as his eyes. while it held a tropical ocean beauty, it also held sorrow. so much sorrow. and for that moment, all she wanted to do was make it better. to do whatever it took to take away that sadness. she nodded at him, "you have it. my approval. you have it." she replied softly, glancing down shyly at her feet before gazing back up at him, "am i really worth all that trouble? you seem so sure but i don't... i don't understand how." she mumbled because to her, it seemed like a lot of work. and for all he knew, it could be wasted efforts. her eyes widened slightly as he kissed her and took a photo of her. "kiss number one" he said. her feelings clashed against one another. the romantic part of her thought it was absolutely adorable and slightly cliched, but the logical part of her was peeved that he stole another kiss from her and even dared to take a picture of it. but, again, it felt familiar. she smiled uncertainly, "now what?"
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Post by SEBASTIAN DANIELS on Oct 30, 2012 0:07:47 GMT -5
. WHAT I FEEL MUST BE REAL CAUSE I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD RUBY W/NAT , 1168, TSHIRT&JEANS , LEADING INTO THE NEXT THREAD I GUESS? worry lines had formed on his forehead, his grin never quite reached his eyes and sebastian felt rather empty without the love of his life in the house with him. he missed her, he missed his daughter and the empty feeling that he felt was growing more and more intense to the point that he tried to numb himself with alcohol, but it was hard to forget three years of marriage with the influence of alcohol. the memories were too strong, the feelings were everlasting and it felt like nothing was going to change the emptiness that he felt no matter how hard he tried. sighing as he stood there before her, trying to get her to remember, jog her memory, make her at least have the feeling of familiarity with him was tough but the fact that there was a void look in her eyes made it that pain increase. it was evident that his wife was not completely there anymore and in place was this woman, lost and confused in the package that his once lively wife resided. sighing, his voice was hoarse as he finished, cracking in spots as he held back the weakness of tears that would soon come rushing down his face. he held back everything, letting out another soft sigh while taking a step forward closer to her, hearing the ghost of a sound that resembled his daughter dreaming, mumbling inchoherently but it brought a smile to his face regardless of the endless pain that he felt at this particular moment. his daughter was currently the only light that was shining in his life, the last piece of his wife that he was able to hold as natalie had started to allow the two to visit regardless of how confused she was with everything that was happening around them. she trusted him enough to be with their daughter and that was a step in the right direction but sebastian wanted a leap, not a step. he had made progress and then was pushed back into square one with just a simple word or action to his sensitive wife. he knew when he was getting closer because his heart would swell with love, pride and excitement but it would deflate and break with the forced step back and sebastian was not sure how much of the cycle he could take before he would admit defeat and try to move on.
he could not but nod, having a bit of a pressure lifted off his shoulders as she mentioned that she had taken the pills that had been prescribed doctor. they had been warned of the side effects of the head injury but he had never expected to be expelled from his family, pushed out of the inner circle, that was something that the doctor had never mentioned those side effects. he had never said anything about their marriage crumbling, being thrown into this whirlwind of emotions, headaches were expected but heartache was not. he was blown off his feet when she mentioned wanting to be move out only a few days of being in the hospital, he had been heartbroken when she had expressed her distrust in him with their daughter but it seemed that things were turning back to normal and she was willing to give him a chance and that was good enough for the male. ”how many are you allowed to take and how many did you take? [/b], glancing at his watch to measure the amount of the time that had passed since the hour that could be considered morning. he dropped his head as the time stared back at him and he felt a ping of guilt for coming to the door on a whim, probably pushing herself out of a peaceful slumber all because he was selfish. he wanted her back into his life, as a friend, a lover, his wife, a babysitter but sebastian had to get accustomed to the idea that he would not see her face every single day and that was hard enough for him but to know that things might never fall back into place was even more difficult, it shattered him. he reached up, twirling a strand of hair around his finger, giving it a playful tug before releasing it completely, staring at the ground before slowly running his eyes up his wife’s body, not having much shame for his actions, ”I do?’[/b] he asked, needing the reassurance that the rehabilitation was allowed to be taken. though myrtle beach was not where their story began, sebastian would make sure that it would be the start of a new chapter for them. ”I just…need to double, triple check even. you don’t know how much I need this nat..and I know I’m being selfish but I need you in my life, I’m dying without you..”[/b] he said truthfully, closing the space between them but not making a move to touch her. he nodded slowly, bringing his lips to her forehead in a way to give his own reassurance, and her own. she needed to know that he loved her and would do anything to be with her, and that included starting everything over. ”completely.”[/b] he whispered against her skin as he pulled away, and chuckled to her words, his head shaking slowly to her complete distrust in her own appeal. she was beautiful, even in this moment of shaking in his arms and having her confidence shattered by his own words and her own insecurities, ”how am i sure?”[/b] he asked quizzically, his eyebrow raising and reaching into his pocket for the very wedding ring that had been placed on her finger on their wedding day. lifting her hand with a father touch, his lips grazed her knuckle before lightly slipping the finger upon her pointer finger, not wanting to declare anything that fast and that soon, ”because we love each other…and that love does not vanish just because you got bumped on the head. the memories might be gone but the feelings are still there..”[/b], giving her forehead a poke after having dropped her hand . he shrugged to her question, licking his lips with the thought of exactly that—what now? ”our first date…or our second first date..”[/b] he mumbled the last part, his brows furrowing as he tried to think of how to actually classify it, but he knew that it was the start of a new beginning for them. the love that they felt had not vanished, it was still there and he could see it in her dark brown irises, dormant but still visible, ”pick a time and date…then I will leave you alone until then, let you…think it over.”[/b] he said, not wanting to actually leave her side but it seemed like the best idea. she needed time to think, he needed time to plan and time for the both was exactly what they needed to get back on track—even if it took forever, sebastian would wait.[/div][/center] |
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