when your world splits down the middle , angel

[KYLIE DE LUCA]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][/style][atrb=style, width: 525px; border-bottom: 20px #CBB596 solid, bTable] YOU THINK THE WORST IS A BROKEN HEART what's going to kill you is the second part [style=height: 305px; width: 250px; margin-right: -520px; font-size: 8.5px; font-family: tahoma; text-align: justify; line-height: .9; text-transform: lowercase; overflow: auto; scrollbar-base-color:#71200E; color: #000;]with a glance around the empty apartment, kylie felt empty herself. she could feel this void in the pit of her stomach, an empty space in her heart where her ex-boyfriend used to be, and her apartment was just the icing on the cake. freshly having walked out of their once shared apartment, she was standing in the living room with her arms wrapped her body and holding onto the only thing that she had left in her life, herself. everyone had walked out on her at one point and that left her where? here, in the empty apartment with nothing but a few of her possessions scattered around the room in the form of furniture but it was not what she wanted. she wanted an intangible object, something that she could not touch but could feel but it seemed that even that was too much in her own life. the void was growing larger and as her eyes darted from empty space to empty space, they fell onto the entrance to the kitchen where sharp objects were residing, nestled in their wooden box, waiting and taunting her. the thought of sucide was a selfish one, but what more did she have to live for? sighing, she felt her legs shifting but she remained in the same spot in the living room, ”what am I going to do..”

[/b] she muttered as it appeared that slicing the hurt out of her was not going to be an option and her body had decided that one. kylie was not a girl that enjoyed pain and the thought of putting a sharp object to her skin was causing her to shudder as she dropped to the floor, huddled in a ball for warmth and comfort while staring at the texture, and laid there for who knows how long. the girl was not aware of the time that passed, just that her stomach was starting to growl and that meant that she had to feed herself at some point or else the pain of hunger would begin and again, the brunette was not a fanatic of pain.

using the coffee table, she pushed herself onto her feet with much assistance from the furniture that were scattered around her apartment, having been shifted in an attempt to make the apartment look different. it still held memories and even a little movement of the furniture was not going to change that but she could believe it would and that was good enough. ”right food..”[/b] she muttered to the air around her, grabbing a sweater from the hanger and stepping of the apartment, letting the door shut but not lock on her way out. there was nothing that could be taken that she would actually care about because her heart had been shattered, her mind was in drabbles and her body was just aching, the loss of a personal possession could not do that much damage. the nearest place was the Chinese food place, a regular for her and her ex-boyfriend, and a place full of bitter sweet memories. the two of them would bicker, and then make up over their love of chinese food but that was then, and this was now. now, she stepped into the chinese food restaurant, giving a hesitant smile in the direction of the cooks and the cashier and stared at the menu that was plastered on the wall. it had to be different, that was what her life was going to be and it was going to start with culinary choices as of this moment. tapping a finger to her lip, she mumbled the choices under her breath, trying to decide what would be best at this moment, letting her stomach do the decision making as it let out a low growl as the words ‘lemon chicken’ passed through her lips. giving her stomach a pat as though it was an entity all it’s own, kylie stepped up to the counter and placed her order, taking a seat in an irregular spot and getting a look of curiosity from the cashier. she shrugged, ”broke up.”[/b] she said as though reading their mind and got a nod and a shrug as though it was disbelieving. they often had their fights in this very space, giving the staff a show before she or he would storm out as their hot and cold relationship ran cold when they were in public but again, that was then and this was now.

she tried to ignore the memories that were flooding back, pushing them away was doing nothing as her head was laid in her hands, palms pressed to her forehead and fingers entangled in her tresses as an attempt to calm herself down. she was hitting the breaking point, her head shaking as though rejecting the idea of a having tears roll down her cheeks but they did anyway. she should have known that this was a bad idea and yet, her own mind had talked her into it, forcing her to be brave before she was ready to be and the freshly opened wound was stinging as she rose from the table, jumping to the feeling of a hand on her back. ”your order is ready in ten..” which kylie gave a nod to but her steps were taking her backward, toward the exit. she ignored the calls of the staff, wanting to be anywhere but here and finding an alleyway that seemed acceptable for this kind of moment. her breakdown was hard, her body racking in sobs and feeling a dry heave feeling coming all too quick. it did not matter how many times that her hands wiped at her eyes, the tears kept coming and the pain carried on until the numb stage was skipped and all she felt was pain.[/div][/center][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

