Post by sex on Oct 12, 2012 4:21:24 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; -moz-border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; padding: 10px; border: #000000 solid 0px; ] stuck in this daydream. [style=font-family: helvetica; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 6px; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center;]MELIMUS PRIME FULL NAME: Sienna Elenore Xander ALIAS: Si (Pronounced 'See') DATE OF BIRTH: 31/10/1988 AGE: 23 (Almost 24) OCCUPATION: Student/Bartender SEXUALITY: Bisexual PLAY BY: Charity Laurus UNIVERSITY [style=background-color: #65727A; border: 10px solid #65727A; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 10px; color: white; text-align: center;]all about me Life, as I know it, hasn't exactly been sunshine and daisies. And I'm not blaming anyone else for that. I know I made a number of mistakes in my life that wound up leading to this point, but at the end of the day - even if it might be too little, too late - I'm working on making thing work. I know I have a long way to go yet but... I'm working on it. Let me start with the basic rundown of me though and we'll go on from there. [style= text-align: center; font-family: georgia; font-size: 15px; color: #6699FF;]IT'S WHERE I CAME FROM I was born Halloween night in 1988 to parents Devin and Samantha Xander. Of course, they weren't married at the time, but that's beyond the point. My parents were never really the conventional type in that respect. A lot of people hear the word 'pregnant' and automatically think they need a shot gun wedding. My folks weren't the same way. My dad waited. Bided his time. He knew he was going to wind up with my mom anyways and, when it all boiled down to it, he saved up, worked his ass off in a crappy factory job, and then wound up buying her an engagement ring. [Points to her right ring finger] The same one I wear over here. It's definitely not an engagement ring on me, but more of a momento. I'll get into that a little more in a bit though, I guess. You probably have enough questions about it. Anyhow... I was born right here in Myrtle Beach. Yes, I was a surprise to both of my parents, but I wasn't unwanted or unloved by any means of the word. My father doted on both me and my mother. Most people would think that I would have grown up a pink fairytale princess like that and, I suppose, for a while, I did. But my father laid down the groundwork for the person that I'd wind up becoming because, like me, he's into the whole alternative scene. He's a big burly tattooed biker guy with the personality of a damned teddy bear, for the most part. But that's the home I grew up in and the influence I grew up with. WHAT MATTERS MOST OF ALL What matters most of all to me? Family. Family is everything to me, really. Some days it's all I have. And it's kind of sad how quickly things can be put into perspective for you and kind of suck the air from your lungs. Like I already mentioned, I'm close to my father. But my mother... Well... she's an angel. Both figuratively and literally. I was just starting out high school when she found out that she had leukemia. Cancer is a horrible thing to watch someone you love go through. There's such a huge range of emotions that just exhaust you. There's the denial of what's happening.. The fear... The sense of helplessness to those surrounding the person. There's hope that often seems to lead to crushing and bitter disappointment and, in our case, there was heartbreak. Dad tells me, even to this day, that if it weren't for me, he probably wouldn't have fared so well after mom passed away. The doctors gave her six months after the time of her diagnosis, but she fought it for two years. Two years. She was so strong and brave for the both of us, even though she knew damned well what was happening to her. I still remember the last time I saw her before she died. She told me to laugh often and live life to the fullest. She told me to take care of Dad. On a lot of fronts, looking back on my life and the way I've lived it, I know I disappointed her a lot up until recently. I can't say I'm proud of that fact, but I'm working on piecing things together now. And the third person who has had the most impact on me is probably the number one reason that I'm able to look back on all of this with a clear mind and realize how much of a little twat I was growing up. My son. Yeah. You heard me... My son. Bryce is four now. Just at the right age to get into all sorts of trouble. But he's a good kid. He's a genuinely good kid. He's had his grandfather as a father figure all this time and I've only just recently gone back to school, so I guess I haven't screwed him up too badly. YOU TAKE THE GOOD Like I said... my life has been a series of bad decisions in some cases, but in other cases, I've definitely had my happier moments. Despite the struggles that I went through while I was pregnant and all of the sneers I wound up with, combined with the fact that Bryce's father turned out to be a real class act, I never knew love quite like I did the moment I held him in my arms for the first time. Truth be told, I was going to give him up for adoption prior to that moment. I had been prepared to sign off on all of the paperwork and carry on with my life, but my father begged me to wait. He told me that if I didn't wait I'd wind up living with the regret of it for the rest of my life. He knew me far too well. And he's right. As much as I would have liked to think I could have walked away from it all, there's no way I could have lived without the doubt and regret in my mind. But he's beautiful. He's kept my anchored in many situations and reminds me that I have someone depending on me now. Someone that I need to keep it all together for, even when I feel like everything's falling apart. When I went into this, I didn't know the first thing about being a mother. But I've been learning. I've been