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Post by KIERNAN O'FARRELL on Nov 1, 2012 14:18:39 GMT -5
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[/style] [STYLE=border:2px solid #000000; width:380px; color:#5D5D5D; font-family:calibri; font-size:11px; line-height:90%; padding:20px; text-align:justify; border-radius: 0px 10px 50px 10px; box-shadow: 3px 3px 3px #9d9d9d; text-transform: lowercase;]Kiernan could understand Nick not wanting to know what was going on with his friends when it came to the private stuff about people’s private lives. Of course a private life was supposed to already be private right? But there were things that were on a separate list of things you generally don’t talk about or something. He didn’t care either way because screwing with Nick’s head? That was more interesting than keeping everything “naughty” under wraps in his opinion. Thinking about Nick and that brunette he was into seemed a little odd and he didn’t want the details at all either. Knowing Nick was actually with someone and seemed okay with it, happy even, and she wasn’t finding issues herself was enough detail on the matter for him. He nodded when Kira said Nick was pretty taken with the girl and shrugged, ”Whatever works for him is his business.” he said thinking if the girl could help Nick relax and enjoy life a bit then that was a good thing since the man seemed a little wound tight sometimes and way too invested in his own work…not that Kier had much room to work since he literally lived at his own work-place.
Looking over at Kira he nodded to her answer of “likewise” knowing there was a lot that they didn’t know about each other and those skeletons in their closets would either stay there hidden away or maybe someday they’d come out but they both had skeletons and that was just how it went. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the mention of being skewered with a tire iron possibly and found himself nodding in agreement, ”Good motto to live by.” he said and shook his head at her talk about luck and skill. Considering that a moment he had to admit to believing she had plenty of skill but that still didn’t mean she’d get her picture. ”Skill won’t do you any good if you’re not lucky enough to get the chance to use it in this case.” he said a little cocky since he knew himself and his habit of not giving those smiles too often.
One thing you could say about Kiernan for sure was that he was a man who kept his promises so his promise to keep her warm was another he wouldn’t fail to fulfill. A point he decided was proven as they lay there after one of his hands resting on her lower back as she sprawled overtop him. His other arm was tucked up behind his head as he say there looking up at the ceiling of the fallout shelter a little curious about the storm going on up there but mostly just relaxing a little bit even if it wasn’t wise. Her voice pulled him away from his drifting thoughts and he knew what she was going to ask just by how she started it and was nodding as she finished her question. ”He is. Brendan and he’s six years old now.” he said answering the two questions that normally followed finding out he had a son without needing them to be asked.
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Post by kira on Nov 1, 2012 16:25:21 GMT -5
Honestly, Kira wasn't sure what she was expecting where Kiernan was concerned. He was one of those men that, while she had a basic understanding of what his life was like now, she had no freaking idea as to what his life had been like before all of this. And there had to be a 'before' all of this. One didn't just simply open up a survival camp for the hell of it. Especially not when you were as god damned good at it as he was. She wouldn't go ahead and tell him that though. At least, not right then and there.
But him having a son? Honestly, she hadn't seen that one coming to be completely honest. Which was why she looked at him speculatively when he said his name. It wasn't that she doubted him in the least, but she felt as if she had to reassess her opinion of him in the moment. But she sensed that there was a bit of pain lying beneath the surface with this particular conversation. Even still, she had to admit she was curious and, really, if he didn't want to talk about it, she had a damned good feeling that he'd just wind up telling her to shut up... Which she would respect. "Six.." She lay her cheek against his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. "My nephew is six now... My niece is four..." She admitted. She was quiet a moment. "He's beautiful, by the way." She said.
Shit... they were having a moment here, weren't they? But Kira couldn't bring herself to care. Not now that she'd mentioned the family that she'd left behind in Russia. "Holidays should be... interesting this year. I guess I've kind of grown accustomed to being jumped on on Christmas morning." She murmured. She paused a moment and tilted her head up to look at Kiernan again. "Where is he?" She asked curiously.
