|
Post by natasha on Jul 31, 2012 17:46:58 GMT -5
dear mason, and that picture is what you need to carry on? hm..interesting. no you don't deserve and you don't have it, i don't know when the letters will stop, when you will disappear again, but i know you are trying and i can tell, i appreciate it--even though it's annoying. you always were stubborn as fuck. i've realized it, it's cute...but again, annoying. basically, plus you are probably deprived and you know for a fact that i can get you off so easily. i bet i could get you off through writing this letter currently. it's easy as fuck with you, but i guess i know just what buttons to push. okay i'll be waiting for that call...hm, i doubt it, it's not your job, it's mine to get people off and make them want me. ...oh really now? hm, what shall we wager? ....
mason, i don't want you to give up your fucking dream for a pipeline dream. you are living an illusion if you think that leaving the team will make this any better. it's not about the future, it's about the past. it's you leaving even though i asked you to stay and it's not going to change...ever. don't leave the team, stay there because it makes you happy and your team depends on you and i know it means the world to you. i get what you are willing to give up for me but i'm telling you not to fucking do it.
mhm, sure you will. i'll believe it when i see the number on my screen.
..yes i did, it's a habit.
from,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|
|
Post by mason on Jul 31, 2012 20:27:37 GMT -5
Letter 11
Dearest Natasha,
Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. I'll let you take a wild guess as to the correct answer on that one. The letters won't stop, Natasha. Not unless something happens to me and, God willing, that won't happen either. I'm asking you to have a little faith in me even if you don't trust me. I know it's a lot to ask of you, but know that I'm not going to willingly stop writing you jut because I get lazy. If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I'm not lazy. Not in the least. Clearly, I live to annoy the hell out of you.
And what can I say? You know how to turn my crank whereas most others don't. Life has been pretty damned dull without you around these last years. Don't mistake that in the least. And no, it's not my job any more, but I'm taking up the challenge anyhow. But I think some part of you still does want me. You just don't want to admit it yet. But there's one thing, Natasha... I know the real sound of you. You won't slip a fake past me, even if you try to tell me that it was real. Just remember that.
What shall we wager? How about dinner when I get back stateside. You had to know that was coming - No pun intended.
It's not a pipedream, Tasha. I'm not saying that leaving the team will make it better because it has to get better before I'd ever even contemplate leaving the Team. I just want to make sure that you know what I'd be willing to give up for you. I was a kid, Tasha. You were a kid too. I made mistakes. Mistakes that I have to live with for the rest of my life now. Mistakes that I will spend the rest of my life working to make amends for. If that means staying single for the rest of my life because my heart belongs to another woman, you'll bet your ass I will. And Tasha... I have been single since you. I'm not saying I've been celibate... but I haven't even attempted to give my heart to another woman. I couldn't. Ever. I hurt you once, but I couldn't betray you like that.
And believe it, Lady. From what I understand, there may or may not be some R&R incoming for us boys and I'll fight for the Sat phone with everything I've got in me if I have to.
Love Always, Mason
P.S. Africa makes up 22% of the Earth's total land mass.
P.P.S. That was four letters over 50 words and with random sentences in them. Bring it, Baby.
|
|
|
Post by natasha on Jul 31, 2012 20:55:48 GMT -5
dear mason, i already know the fucking answer, it's quite obvious at this point since you won't give up and you say that you will never give up. if something happens to you, i'll know cause the letters will stop and i will fighting tooth and nail to get to your side just so that i can slap you across the face as soon as you wake up. i know you aren't lazy, i know you can go for quite a while..so far that even i used to get tired before you were winded. but yes, i know just what to say or do, or let you imagine me doing to get you off. dinner? seriously...i knew that was fucking going to come. ugh fine, dinner. if you can get me to moan out your name through the phone before you moan mine, you win. no...you are not leaving because it's what you have always wanted and i get the fucking sacrifice but don't let that rest on my shoulders that you gave up your dream for me because i'll fucking kick your ass. i know you haven't been celibate, someone like you needs sex and i know that, i accept that and you know that i'm too ..frisky and too into sex to give it up just because of a broken heart and my job obviously shows that i didn't stop just because you took off. you lost me long ago, you should have moved on around that time, at that last letter that i wrote you...that is when you should have given up mason but of course, you are a stubborn ass.