THIS POST IS THE ADORABLE AND ASSERTIVE DAISY WITH HER CHARACTER, ANGEL

[/COLOR]. THIS POST TURNED OUT TO BE 964[/B] WORDS. MUSE METER IS FULL[/B] AND KYLIEIS WEARING THIS WITH BLACK ZIPPED UP SWEATER[/URL][/COLOR]. ANYTHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THIS POST IS SO EXCITED FOR THESE TWO <3 .[/B][/div][/center]

[angel]

[/style][style=width: 430px; height: 300px; padding: 10px; font-size: 10px; overflow: auto; border-top: 5px solid #8b0a50; border-bottom: 5px solid #8b0a50; text-align: justify;]Schizophrenics, bi-polar disorder, depression, anxiety. Angel shoved his appointment book away from him, knocking over a could kink-knacks in the process. He groaned in frustration and put his hand over his eyes in an attempt to calm himself down. He was not in the mood for any of it today. Basically he had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. The entire day for him so far had been a disaster. Getting out of bed he had stepped on a thumbtack he had thought he'd lost weeks ago, and then his car broke down on the way to work. He had been late, but that wasn't so bad considering it was his office and could arrive when he liked, but he had been late for one of his early appointments, and of course the lady whom he was supposed to be seeing was very "disappointed" in him. He knew what that meant, but gave her the extra time with him anyway to make it up to her. He was a really nice guy that way. He wasn't about to be a jerk just because he was having a bad day. That wasn't the kind of guy he was. The rest of the day had gone by in silence. He had no other appointments for the morning, and stayed locked in his office, pouring over old notes, and doing nothing much else. That was when he had grabbed his appointment book. He wanted to figure out when his next appointment of the day was, and the ones after were. He had the biggest urge for Chinese, but didn't want to order in. Sure, he was a lazy man, never really up for much more than sitting at his desk, or his large easy chair in the office, but today was going to be different. Today he was going to walk over to the Chinese place on the corner and get it himself. He figured that maybe he needed the exercise, and the cool air might actually help him feel better about his day.

He pushed back in his desk chair and got up. He quickly made sure that he had his wallet and his keys before heading out of his personal office. He stopped by the reception desk to tell his secretary where he was going, before leaving the office completely. He wasn't going to be out for the rest of the day. He knew that he couldn't. He had appointments later in the afternoon, that he wasn't about to cancel or miss. In fact, he had yet to do either of those things, and honestly, he wasn't about to start now. Angel sighed as he exited the building and felt the cool autumn breeze on his face. He hadn't thought to bring his jacket with him, but he felt that that was alright. He had been through cooler temperatures up in New York, so to him, this felt almost like nothing. He strayed through the street calmly and quickly, thoughts running through his head about what he should get at the chinese place. He wasn't quite familiar with the menu, but he had some sort of idea of what they had. He had seen that a lot of those places seemed to be similar, so he ran through what he knew, playing with his bottom lip, between his teeth as he walked.

Just as he was about to enter the resturant, he heard a soft crying from the alley beside. Knitting his eyebrows together, Angel doubled back and made his way to the alley. He wondered who was crying, why they were crying, and how he could help. He always wanted to help people, which is why he became a psychologist. It was a career that aided people with their problems, helped them make tough desisions, while getting paid in the process. Sure, he liked the money he was getting from the career he had chosen, but even if he wasn't getting paid, he would stick to it anyway. He liked what he did, no matter the salary, because he was helping people. He was doing what he felt was what he was put here on earth to do. Which is why as he entered the alley, and he saw the girl sitting there, tearing staining her soft porcelin skin, he was ready. He was ready to help her in whatever way he could. Even if he just talked to her like he did with all of his patients on a daily basis. Slowly he approched the girl and knelt down in front of her, worry and concern written all over his face. "Hey," He said and swallowed. Hesitantly, he put a hand on her knee. It was a gesture showing her that he wasn't there to hurt her, but at the same time was saying that he wanted to help her. "What's wrong? Maybe I can help."

outfit: click notes: I'm sorry for this terrible, and not the longest reply. The next one will be better; promise