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Post by KIERNAN O'FARRELL on Nov 1, 2012 19:48:20 GMT -5
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[/style] [STYLE=border:2px solid #000000; width:380px; color:#5D5D5D; font-family:calibri; font-size:11px; line-height:90%; padding:20px; text-align:justify; border-radius: 0px 10px 50px 10px; box-shadow: 3px 3px 3px #9d9d9d; text-transform: lowercase;]Kiernan hadn’t really imagined when he invited her up to get her out of the motel that he’d end up with an extended house-guest and someone he didn’t mind locking himself in a room with. He wasn’t going to lose his mind and start using the L word right yet but she was surprisingly easy to get along with and had her own skeletons so she couldn’t judge too harshly for him having his. He couldn’t honestly be sure what they were doing right now with the sex and random conversations, why he hadn’t yet told someone to set up a cabin for her and sent her to it. He didn’t want to think too much on it, he knew he’d probably find details about himself and being lonely that he didn’t need to be considering.
Her curiosity was valid since he didn’t advertise having a son, actually nearly never mentioned it because it was a somewhat painful for him. Not being able to see Brendan or be in his life as a father sucked and he would admit that in a heartbeat if asked. He had never planned to be an absent father, never thought he’d be just someone his son thought of as “that guy that visits and has fun but mom tells me to call dad” instead of just being dad. He couldn’t blame Morrigan for wanting to keep Bren safe but he could blame her for not even bothering to try keeping the relationship between him and his son strong when he could easily come to the states since he always offered to pay for the whole trip for her and Bren or to send someone he trusted to get Bren and bring him safely to the states. She knew better than anyone that he could be trusted to keep his son safe…didn’t seem to matter to her though.
Listening as Kira talked about her nephew and niece he realized that they may have more in common aside from paranoia and a touch of insanity. That feeling of missing them and not being able to actually fix it like you’d fix anything else that was wrong. A small sad smile twisted his lips as she said he was beautiful and he nodded, ”He is…and growing far too fast. I feel like it’s been ten years for every one when I see him.” he said with a sigh and closed his eyes. Listening as she spoke about the holidays he chuckled, ”I’d offer to jump on you but I don’t think that’s what you mean somehow.” he said trying to lighten their mood just a little before opening his eyes again. ”Ireland with his mother and her new husband that he calls daddy or da like it’s the most natural thing on the planet.” he said his voice monotone to avoid showing the pain that statement caused. ”Your family is in Russia I’d guess?”
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Post by kira on Nov 1, 2012 20:14:22 GMT -5
Kira didn't even want to contemplate what was happening between the pair of them. She didn't want to label it or think of why the thought of up and leaving Kiernan actually didn't sit well with her. It wasn't as if she was tied to the man in any which way, but there was one driving factor in why she stuck around. She trusted him. She trusted him a hell of a lot and for a woman who had vowed never to trust another human being, save her own flesh and blood, that was saying one hell of a lot. She trusted Kier with her life and the fact that she knew that he wouldn't rat her out. She didn't need his protection, but she realized, with a bit of a start, that she needed his companionship to an extent. She was just as lonely as he was. And rather than making her run for the hills, that actually made her bury her nose against his shoulder just a little more. God help her.
Kira couldn't imagine what it was like to have a child that you never got the chance to see, however. And judging by the fact that Kira hadn't met this son and the fact that there was a degree of pain in Kiernan's eyes when he talked about him... That was all the confirmation that she needed. It was the same pain that she spoke with when she thought of her brother, his wife and his two children. The children that she had always been close to. She could only imagine what kind of a time Sergei was having in explaining away her absence to two young children. But her brother wasn't stupid. He would have known that something happened by now.
Yeah... He definitely missed his son. And that gave Kira a whole new respect for the man beneath her. She had to give a small laugh, however, when he said that he would jump her Christmas morning if she'd like. That was definitely not what she was referring to, but she tilted her head up again. "You planning on keeping me around that long?" She arched a brow. He told her that his son was back in Ireland with a man that he now referred to as his father. Kira couldn't help but rub at his chest soothingly at the moment. That had to hurt. "Ouch..." She murmured with a shake of her head. She nodded when he asked if her family was still in Russia. "Da... And safe there for the time being." She murmured. Because her brother and his wife didn't know where the hell she was. Their ignorance would protect them.