learning a hell of a lot and I'm thankful for my father's support in all of this. YOU TAKE THE BAD When my mother died, I kind of went off the rails a little bit. I was in high school. There was plenty opportunity for me to go off the rails as it stood. I was already hanging out with the crowd of metal heads and punks for the most part. But there were always two kinds of those in the school. The good ones... the ones who were genuinely good people and lived their lifestyles in peace for the most part... And then there were those who did anything but that. They were the party animals. The ones who got high on a regular basis and went on destructive binges. They were the ones that gave everyone else in the genre a bad name at the heart of it all. And when Mom got sick, I gradually started veering towards the other group. Dad didn't see it coming and, understandably so. He respected me and my judgement enough at the time to make the right decisions. I was old enough, after all. But all I did on that front was let him down and it's one of the things I do majorly regret. And yet, at the same time, I can't bring myself to regret it all that much because, if I hadn't have hung out with that group during the tail end of high school, I wouldn't have wound up with Bryce in my life. The good and the bad, you know? AND YOU TAKE THE UGLY At the tail end of high school I made a good number more mistakes than I ever had before. I wound up with the wrong guy in my life. My dad made it more than clear that he didn't like him in the least. I thought he was just being a hypocritical prick because he was into the punk scene. What I wasn't seeing was that it had nothing to do with the scene he was in and everything to do with the choices that he made. But things didn't get bad with him until I got into a huge fight with my father and wound up moving in with Bryce's dad. He seemed like an okay kind of guy even if he was pretty heavily into drugs at the time. But it was when he started going for the bottle that he got really bad. I'm a lot tougher of a person now than I was back then. Back then I had nothing worth fighting for. I was just a scared kid trying to make it in an adult world that I wasn't ready for. And I didn't know how to make it on my own and was far too proud to go crawling back to my father, even if I know he would have taken me back in in a heartbeat if it came down to it. But all my pride did was see to it that I had bruises that I had to work to hide. And I didn't bother to change the way that I was living until a year after having moved in with him, when I was only nineteen years old, and discovered that I was pregnant. Even back then, I guess I knew that everything was about to change for me. There must have been something there that I felt for that little spark of life growing inside of me because I finally grew a backbone and stood up to the prick. He was demanding that I get rid of the baby. I told him I wouldn't. So he told me that he'd get rid of it himself. When he attacked me, I grabbed the first available thing, which happened to be a bloody gaming console, and I cracked it over his head pretty damned hard. Knocked him flat out on his ass. He'd already hit me pretty badly and when I called my Dad and he arrived at our apartment with the cops in tow, it was more than clear what had happened. Needless to say, he's spending his days in jail at the moment. BUT I'LL GET BY Bryce, my dad and I all live in a house here in Myrtle Beach. It's Dad's house, sure, but we occupy the basement apartment downstairs. It works out well enough for us. Dad works at home doing web design and computer repair on the side. He's brilliant at it. And it works out well enough because he's always there for Bryce during the day. It'll be so much easier when he starts up school next year though. Me? Well... I've finally gone back to university. Blessedly, because I live with my father, he doesn't charge me rent. I'd never be able to get by if he did. I cover the grocery bill though and take care of things around the house as a thank you to him. I cook, clean... that kind of thing. As for what I'm doing in university right now... Well... I'm taking writing courses. Right now I write articles for an online radio station's web page based on local music and news in the music industry. As I'm sure you can imagine, it centers mostly around the alternative genres. It doesn't pay much of anything... Just a small portion of proceeds from advertising, but it's something to get my name out there in the open a little bit. Eventually, I want to do the real thing... Working for a magazine and the whole nines. I'll get there some day. Bryce is a happy kid. He's inquisitive and isn't afraid to show it. He really and truly is my life. I don't know what I'd wind up doing without him in it these days. He's met his father once and only once while he was out on parole. My father was there with me for the visit, but the moment he raised his voice and Bryce started screaming bloody murder because he was scared, he got pissed off at him. And I knew, right then and there, that I didn't want my son around that man. I have full custody of him. Bryce's father wound up back in jail again, but I don't know when he's going to be out again and have no desire to keep tabs on it. Call me stupid, if you want, but the fact of the matter is that if I did keep tabs on him, all I'd be doing is living in fear of the day he got out. I won't do that to myself or my son. I work a bartending job Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights at a local bar. I got the high paying nights because my boss knows that I have a son to take care of and can't work five nights a week while still juggling school. I suppose it goes a long way towards helping when you consider the fact that he's been a friend of mine since high school. [/style][/style] |
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