okay okay, you earned it. heres is a little more leg baby.
click
from,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|
|
Post by mason on Jul 31, 2012 21:27:15 GMT -5
Letter 12
Dearest Natasha,
That picture definitely helped me make it through the night nice and warm. And there isn't a hope in hell of anyone else seeing that damned picture unless the beat the snot out of me en masse and steal it from me. Which, really, I wouldn't put past them in the least. The older guys on the teams are kinda pricks like that. But we love 'em anyways.
When you say it like that, you almost make it sound worth while shooting myself in the foot. A slap from you can be pretty kinky and all. And hey, I wasn't talking about lazy in that respect, but you have no idea how pleased I am that you automatically jumped to that conclusion. Or maybe you do. Who the hell knows? You always did like your little mind games, didn't you? And I'll be damned if that isn't hot in its own way.
I agree to those terms 100%. But I think you doubt the willpower of a SEAL when he sincerely wants something. And I want my shot at dinner with you when I get back home again. I'll do what I have to do to succeed because failure just isn't an option. Remember that. Always remember that.
Well, I'm telling you now... when the time feels right... regardless of what particular time in my life that is, I will leave the teams when I'm good and ready to. You might factor into the decision. And if you do, you shouldn't feel any guilt over that. I'm a big boy now, Tasha. I can make my own decisions a hell of a lot better and with much more of a level head these days than I ever did in the past. Don't forget that either.
And I never assumed there'd been no one for you after me. It's something I have to live with because I fucked up but... as you said in a previous letter... I don't like it, but I accept it. Moving on just isn't that easy, Tash. You can't help but go with the flow when your heart decides to give itself away to another person. Not without destroying yourself in the process. Loving you is a part of who and what I am. It has been since the moment I first kissed you. From the moment I first spoke to you. Touched you. It'll be a part of me until the day I die. I know that now because I'm man enough to confess that I was scared back then, Tasha. I'm terrified now, but I'm man enough to face down that fear too.
Always Yours, Mason
P.S. Ice cream is damned good.
|
|
|
Post by natasha on Jul 31, 2012 21:54:33 GMT -5
dear mason, i expected nothing less, so is that a clue that you are somewhere cool?...maybe. hm, i will be beating the snot out of you eventually, you just don't know when or where. and slapping like this will not be the kinky shit that you enjoy so much, it will leave your face bruised and scratched since you know my nails are always sharp. oh i do know how pleased you are but that is nothing compared to how pleased you will be when you decide to call or if you decide to call. hm, i don't doubt your willpower as a SEAL, i have complete faith that your sexual drive will betray you and you will be moaning natasha before i moan mason. ...i don't doubt that eventually you will leave the SEALs, you can't be one forever but what i will not accept is that you give it up for me because i will drop kick your ass to the ground if you think that you are going to put that on my conscious as i have enough shit sitting up there at the moment. you do it because you feel it's time, not because you think i think that it's time....if i'm even in your life in that way at that point. yes you do, you have to accept that there have been guys after you, those that were there for a while and those that lasted only days because fucking hell that none of them were you mason and i was too hurt by you and was trying to fucking replace you but....g-d dammit you are way too into my heart and into my soul that no guy will be you. well...do you even remember our first kiss? cause it was fuzzy for me, was it rain? drunk? no shit you were scared and you ran, you can admit that. you left and you ran from your feelings and from what we were because you were a coward and just because you are a fucking seal, doesn't mean that you still have the kind of kind of courage or that kind of commitment to do so mason.
from,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|
|
Post by mason on Jul 31, 2012 22:41:44 GMT -5
Letter 13
Dearest Natasha,
Unlucky letter number thirteen. Go figure. Before I even get in to the last letter you sent, I'm going to give you about as much of an update as I can on what happened her the last few days. It's been rough as hell, Tasha. I was doing support work in one of the villages here (I know you still don't know where here is) when we came under fire. We've gone the full time we've been here to date without so much as seeing another soul and then, all of the sudden, it felt like hell had been unleashed upon us.