"I wasn't kidding when I said that any Russian poses a threat." She murmured as she looked up at him. "And if you do plan on keeping me around for a decent amount of time... You should know, Kiernan..." She frowned a moment. Why was she telling him this? Was it the storm overhead that was screwing with her or was it the fact that she well and truly trusted him. Either way, she knew there was no one here to overhear their conversation. There really was no safer place to hold it. "I was a soldier for the Russian military. Specially trained in intelligence gathering." She sat up and let her hair fall over one shoulder as she looked down at him. "And when they decided that I was too good at my job and knew too much... they decided to terminate the program I was a part of..." She paused a moment, her blue eyes flickering to the bed sheet below them before back up to his eyes. "And me."
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Post by KIERNAN O'FARRELL on Nov 3, 2012 17:01:40 GMT -5
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[/style] [STYLE=border:2px solid #000000; width:380px; color:#5D5D5D; font-family:calibri; font-size:11px; line-height:90%; padding:20px; text-align:justify; border-radius: 0px 10px 50px 10px; box-shadow: 3px 3px 3px #9d9d9d; text-transform: lowercase;]Kiernan’s fingers slid lightly across her lower back as he shifted his arm to a more comfortable position his fingers ending up against her hip with his whole arm in contact with her. It could be accurately called a hug if someone were looking to find hugs in their actions, but he wasn’t looking for those things between them right now. They were having a good time enjoying each other’s company between the sheets for now no matter how much it bothered him to think about her just waking up one day and getting an apartment somewhere else. He could and would put a lid on his own shit when that day came so that it wasn’t an issue because that was the proper response in their situation. So what if was actually coming to trust her, he’d done that before and now he knew how to handle it when it fucked him over in the end right? Trusting wasn’t about waiting for the other person to fuck you over though was it? It was about letting them get under your skin and needing them as much as they seemed to need you…to those who’d learned the “do not trust anyone” lesson though trust became that connection of letting someone close and letting them see you unguarded and more hoping they didn’t throw it back in your face. You knew the risks and you did it anyway which he could say was what he’d been doing so far with Kira now.
Telling her about his son other than that “yes he did have one” was a step in trust, something he normally didn’t give people to use against him because that information hurt too much to start off with so giving it to someone else to turn against him just made it all the worse. He didn’t think she’d do that though since he could sense that she understood his missing his son in the way she spoke about her niece and nephew. Looking at her when she tilted her head he lifted an eyebrow at her question considering a moment before nodding, ”I wouldn’t be against having you here that long if it’s something you’d consider doing.” he said honestly since he really wouldn’t be which surprised him considering he normally didn’t have people in his life who stuck around for any great length of time. Her hand rubbing against his chest was more soothing than it should have been and he sighed nodding to her “ouch” agreeing highly with that statement. It did hurt knowing his son was growing up thinking of another man as his dad when he didn’t get a choice about being in Bren’s life or not.
Looking at her as she mentioned them being safe for the time being he frowned a little and shook his head. ”For now is never a good answer to safety…if you ever need help making it permanent I have connections and things that I’d be willing to tap for them to be safe.” he said knowing his Russian connections were limited but they’d know other people they could tap for his help though he’d owe them for it. To keep a family safe? To keep her family safe he was finding himself willing because he could tell she cared very much for them. He listened as she spoke about Russians posing a threat to her and nodded when she said he should know if she was going to be staying around. ”So tell me and we can make sure you’re safe here. Everyone deserves to have somewhere they’re safe.” he said seriously as he looked at her curious why it was she was in trouble from her own people. Hearing her reasons for why he studied her face as she spoke and nodded when she’d finished thinking for a moment. ”Then no Russians get into here unless you clear them and I clear them with my own check to be sure they aren’t here to hurt you. You’re safe here and if they try anything they’ll find out why men in Ireland still find holes to hide in when I’m allowed there for my yearly visit even though they know I can’t start anything or lose my visits.” he said wanting her to understand that he would do what he could to protect her.