[KYLIE DE LUCA]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][/style][atrb=style, width: 525px; border-bottom: 20px #CBB596 solid, bTable] YOU THINK THE WORST IS A BROKEN HEART what's going to kill you is the second part [style=height: 305px; width: 250px; margin-right: -520px; font-size: 8.5px; font-family: tahoma; text-align: justify; line-height: .9; text-transform: lowercase; overflow: auto; scrollbar-base-color:#71200E; color: #000;]her life had turned to shambles since her boyfriend had walked out on her, leaving her with nothing but scars and a broken heart as evidence of their relationship. there was nothing but empty promises and words to help get her through the night, him promising to always be there, apologizing for discoloring her skin, but now kylie could easily see that none of that was true—he didn’t care and maybe that was what hurt the most, more so than an actually physical empty space beside her in the bed. sighing as she stood in the restaurant, thinking of what would satisfy the gnawing and continuous growling in her stomach, kylie’s mind began to wander in the silence that surrounded her. eyes flitting over the choices and then to the faces of the cashier and cooks who had this all-knowing look that something was not right with kylie. she did not understand how they could just know with a simple look but the ghost of a tear that was sliding down her cheek, wiped away as though it was just a small itch under her skin, was a good indicator of what she was feeling. even kylie did not know how to react to anything anymore, it all felt repetitive, robotic with no thought into her daily life anymore as she got up, went to classes, hauled herself to work and then sometimes had a class or two after her shifts. her long days turned into blurs and she had no idea how to change what she was doing because it all felt automatic and that was not how kylie used to feel. she used to be happy, a smile on her face, a positive outlook on life but lately, everything seemed to be leaving her including that ray of light that used to shine in her eyes. her family was no longer speaking to her since the desertion, her boyfriend had walked out on her after she gave up everything for him and to make matters worse, the muse where she expressed herself through melodies and lyrics was diminished as well. with more thought into her life while scanning over the pictures and the words of the menu, her vision began to double with the tears flooding into her eyes, threatening to brim over and just fall. the hand to her shoulder startled her but that was what she needed, human contact, to break any faux walls that she had built up to crash. she had not had a hand on her shoulder, or any real physical contact with a person and it felt like someone cared, for only a second because kylie walked away from the gesture and the words and sprinted out, running out the door and needing a place now. she found her haven in the form of an alleyway, small, dark and probably a little unsafe, kylie felt like it was the lesser of two evils instead of just crying in the street. her sobs bounced off the wall as she rested her back against the solid brick surface and tilted her head back to stare up at the darkening sky, small dots beginning to peek out through the soft midnight blue hue. she shook her head though and repeatedly began to run her hands over her cheek which caused the tears to smear, making her face red and blotchy. her knees were the next thing to go as they buckled underneath her and she crumbled to the hard ground, a hand on the wall to help guide her to her slow descend. with more time and energy wasted, kylie curled her legs under her, her shoes soles hitting the wooden surface and if it had been for the thought of how germ covered the terrain was, she would have curled up into a ball. unsure of how much time had passed but knowing that the tears were not stopping, her sobs were growing louder and it was too much effort to even gasp for air—she tried to hold her breath in order to end the suffering but her body’s only reaction instead of making her heart stop was to force her mind to take that needed breath as her head became just a little lighter. a hand suddenly touched her knee and she picked her head up from the tucked position that it had been in, her shoulders moving with her racking sobs but she recoiled to the touch, pulling her knee away from the stranger who she could only see in the dim alley light. ”..what?..”

[/b] she asked with a few needed gasps before she could respond, not a normal response for the girl. usually kylie was more friendly and more open to letting people in but the lessons of the recent past taught her that was not a good idea and that the world being shut out might be the lesser of two evils in this sense. ”..y-y…you can’t…n-no one can.”[/b] she said with a dry throat making her throat a little raspier than usual but she felt that was the truth. unless this male was jaxon in disguise, or her mother, her father, a friend that she had left behind when coming to the states, then no, he could not help. regardless of her words though, kylie reached for the male, wrapping her small hands into the fabric of his shirt and using the leverage to pull herself closer. her head buried into his shoulder and her sobs still escaping her for another few moments. human contact seemed to calm her down to an extent, moreso than the beginning of her breakdown and after a few moments, her head picked up and she shook her head, unballing his shirt from her digits and wiping at her eyes, grateful for the no-make up idea that she had today. ”sorry..i’m sorry..i..i got your shirt all wet and I made you stop..and i’m sorry..i’m so sorry”[/b], for what she was apologizing for was beyond her, except for the part about his shirt because that was wet with her tears, but the rest, was not actually addressed to him. the rest of her apologies were to every single wrong that she did in her life and to every single person that had been affected by her small, but still problematic mistakes.
.[/div][/center][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