There were two guys in our platoon... great guys... Marc and Kevin. Kevin took some shrapnel to his left leg. I patched him up as well as I could but he bled out. They knicked his artery. Just like that he was gone. Marc... he took a round to the face. The face and the son of a bitch lived. I don't understand it. I don't understand the distinction and balance between life and death. Kevin was standing watch beside me. I ducked down to tie my fucking boot of all things. The sniper took a kill shot and got him. He could have got me too. He could have got me instead.
I guess it's a real ego check to the mortality factor.
It was a clue that I was in a place that cools down dramatically in the evenings. But that doesn't narrow it down at all. Most places wind up cooling down dramatically at night. Especially at this time of year. Hermasa, I love your nails. Never forget that. I know exactly what they're capable of and even if you come in with the intentions of biting, scratching and generally abusing me, I'll find a way to turn it around.
I've already decided to call. So now it's just a matter of finding me a Sat phone and some down time alone. Key word there is alone. Seems like Dylan's always hovering nearby though. I think he's caught on to my extended leaves to the Head and figured out that you sent me a little something in the mail to get me by on those lonely nights here. He's too damn smart for his own good and way too obnoxious to boot.
You will be in my life when I make that decision. I have no doubt in my mind about it. You're still in denial about a lot of things, but I'd like to point out that, so far, you went from not reading my letters at all to responding to every three or four of them with disdain. And now you're actually flirting with me and writing me responses daily. Not to mention, they're getting longer and longer as time goes on. And damnit, it feels good. It feels good knowing that at least some part of you cares.
I remember our first kiss damn well. It wasn't quite as romantic as I would have liked it to be, perhaps... It was raining and you were drunk. I wasn't. You were. You got that adorable little vulnerable look in your eyes when I walked you to the front door of your house. And then you started leaning towards me. You were shivering from the rain. I wrapped my arms around you. And it just... happened. And there's not a day that I don't think about that first kiss. It was also the day that I told myself I was going to marry you one day.
Becoming a SEAL changes a person in all the ways that count. If you don't have a certain level of commitment, you don't get through the training without gaining it. There're no half measures any more, Tasha. Go big or go home. And where you're concerned, I'll go fucking ballpark stadium big if I have to. Maybe even universe big. And by the time you realize what hit you, it'll be too late.
Still Loving You, Mason
P.S. Toilet paper here feels like ground up leaves mashed together in a paper refinery.
|
|
|
Post by natasha on Aug 1, 2012 2:25:58 GMT -5
dear mason, fuck mason, that was a long ass letter, i almost feel like it's like two in one. keep updating me by the way dumbass, i kind of like to know that you are okay but also what exactly you are doing--or kind of doing.....oh..wow okay that is extreme, FUCK, don't tell me that you almost got a bullet to the head! what the fuck is wrong with you!? you had me like flailing about and then the phone rang and i had to act sexy and not freaked the fuck out. i'm sorry about your comrade, really..he must have been a great guy and i'm sure he was an amazing addition to that team. glad to hear your other friend was okay though, at least one of them made it out alive. yes well when you return home, they could be scraping up and down your back, or they could be laid across your face...i haven't decided yet but that means you actually have to get back and come home...i'm not in complete denial, the letters is a sign that you are in my life and i'm in yours because yes, i'm replying, i'm engaging, i'm trying and putting the effort that you don't deserve but i'm giving it anyway. it must be the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder thing". today i had to pretend to be a welsh, which with my own accent is fucking hard as hell but apparently i did well cause he was moaning about two minutes into the conversation. hmm...that's probably why i don't remember it, being drunk and all. i do remember you taking me home from the party but that was about it..all black after that, explains a lot, no? and then my cousin dumped a bucket of water on my head to wake me up. right, seal commitment, and relationship commitment are different--and i don't know if you can still do the latter but i guess i have another 5 or 6 months for that idea to change.
and that toliet paper thing was unneeded information and slightly, just you know, a little fucking disgusting.
until next time,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|
|
Post by mason on Aug 1, 2012 2:39:48 GMT -5
Letter 14
Dearest Tasha,
Shit. So I should have included two random lines and it would have counted for two? Is that what you're saying? I'll have to keep that in mind for the next time I write you a mini novel. I'll keep updating you as much as I possibly can. I swear. We shipped our fallen out today. It was one of the most sombre experiences I'd ever been a part of. There had to be about fifty of us all congregated together on the tarmac in dress blues, sending our boy off back home for the final time. Kind of goes to show you that you never know what'll happen.