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Post by kira on Nov 4, 2012 1:29:29 GMT -5
Thinking about what was going on between the pair of them was exhausting. It was far easier just to let things happen and let things just roll along rather than trying to put some kind of label on it. Kira knew the moment she started overthinking it, she'd start panicking and bolt for the doors and, truth be told, she didn't want to bolt. She wanted to stay right where she was both literally and figuratively. She didn't want to leave the safety of Kiernan's compound and she definitely didn't want to leave him at the moment. For the first time in a number of years, she wasn't alone. It felt nice. It felt damned nice. Way better than she wanted to admit to herself so, again, she just shut down that line of thinking before it could make her bolt.
She looked at him a moment when he said that he wouldn't be against having her stay there with him for that long. She knew that was one hell of a compliment and admission coming from him and she tamped down the swell of panic that the thought brought along with it. She nodded though. Strange that she felt the familiar rise of panic and yet, at the same time, she nodded to him and, without saying a word, had more or less given in to the fact that she wanted to stay with him. She genuinely wanted to stay with him there. Kira was more surprised in the moment to find herself agreeing rather than running for the hills the moment the opportunity presented itself.
She knew damned well that 'for now' was never a good answer. But who the hell knew what the Russian government and military would do when they grew desperate to find her. She blinked at him a moment when he told her that he had connections that he would be willing to tap to be sure that they were safe. She swallowed a moment and then nodded slowly, not sure at the show of emotion that overwhelmed her. He actually cared enough to bother offering... that was definitely saying something about the man beneath her. He was rough and he was difficult sometimes but at the heart of it all... he was a good man. A damned good man.
She told him the truth about who she was and what had happened. He didn't even seem to bat an eyelash at her for it and she actually appreciated that fact. She'd more or less been an assassin and spy for the Russian Government - never asking them questions until her own luck and, apparently, her contract, ran out with them. She blinked at him and the level of protection and threat she heard in his voice when he told her that she was safe. She wasn't sure why, but his words actually let the tension slip from her body and she relaxed against him a little more. Maybe it was the fact that she had finally revealed her secret to someone... or maybe it was the fact that she genuinely felt comfortable and secure around this man... She only hoped that she didn't live to regret it. "I like a man with a reputation." She murmured, trying to ease the mood a little bit. "You know..." She paused a moment, looking up at him with those bright blue eyes. "You know I would do the same for you in a heartbeat, right?" She asked. She needed him to understand that she wasn't just using him in the moment because he was convenient protection. She'd kick anyone's ass who bothered to come looking for him. Gladly.
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Post by KIERNAN O'FARRELL on Nov 4, 2012 16:00:15 GMT -5
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[/style] [STYLE=border:2px solid #000000; width:380px; color:#5D5D5D; font-family:calibri; font-size:11px; line-height:90%; padding:20px; text-align:justify; border-radius: 0px 10px 50px 10px; box-shadow: 3px 3px 3px #9d9d9d; text-transform: lowercase;]Kiernan knew better than to let his mind go hunting for reasons, meanings, or anything past the surface of what they were doing. He knew better because once he started thinking about it then his mind would find all the outs and reasons he should take those outs. He didn’t trust people as a general rule, didn’t do the “dating thing” as a personal rule, and kept people at arm’s length as a rule of survival. With Kira he knew he was failing on two levels at the very least since he was holding her close and trusting her. He didn’t get into the thoughts about dating her because that would be crossing the invisible line they’d both seemed to draw on what they were doing here. It was sex and a bit of fun and challenge with someone who could be equally dangerous so why complicate that by mixing in the “what are we?” questions at this point even if his mind was already mixing in the “how can I keep her around” questions he was trying to avoid.
She didn’t answer on whether she’d consider being around long enough for Christmas morning and it was probably best that she didn’t since that could potentially cross their invisible lines. Thinking about things like holidays together was surely over that line. She was welcome to stay as long as she wanted and he’d made that clear, she was welcome to stay in his place in that time she wanted to be there or in one of the cabins at the camp as well which was another thing he’d made clear. The ball on that part of things was in her court and she was the one calling those shots now because he couldn’t and wouldn’t tell her what to do…it wouldn’t work anyway she’d warned him. Another thing he’d done the job making clear was that even if this was just a sex thing or whatever he’d still help her if she needed it. He would help her family be safe or he would keep her safe within the camp’s walls. Either way he didn’t want her to worry and he would do what he could for her.