THIS POST IS THE ADORABLE AND ASSERTIVE DAISY WITH HER CHARACTER, ANGEL

[/COLOR]. THIS POST TURNED OUT TO BE 1067[/B] WORDS. MUSE METER IS FULL[/B] AND KYLIE IS WEARING THIS WITH BLACK ZIPPED UP SWEATER[/URL][/COLOR]. ANYTHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THIS POST IS SO EXCITED FOR THESE TWO <3 .[/B][/div][/center]

[angel]

[/style][style=width: 430px; height: 300px; padding: 10px; font-size: 10px; overflow: auto; border-top: 5px solid #8b0a50; border-bottom: 5px solid #8b0a50; text-align: justify;]Strolling through the streets, his eyes were focused on nothing in particular other than the road ahead. Walking caused his mind to wander. His favourite television program was going to be on that night, and it made him smile as he thought of everything that might happen. He wondered about which characters would make an appearance. Of course there were the main characters, but what about recurring cast, guest stars? He thought about what could happen in the episode to come. What sort of plot twists could be thrown the viewer's way? Would relationships be formed or crumble? Thinking about it distracted him and soon he was thinking a little too hard about it and took a deep breath, forcing himself back into reality. He knew that he couldn't get too lost in a fictional world or else his mind would fall off the edge of the earth and it would be quite difficult for himself to return. He would become so involved that he would completely miss his intended destination and he would go on for miles before realizing that it had happened. He knew himself well, and he knew that coming back from the dwells of his favourite fictional universe was the best thing for him at that moment.

Hearing the sobs from the alley had probably interested him more than they should have. He didn't know who was in the alley, or what they were capable of. What he did know was that they caused him a small heart ache. He heard each and every one and some how felt the pain. The smile that had been plastered on his face from his earlier thoughts was now faded. He had turned his head in the direction of the alley, but waited to make a move. Again, he let his mind wander, but this time, it was over the pros and cons of going in to see who it was and what the problem was. He wanted desperately to help this person. He felt inclined to. Sure, technically it wasn't his problem, nor should he have to make it his problem, but he wanted to. His entire profession was centered around helping people and making their problems his own. It was what he lived for, and that ultimately made his decision to venture forth into the alley and speak with the girl who sat there, with tears running down her face and an expression that made him want to rip out his heart. He could see the pain that she was experiencing, but he had no idea where it was coming from, and he intended to find out.

Angel pressed his lips together, retracting his hand after her initial rejection of the contact. He looked at her, but didn't say anything more than he already had. At least not yet. he wanted to study her first. To try and see if he could figure out the problem before he had her explain. He was a shrink after all. No matter how much she didn't want to tell a stranger her problems, he had a way of making people spill their guts to him even if they didn't know him. He studied her carefully, but behind the tears and the pain and the sorrow, he couldn't see anything. Yes, he saw a girl, maybe a couple years younger than himself, but that was about it. He couldn't see into the deep bowels of her soul and pull out what seemed to be causing her tears to fall. This seemed to frustrate him, but he did his best not to let it show. The way that she seemed to cling to him next was definitely a surprise to him. So much he had a difficult time keeping his balance and almost fell back, but instead forced himself forward and into her so that his knees collided with the ground below. He seemed to stare, wide-eyed. He hadn't expected this, but used it. He quickly relaxed and put one hand on her back to show that he cared. He cared that she was upset, even if he didn't know her. He wanted to see her happy, and he wanted to see her smile, and he was going to do his best to try and achieve that.

Releasing her as she released him, he looked down at his tear stained shirt and just chuckled. He looked at the girl with a warm smile to try and reassure her, but the way she was apologizing to him, made him think that it wasn't going to help as much as he hoped it would have. Angel reached towards the girl and brushed a couple fingers across her cheek to wipe away a few of the tears and rested the same hand on her shoulder. He licked his dry lips and focused all of him on her. "Hey, hey. There's no need to be sorry. Everything's going to be okay." He said softly, doing his best to try and reassure her that it wasn't the end of the world. Sure, he still didn't know what was bothering her, but he was going to find out. Even if it took the rest of the day. "Why don't you tell me your name?"

outfit: click notes: I'm sorry for this terrible, and not the longest reply. The next one will be better; promise