I'm fine, Tasha. Just a little nostalgic, I guess... But I'm fine. It's all a part of this screwed up game. I think, what pisses me off most of all, is that our ROE's - Rules of Engagement - as dictated by the top brass says that we aren't allowed to fire unless fired upon right now. What kind of crap is that? I have to wait to kill a motherfucker until he takes a shot at me? I hate politics. I hate red tape.
Sorry... just blowing off some steam I guess. I'm just pissed about what happened the other day, I think...
Woah. Woah woah woah. Okay. So. You want to know more details about what I'm doing but I can't know the details about what you're doing or I might kill someone, Natasha. Unless you want me to go all he-man and get all pissed off and start making your customers disappear. Because I can do that. I can totally do that.
Well that's real uplifting for a man's ego. I guess, when I get back home, I'm going to have to kiss you for the first time all over again, huh? Clean slate. Starting over. Because I'm still 100% convinced (Maybe even more than 100% now) that you will be an active part of my life again one day. Because I refuse to give up on us even if you gave up on us long ago. I'm not the same guy I was and I take to responsibility one hell of a lot better than I ever did before. I'll show you and you'll understand. You have five and a half months. Five and a half more months of me constantly writing you and putting a smile on your face when you get my letters in the mail. And don't lie. I know you're smiling when you get them.
You know I've always loved sharing, Babe.
Love Always, Mason
P.S. I'm determined to see a zebra one of these days.
|
|
|
Post by natasha on Aug 1, 2012 2:48:40 GMT -5
dear mason, just cause you got shot and you need to cool off...or i guess this will actually heat you up, i'll attach a small present for you. i'm sorry, that sounds...horrible but make sure that you are not in that casket or i don't know what i will do. yea..i get it, that is fucked up but you were shot at, so why didn't you shoot back? you guys were open fired, who the fuck made these rules!? ugh..i hate your job because you make me more nervous than ever when you actually go off on these stupid missions. haha..good luck finding them because even i don't know their names or anything so it's all fun and games but i was allowed to use my real accent today but i was the student in this twisted student/teacher thing. i don't know what this guys problem was but it was a little creepy, i get those occasionally. and you can't get them when you are halfway around the world..or maybe. ...clean slate?...i'm still unsure about that right now but i remember your kisses and it's making me all hot and bothered that you aren't here, especially on the sweet spot on my neck--the one that you never left unmarked. i swear i should have just tattooed your lips there because you seem to have loved that spot more than anything. yes...five and a half months and yes, i do smile.
about the zebra thing, never gone to a zoo and seen one?
the picture is what i look like right now...before going to bed. click
maybe yours,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|
|
Post by mason on Aug 1, 2012 3:13:42 GMT -5
Letter 15
Dearest Tasha,
Heat up. Definitely heat up. I'm pretty sure that took my mind off of everything for a while. Even breathing. I think I forgot to do that for a minute too. Couldn't help it. Not when you're so damned beautiful. And you are beautiful. You're not just sexy and hot as hell. You're beautiful, Tasha. Stunningly so.
Oh, believe me. I did shoot back. I just figured you might not want to hear about the fact that I shot someone in the head and dropped him right in front of me. But hey... if you want the nitty gritty details... Who the hell am I to complain? But forgive me if I test the waters a little bit. I'm not sure how much you can handle me telling you before you reject it all. And that's about the last thing I want from you. Ever. I don't want you looking at me like I'm some kind of a monster because I'm doing what I have to do out here in order to survive.
I never want to see that look in your eyes.
Eh. Caller tracking and triangulation works wonders. Did I mention that we have a communication specialist on my team? I'll put him to damned good use. Heh heh. Stop telling me about them, Tasha. Seriously. Way more than my brain can handle without exploding and wanting to hit something.