Her past wasn’t an issue for him, he’d done bad things in his own past so he couldn’t and wouldn’t fault her for hers. Everyone had things they weren’t proud of, everyone did things they shouldn’t be proud of but were. She was no different same as he wasn’t and in reality her past just made her who she was that day and that was what mattered in the long run. Her words about liking a man with a reputation had him chuckling and shaking his head, ”Even a man with a reputation for being born a cold-blooded killer who’ll put anyone six feet under for the right price? Because that’s who you’re dealing with these days.” he asked thinking if she could find the balls to tell him what the skeletons looked like then he could as well as a show of respect and a return of trust. Looking at her when she started but stopped a sentence he lifted an eyebrow then nodded when she finished it. ”Aye. I know. You never struck me as the sort to just sit back and watch if something was happening.” he said seriously not wanting her to think he was making assumptions about her or thinking he had to protect her from everything. She’d been clear about the fact she could hold her own since day one and he respected that. He didn’t doubt that she’d step up should something come through the gates at him instead of her because it just seemed her personality type.
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Post by kira on Nov 5, 2012 11:31:44 GMT -5
Kira had a damned good feeling that whatever was in Kiernan's past wasn't pleasant by a long shot. The man was the modern day version of what most people would call 'paranoid'. Kira preferred to refer to him as 'prepared'. And she found herself a hell of a lot more comfortable in his presence than she found herself in just about any one else's presence. And for damned good reason. The man knew his stuff and he knew how to keep himself and everyone else in the compound safe, even in circumstances that she wasn't at all familiar with. Hurricanes were just one of those things that she wasn't familiar with. And perhaps it was irrational of her on some level, but the prospect of drowning in your own basement just didn't sit well with her. But she believed this man when he told her that they were safe here.
God help her. That was a lot of trust to be placing in any one person.
She listened to him as he asked if she liked a man with a reputation for being born a cold-blooded killer. She tilted her head to the side a moment as if she were giving that some thought. "I maybe especially like those men with those reputations." She commented rather cheekily. "Because you see... while most of the world would see that... I know there's more to that cold-blooded killer than meets the eyes." She looked at him then with those same piercing blue eyes. "Like a father who loves his son very much. And a man who would protect a woman he barely even knows. A warrior and..." Her lips quirked up into a smile. "One hell of a lover." She admitted, winking at him.
She nodded when he said that she wasn't the type to sit back and watch if something was happening. "No. Definitely not." She murmured a moment, almost as if the admission troubled her to some extent. "You know... my family... my father particularly, was quite intent on the idea that any man willing to risk himself for the sake of another is a man worth salvation." She said, eyeing him. "It was both a blessing and a curse for him. A blessing in the sense that it made him one of the most incredible military men in Russia... And a curse in the sense that, I believe, it was his ultimate downfall when someone duped him..." She paused a moment, her fingers walking a path up his chest playfully before she placed one on his lips. "Call me suicidal for following in his footsteps but... When it comes to men like you... I believe he was right."
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Post by KIERNAN O'FARRELL on Nov 5, 2012 18:36:30 GMT -5
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[/style] [STYLE=border:2px solid #000000; width:380px; color:#5D5D5D; font-family:calibri; font-size:11px; line-height:90%; padding:20px; text-align:justify; border-radius: 0px 10px 50px 10px; box-shadow: 3px 3px 3px #9d9d9d; text-transform: lowercase;]Kiernan didn’t dwell on his past, tried not to think too much about it since it was behind him now but it was never far enough behind that he felt safe away from it. He wouldn’t ever forget what he’d done or what had been done to him, wouldn’t forget where he’d come from or what he’d become. His family didn’t end at a son he didn’t know that well or a woman who kept trying to replace him in said son’s life with another man who he wanted to stab but wouldn’t because that would hurt both his son and the woman. He couldn’t fault the man for being in his kids life, Morrigan deserved to be happy but that didn’t mean he liked being replaced as dad or being entirely unknown aside from small visits. What was his own fault though wasn’t that situation it was the one with his mother and sister, having cut himself off from them when he’d chosen to follow his father’s footsteps. He didn’t really keep in touch much at the time other than knowing they’d hear about his misdeeds while working and living in Ireland. Now he would only call when he wanted news about Bren without the argument from Morrigan about it. His mother had been damned determined to know her grandson and Morrigan had surprisingly welcomed that contact for some reason he’d never understand. He knew using his mother and sister to keep tabs on his son was a shitty thing for a son to do but he also kept tabs on the two of them as well and made sure they were safe and taken care of best he could.
