Post by abigail baker on Sept 18, 2012 0:57:44 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; -moz-border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; padding: 10px; border: #000000 solid 0px; ] stuck in this daydream. [style=font-family: helvetica; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 6px; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center;]SASS FULL NAME: Abigail Lillian Baker ALIAS: Abi, Gail DATE OF BIRTH: 09/04/92 AGE: Twenty OCCUPATION: Sales Clerk SEXUALITY: Straight PLAY BY: Esti Ginzburg University Student [style=background-color: #5a667e; border: 10px solid #5a667e; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 10px; color: white; text-align: center;]all about me Hello! You may know who I am already or you may not, depends on if you know my father or who my family is I guess. For those of you who don’t know me my name is Abigail Lillian Baker and I prefer to be called Abi or Gail because Abigail just sounds so formal and it’s what my dad always calls me because he refuses to use a nickname for his own reasons. I was born on April 9th, 1992 to my parents Adam and Joyce Baker. They had a kid before me, my older brother Brian Baker and he was five years older than me. He died in an accident four years ago and my parents were deeply affected by it. Currently I’m working as a sales clerk in a local grocery store but I also volunteer at the church with my parents. In university my major is child development and I’m planning to go into social services with it to be able to help kids who need someone to stand up for them. It was a major my father approved of and a life choice he could accept. When it comes to love I’m not looking to the same sex as myself, I have nothing against women I just don’t choose to date them. When it comes to dating though I’m not currently even on the market, my boyfriend Joshua makes that clear whenever we’re out or around in public together. [/style]What daddy knows…Is what he needs to know. My family is pretty proper you could say. We’re church-going types and my father is very family oriented. I was their planned second child and they were happy to get a daughter because they already had a son but they would have been happy either way. Growing up I was raised ‘right’ meaning I was taught to value what I had and to be a strong faithful woman. My father has high expectations of me and he always has, he’s supportive of the choices his family makes so long as it’s what he feels is right. I got into the normal child troubles generally and nothing too major. You could say I grew up as daddy’s little “princess” and you wouldn’t actually be wrong. I never caused problems because my brother did enough of that for both of us which annoyed my father to no end. I was sixteen when my brother died. He was twenty one and living it up like fun was going out of style. My father had tried keeping him under thumb, tried to help him calm down so he wouldn’t be reckless and get in trouble since the cops had been to our house a few times thanks to Brian. We got the call that he’d been in an accident and had been taken to the hospital, we had the chance to get there and see him one last time. My father tried to tell him that it was a sign, that he needed to stop being the way he was and calm down because this was what happened. Brian had been drinking and maybe doing drugs at the party he’d left and driving that way was what had caused the accident. There were complications during the surgery they performed trying to fix one of his lungs and some other internal damage, we lost him that night and my father got so mad at himself for not doing more to “save” brian from the destructive life he was living. Growing up there had been more rules than normal for me because of my brother’s troublemaking and things. My father didn’t want me becoming like brian so he tried to make me be a “good girl” and it was manageable to kinda get wiggle room to do the more fun things if I played my cards right. Once brian died? It got a whole lot worse. He basically put me under lock and key and wouldn’t let me do anything. He weighed me down with rules and restrictions in an attempt to chain me down and stop me from being anything like brian. He was only causing problems for himself though because his chains were making me itchy for the more fun things in life. I started dating Josh when I was eighteen, he goes to our church and I’d seen him around otherwise plus he’d been ahead of me in school by only a year so I knew him from there too. My father wasn’t happy about me dating but he did like josh because he was a member of the church and he knew his parents so he knew josh was a “good kid”. Josh helped me live a little too since he would make it so I could go to dances and things through my senior year because I’d have him there with me to keep an eye on me and keep me safe. He’s not all that different from my father in that he doesn’t want me out partying and things but that’s more because he doesn’t want other men trying to take what he views as his. His protective streak is a mile long but it’s one of his charms I guess. When he started university he moved into the dorms there and he’s still there so I get to see him plenty yes but not all the time. I’ve got plenty of “me” time still to hang out with friends and things and focus on my studies of course. If you ask my father what kind of girl I am he would tell you that I am respectful, honest, caring, reserved, faithful, dedicated, responsible, and gentle. Those are the words he wants to use to define me because that means he accomplished his goal and made me into who he wanted me to become. When I’m around him I do my best not to make his opinion change because he’s important to me and because he’s the one paying for my schooling even though I wanted to do it myself. He needed that level of control and I let him have it to avoid any fights or arguments. He thinks I’m some meek woman who will let him guide and save her from herself and the evils of the world. I let him think what he needs to think. What daddy doesn’t know…Would probably give him a heart attack. That’s the truth of it since because those chains he’s bound me down with started itching I’ve been finding ways to slip them to enjoy life a bit even if he doesn’t want me to. I learned that by saying I’m doing what he wants and playing my part as perfect little girl around him I can slip the things he’d hate right on by under his nose. I would be staying with friends for study groups or church things and while he thought I was safe and secure somewhere I was really out at a club dancing the night away and flirting my little heart out. I didn’t plan to be under my father’s thumb forever and I still don’t, he won’t like it once he realizes but hopefully by then I’ll be older and he’ll maybe somehow have lightened up a bit? I enjoy having fun and going to clubs to dance and enjoy a night, I even have a drink or two as long as I know I have a way to get home. The nights I go out to the bars and things I don’t normally take Josh with me because he’s normally busy himself those nights (yeah I plan it at times) and because he wouldn’t approve of my behavior. I know he loves me but I also know he’s got a bit of my dad’s attitude and the two of them talk often enough that he doesn’t need to know just as much as my dad doesn’t need to know. We’ve talked about the future a bit and I guess when the day comes where we’ll take a more final step I’ll have to calm down my wild side a little but until then I’m going to enjoy it. I take dance classes, have been since I was seventeen since a friend of mine was going. We’d made arrangements that I’d spend her dance nights over at her place every week as a kind of “friend ritual” and while we told them that I was going and observing the classes we never mentioned how I was taking part in them and learning. Dancing is something I love to do. There’s just something about how the music rolls through you and makes you want…no need to move that calls to me and is irresistible. If it weren’t for my father and his dreams of my “college career” I’d have found a way to make dancing my life instead by teaching or performing or something like that. If you ask me what I’m like when my parents or Joshua aren’t around I’ll tell you I’m fun loving, outgoing, sarcastic, sharp-minded, a little hurt by my father holding me back because of brian, witty, flirty, daring, strong, loving, caring, stubborn, and a little two faced since there are clearly two sides to this coin. I don’t hold myself back when I’m enjoying myself and I don’t fit into the “good girl” role then either. I let loose when I’m out dancing at a club or bar and some nights I pick p shifts at a local bar serving drinks when they need someone to fill in. I enjoy having fun and relaxing, letting my hair down and just doing whatever I want. I know that someday I’ll have to choose between making my dad happy or making myself happy but until that day I’m pretty damned happy with what I’m doing right now and who I currently am…even if I’m really unsure if I’m doing the right thing sometimes. It’s okay to be a little insecure when you’re hiding such a big part of yourself right? But for the greater good you push it aside and keep going. |
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