The only problem with tattooing my lips on your neck is the fact that there'd be a few weeks where I wouldn't be able to kiss and nibble you there without hurting you. And I hardly think that's fair. So for now... live with the memory of it and know, given half the chance, I'll make damn good on my promise to make sure that you experience those sensations all over again.
And I'm glad you smile. There's nothing more beautiful than seeing you smile.
Didn't have much time for the zoo growing up when it was just Maria and I.
Always Yours, Mason
P.S. Did you know that Arabic is actually the most common used language in Africa?
|
|
|
Post by natasha on Aug 1, 2012 3:22:28 GMT -5
dear mason, only when i go to bed, most of the time, i'm just damned sexy. i was just going to bed and the camera was there, and you seemed so worried and stressed and i know the best stress reliever after all. so hope you enjoyed that and didn't mess it up too much cause you know...you won't get another one for another letter or so. hmm...not too bad, kind of gross but you did what you had to do and i can't fucking judge you for that, given the chance, and the right moment, i would have probably done the same thing. you're not a monster, you are a SEAL. hmm, didn't realize that worked from wherever the fuck you are. oh i was hoping to get your blood flowing with these stories, like i was a sheep for about two minutes today...fucking weird. but you know..we could always do this stuff over letter writing..maybe.
let's see..hmm, a scenario. i think you should pick it and i'll make it work. let's see how well this works out, maybe pictures won't even be needed after all. i got a tattoo but not of your lips, i'll let you find that little number eventually as it's not entirely visible unless most of my clothes are off. remember, i don't mind a little pain and i can dish it right back out to you, but you are already aware of that from our teen days. i'm pretty sure my body is my best asset, but sure mason, sure, my smile is dazzling.
well i guess i will have to take you to see a zebra someday, and hm...a clue perhaps? if you are in africa, i'm sure you will see a fucking zebra at some point or at least a giraffe, just don't get eaten by a lion.
maybe yours,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|
|
Post by mason on Aug 1, 2012 3:39:02 GMT -5
Letter 16
Dearest Natasha,
Oh, believe me... I know how damned sexy you are. You are the most incredible stress reliever. I know that damned well too. And believe me... it went a long way towards making me feel better. A hell of a long way. And I know you're probably going to think it's a load of bullshit... but it feels like another world over here, Tasha. And seeing stuff like that... reminders of home and what is waiting back home (even if you're not specifically waiting for me)... Well... it makes the world feel a little smaller, I guess.
We don't need to do this stuff over letter writing because as soon as I put this pen and paper down, I'm going to wrestle the sat phone from my CO and give you a call. No sheep noises required. Just a little one on one time between you and I.
Everything is dazzling. And I'll keep that tattoo in mind. Lord knows I'm looking forward to discovering it and rediscovering what you seem to think is your best asset.
Anyhow... I sent you a little present along with this letter. I was walking among some of the locals here a little while ago and came across it. It's pretty damn authentic and I do hope you like it. If not... use it as a paper weight or something. But it's something to let you know that I am thinking about you. I'm always thinking about you.
Also.... if I was in Africa... Which I'm not saying I am because that would be against regulation altogether... I'd make sure I fed Dylan to a lion to give me the time I needed to get clear. But he wouldn't be much of a snack. Too scrawny.
Love Always, Mason
P.S. MRE's taste like ass.
|
|
|
Post by natasha on Aug 1, 2012 4:02:58 GMT -5
dear mason, figured it would. that's why it was attached to the letter, it was meant to calm you down and get your fire going at the same time. i know that you fight harder when you are working toward something so...that was the fuel. i'm sure it does, you are far away from home with your dumbass, prick like friend as your only source of anything even remotely close to reminding you of this g-d forsaken place. and i am waiting for you, at least i think i am. i'm waiting for you to return home to at least try and see what we can salvage..i think. i do miss you and i do worry about you, you got me grinding my teeth at night and i'm even missing phone calls because i'm writing a letter to you. it's all non-stop writing for me. hmm, i did enjoy that phone conversation but i think i won and got you first but i don't blame you, you got...dylan, while i got...well an entire male population of myrtle beach. the tattoo was for my mom and then i got one for you as well...but it's more like a tramp stamp, in a way but that was when you had just left and before all the stuff with my mother. and that present was highly uncalled for but extremely beautiful and very heavy. i loved it though, it was quite a gift and i don't even want to know what you paid for it but i thank you for it mason, it was very thoughtful. and i don't need a present to know that you are thinking of me. hm, good idea, he sounds like a downright prick anyway, and you are all muscle....you would more of a treat for anyone.