He needed to stop thinking about Ireland, refocus back on the here and now instead of the past and things he couldn’t change, fix, or redo. He was here with a woman who was beautiful, dangerous, and closer to him than anyone had been in a long time and not just because she was using him as a human pillow right now. He’d told her about Bren, and about his reputation back home, she had more than enough to do damage now. Her comment about liking men with his kind of reputation earned a chuckle from him though since it wasn’t the common answer and he should have known she wouldn’t come up with a common answer to this. Listening to her though as she said there was more than meets the eyes with him though he lifted an eyebrow, ”There always is.” he said not sure what else she would see but curious about it. As she explained he looked at her studying her face while she spoke and wondering if maybe he’d let her in more than he thought since she seemed to see some sort of good in him. He couldn’t help a small smirk though as she added the “one hell of a lover” part and chuckled. ”You see more than most and understand it better than most too I think.” he said seriously knowing some people might see those things if given the chance but they wouldn’t get what else it meant like she seemed to.
He had known she wasn’t the type to just sit back and do nothing when something was happening so when she said definitely not he’d seen that coming. Listening as she spoke about her father and what he’d believed he had to wonder if the man was right or crazy since sometimes believing that could either lead you to a man who was worth it or a man who would screw you over. Hearing her mention it possibly being his downfall he nodded a moment looking at her fingers then back at her face when she spoke again. ”Only suicidal if you pick the wrong person or make the wrong call about who may or may not be worth that salvation you are talking about.” he said and considered a moment before speaking again. ”Some men do wrong because they can and that’s enough reason for them. Some do wrong because they have to and there’s no reason just a choice to be made. Other’s do it because they can’t see a different path or have been guided to that path by someone who had the power to put them in that position. I fall into that last category. I’m not saying that I did it just because my father taught me to…but I’m saying I was led to the path and chose to follow it…not sure if that makes me worth salvation or damnation but I’ll get what’s coming to me one day whatever that may be.”
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Post by kira on Nov 5, 2012 19:06:46 GMT -5
She smiled knowingly when he said that there always was more than met the eye. It was so true. One would probably look at the pair of them walking down the street and just see a good looking couple. But they'd have no damned idea the pasts that that couple had come from or the things that they had been through. Only the pair of them knew that shit and, at least as far as Kira was concerned, she doubted that there'd be anyone else in her life for a long while who ever came to understand half of the crap that she had been through, seen and done in her life. And that suited her well enough. It was hard enough letting Kiernan into that part of her life fully knowing that his life had been just as shady as hers had, if not more so.
She gave him a sad little smile when he said that she understood and saw more than most. "I guess it all just comes from living in the lifestyle." She commented. And it wasn't a very nice lifestyle at that. Though the pair of them could be claimed to working on opposite sides of the law in the past of what they had done, in the end, Kira's job had been no damned better than his and she was pretty sure, more than once, she'd been used to kill innocent men that had been framed through some sort of vendetta that the extremely corrupt Russian military system had going from one to the next. She wasn't proud of what had happened and what she had done, but she had to live with it now and that was all there was to it.
She listened to him as he explained what he thought were the types of men who did wrong in the world. "I disagree." She said finally. "Some men do wrong because it's all they know. Because they're blinded by following a path that they know no better of when they're too young and make a decision that they think is the right one at the time but winds up being the one that leaves a stain on their soul." She said, looking him right in the eyes. "That's the category you belong in, Kier." She said, hovering over him a moment as she watched him. "And it's never too late for salvation. Because if it is... well then, I'm just as screwed as you are." She commented with a small smirk before she leaned over and kissed him, unable to help herself in the moment.
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