[KYLIE DE LUCA]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][/style][atrb=style, width: 525px; border-bottom: 20px #CBB596 solid, bTable] YOU THINK THE WORST IS A BROKEN HEART what's going to kill you is the second part [style=height: 305px; width: 250px; margin-right: -520px; font-size: 8.5px; font-family: tahoma; text-align: justify; line-height: .9; text-transform: lowercase; overflow: auto; scrollbar-base-color:#71200E; color: #000;]kylie wished that she was not so emotionally weak, or physically weak. her inability to throw a punch came from the violence that had been forced into her life with an unwilling acceptance and to make matters worse, it was always by people that she cared for her. her mother was never violent and neither was her step father but the son that she called brother, and used to called stalker, had introduced her to a side of the world that kylie had never really taken much thought in. she had never thought of people as dark and twisted, obsessive and aggressive and more along the lines of that everyone had a good side that could be found in the darkest of times but lucas proved her wrong with his obsessive and aggressive ways. jaxon continued the trend as she entered the relationship in hopes of having a safe haven and was met with a fate that she deemed worse than the fate that her step brother had for her. she would have been with her neglectful family at least and not alone in a city that kylie did not even want to come to, only to be left here by the boyfriend that she had given her heart and soul too. now everything was in ruins and things were falling apart at a rapid rate as she was unable to keep the rent going and would be forced to leave the apartment that she grown accustomed too and then the fact that she was loveless and friendless as jaxon never really allowed her to make too close of social relations. now that fact was a problem as kylie was unable to find anyone to lean on and instead, choose the wall of an alleyway to get her emotions out as best as she could. she tried to keep her sobbing down but knew that if she got anymore hysterical that people were going to think that she was insane and possibly choosing an alleyway was not her smartest decision in the world as she was stuck in a dead end and in a vulnerable position. luck was on her side though as she cried in the shadows of the alleyway, her hands wiping at her tear stained cheeks every few seconds to try and rid herself of the waterworks but nothing seemed to be helping. she had not actually expected anyone to stop as her faith in humanity was slowly fading and thinking of people as nothing but selfish and cruel beings who wanted to cause people harm. kylie wondered if she should have kept just a sliver of hope and it was shown in the male that was sitting before her but saying nothing which actually made her uncomfortable. before everything, kylie had been a social girl who did not mind striking up a conversation with a stranger, just as long as things were kept in the dark due to the violent nature of her ex-boyfriend. she was not sure what came over her but latching onto the stranger for just some kind of human contact was both uncharacteristic and instrusive of her and once she gained control over her thoughts and actions, she pulled back from the male and wiped at her eyes once more. feeling like she was spiralling into a pit of despair, she leaned into the brick wall and tilted her head up, sniffling to try and calm herself. her breath was hitching every few seconds and a sob escaped her throat but she shook her head to the male as he spoke, ”no..it’s really not. everything is falling apart…nothing is going right and..they all left”

[/b]. they were referring to everyone in her life and everyone that could have been in her life but kylie sacrificed love for friends and made a horrible mistake in doing so, one that she was sure not to repeat. spilling everything out but her own lunch to the male, she was unsure of why she was doing so as this was unorthodox but kylie knew that she was a weak girl when it came to her emotions and she always needed to vent, usually it was to jaxon though.

shaking her head, she used her sleeves to wipe at her eyes once more and sighed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand, ”ugh I …look psycho, don’t i?”[/b] she asked with a self-conscious sigh and glanced up to stare at him. he was asking for her name and she opened her mouth but found a hiccup escape instead of her own voice, her hand instantly reaching up to cover her mouth as another hiccup came. she was not surprised that this was the result of crying as she had sucked in so many deep breaths that her stomach was inflated with air at the moment, but she no longer felt light headed and felt a little more relieved as that was exactly what she had to do, and was unsure of why it took her so long to realize that. ”me?...”[/b] but she suddenly felt stupid while realizing that they were the only two in the alley, ”kylie…um..kylie de luca…”[/b] she mumbled out, brushing at her cheeks once more and then glanced up, meeting his stare, ”and yours?...”[/b] she asked cautiously while slowly uncurling her legs from under her and opening herself back up to the idea of humanity, or at least a small friendship with the unknown male.[/div][/center][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

THIS POST IS THE ADORABLE AND ASSERTIVE DAISY WITH HER CHARACTER, ANGEL

[/COLOR]. THIS POST TURNED OUT TO BE 913[/B] WORDS. MUSE METER IS FULL[/B] AND KYLIE IS WEARING THIS WITH BLACK ZIPPED UP SWEATER[/URL][/COLOR]. ANYTHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THIS POST IS SO EXCITED FOR THESE TWO <3 .[/B][/div][/center]