what the hell is mre? and one more letter until a picture...i'm cutting you some slack
maybe yours,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|
|
Post by mason on Aug 1, 2012 5:26:51 GMT -5
Letter 17
Dearest Tasha,
Only you could manage to do that to me. I don't know how you manage it, but damnit woman, you do. It's enough to drive me insane almost all of the time and you know it. I know you know it and I know you like driving me crazy. There's no other woman in the world that can manage it quite the way that you do. And believe me... there's a lot of fuel on that particular fire now.
Speaking of my dumbass, prick like friend... I think he thinks I'm pretty fucking insane at this point. As soon as I read the part about you waiting for me to return home, I practically hit the roof. I know it's not a vow. And I know it wasn't even terribly cemented in your mind when you wrote it but... it's a start. It's enough of a start to give me a shit load of hope and, believe me.... right now, what I need most of all is hope. So thank you for that. Thank you for at least opening your mind up to the possibility.
Screw the entire male population of Myrtle Beach (Not literally, or I'mma go on a murderous rampage when I touch down there, but you get the point). But I agree that Dylan is one hell of a piss poor substitute for you. Anyone - man, woman or otherwise - would be a piss poor substitute for you, Angel. And yeah. I'm man enough to admit that you won. But damn woman... when did you get that good at making me crazy?
Well... I'd love to see the tattoo you got for me, sometime. Here's to hoping that we can turn it into a legitimate happy memory rather than a bittersweet reminder. Lord knows I want to be back in your life again and I'm doing everything I can to make sure that I'm worthy of having an angel like you in mine. I have a lot to atone for and I'm not disregarding that fact in the least. But this is a start and that's all I can ask for. It's more than I ever had a right to ask for.
I wanted to send you the gift. I think Maria's getting tired of jewellery from all over the damned globe so it's time to shower my affections on someone else worth while. And Dylan... well... he may be a little prick that loves to get into trouble, but at the heart of it, he's my best friend and there's genuinely no one else I'd rather have at my back in a sticky situation.
An MRE is a Meal; ready to eat. It's like... decompressed sludge that is meant to taste like one thing, but all it really tastes like is ass. They're highly mobile and easy to carry around and relatively healthy if you can get past the taste and texture. It's generally what we eat when we're on the move.
Love Always, Mason
P.S. I'm pretty sure I can name at least five different types of poisonous spiders and physical traits each of them have off by heart by now.
|
|
|
Post by natasha on Aug 1, 2012 14:16:23 GMT -5
dear mason, hm, hope that it doesn't rain if you hit the roof there buddy, that would just fucking suck and i'm certain that your buddies would not be all that pleased. and i'm always been that good at driving you crazy, i know exactly what you love and where you want it, how fast, how hard, but at least your scenario is better than i've gotten as of late. if you haven't noticed, you are fucking back in my life because no matter how hard i try, you wiggle your way back in, same thing when we were teenagers. i don't know how you fucking do it mason but the way that you are back in my life has yet to be determined as even i don't have a clue for it. ...but yes, it's a start. well, i tell people it was random and stupid so no one knows that it was for you but i do, my mother's is automatically known and on my shoulder blade. well good, glad that he is protecting your ass and you are protecting his make sure it stays that way. the gift was sweet, and i appreciate it but again, so uncalled for. if you are in austrailia, send me a koala or something. kidding...but they are damned cute. but i'm sure you are a little more west of that, i just don't know where exactly as it is a huge fucking continent.
aaaah, that's just kind of gross. and don't talk to me about spiders...
and i guess you earned this picture, click. it was laundry day..i hate not matching.
maybe yours,
[/size][/font] natasha
[/size][/justify]
|
|