Post by ROSEMARY CALDWELL on Nov 8, 2012 22:03:10 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; -moz-border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; padding: 10px; border: #000000 solid 0px; ] stuck in this daydream. [style=font-family: helvetica; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 6px; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center;]HALEYCAT FULL NAME: rosemary miram caldwell ALIAS: rosie, rose, mary, DATE OF BIRTH: 11.02.1993 AGE: eighteen OCCUPATION: florist arranger SEXUALITY: straight PLAY BY: gabriella wilde TOURIST [style=background-color: #65727A; border: 10px solid #65727A; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 10px; color: white; text-align: center;]all about me [style=font-family: wire one; font-size: 20px; width: 270px; border-bottom: 1px solid #65727A;] WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? “oh yea, rosemary is the name that I changed to cause miram was both too painful to hear and rather old fashioned for this day and age. I wanted to stay true to my roots though and picked a name that was still old fashioned so rosemary seemed like the best name that I found on that computer thing, took me hours to figure it out. but miram anne codwell is my original name, the one that my parents graced me with and that I respectfully changed for the fact that I was no longer apart of my community.” COMMUNITY? “well yes..that is what we called out little town, it was a community of wholesome, good people that taught me everything I was supposed to be. I was never meant to be a mother this young, that was the first thing and even worse that the child is out of wedlock just added to the disgrace of my own family and ..j…hector’s life as well. keep forgetting that he changed his name too, it was necessary though, and actually his name change allowed me the courage to change my own as well and fully separate myself from the community…regardless of my aversion to actually departing from not only the community but my ma, pa, brothers and sisters. the community that we lived in was a conventional amish town, we were not into the idea of anything that separated us from our family life. my own family was not a popular group, but we were known and we provided the town with milk from the six cows that we owned. my life circled around the idea of training me to be a contributing member to the community but I also attended school…it’s where I met Jacob…along with the fact that community was close knit and we used to see each other a lot. he was in my class though, it’s how the two of us got closer. the community was not the largest but it was a decent sized, and it was home…keyword being was…” WELL YOU DON’T SOUND TOO HAPPY “tell me, would you be? that’s the only life that I have ever known. it was home for me, it was safe and comfortable, my family was my everything because that was what it was meant to be—family is your entire life in an amish world. we relied on one another, cared for each other, believed and devoted our time to making each other’s lives well and I don’t have that support anymore. I feel as though I have nothing anymore because of a stupid mistake that I made….but I don’t regret the life growing in me, I could never turn my back on him or her…we aren’t sure what gender it is yet…I just know that it’s all I have left as the last line of communication between my child and my family. hector…Jacob…whichever name, has found a home with a nice woman who seems to be caring but she is not my mother, she did not raise me and I guess…I’m not the best tenant, while j-…dammit…ugh, hector, is. he is trying his best to show his appreciation while I am not accepting of this life at all. everything is different, nothing is what I am used to…the clothes, the ridicule that I get, the looks due to my young face being associated with al large belly…it’s all different, it’s new and it’s scary…” SO YOU ARE PREGNANT? “well yes…that is what the large ankles and slightly protruding stomach represents in this case. I am carrying the child of hector, a boy that I fell in love with…and now I don’t see why. he seems …I don’t even know, okay with this. he seems content to be out of the world that he once knew and cherished and embracing this new life with open arms and I don’t get how. ..it just, doesn’t make sense to me and it angers me that he is so accepting to forget about his old world, his family, friends, the only lifestyle that he has ever known and accept his exile as something good—it’s not good. I wanted to run away from the life, save my family from the shame but he wanted to get married and tell….and well, when we told, it was bad news for everyone.” WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT WAS SO BAD? “i’m here, that’s what is so bad. instead of being in the community, sleeping in the dark house, i’m in a coffee shop with a bulging stomach and dressed in itchy fabric that is apparently what is worn these days. it’s different, it’s scary and I don’t like it…change and I are never good friends, and everything in my life was static..until now. i’m eighteen years old but I feel like I’m fifty due to the weight of the world sitting on my shoulders…but I guess hector feels the same way….” WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED? “we went to our families first, and our families were…disappointed because the idea of marriage and a family come hand in hand and though, yes, we marry young…jacob…hector..and I were not married, we were just..dating. we were foolish and our emotions got the best of us one night and the result was the biggest upset and blessed moment. we live for our families so that idea of starting our own was an exciting one but we never really took into consideration what our families would say until the moment came. nervous and scared, we both approached them and…it just escalated from thee, I just remember everything happening in a blur in the yelling and the screaming that never seemed to end until the decision was given out. we expected something like getting rid of the “abomination” as the child was being referred to but the verdict was much more sever and the two of us were shunned.” WHAT DOES SHUNNED MEAN? “it’s the drastic measure, the last straw after several warnings which was the choice to get rid of the baby before it grew into a life, which would be murder in the lord’s eyes. I wouldn’t do it and I know Jacob..dammit again! hector…didn’t want to either. he seemed okay with the idea of being a father and I was okay with the idea of letting him…then, but the decision changed everything. being shunned means exile, losing contact with the life that you once more, it was the last resort that was given after many attempts to convince us to get rid of the baby…but we stood strong but I never, ever thought that they would shun us from the community.” WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? “well…as a girl, education was important but it was not important enough after about grade 8 or 9 as we were more taught to be homemakers than anything. I’m not much use at the moment in the terms of cleaning and cooking as I’m 5 months pregnant and I’m slowing down—something that I hate doing. I hate slacking because my entire life has always been about being the wife…and I’m nothing now. hector wanted to get married, he really did but I saw and I still see no point in the decision to unite us…not even sure what we are now.” YOU DON’T’ SEEM SURE OF ANYTHING. SO WHAT ABOUT YOU AND HECTOR? “strangers…or that is what it feels like. I feel like a stranger in my own body and that means that any attachment is the same way. I feel a little bad but I’m so hot and cold because of the anger, guilt and the hormones that I have raging through me all the time. I’m so conflicted about who I am and what I’m meant to be now that I have no idea about this new life. that box…took me almost an hour to even turn it on..it’s too different, it’s not normal for me. the old lady gave me a portable phone to use in case of emergencies, it’s still sitting on my nightstand, um…uncharged I think is the correct term and unused. I don’t want this life…and I want one with hector..i really do but not in this world, not in this way.” ARE YOU WORKING? “kind of. I do retail at this store…kind of just hang out, answer questions since that cashier is just far too confusing for me to use since it’s all tech-like. I can’t even figure out how to open the drawer and make money, though I’m good at math so making change is easy. I also help at a flower shop because…well, it’s a maternal instinct kind of thing that interests me with the working of flowers, I just make the arrangements which allows me to be creative cause I’ve always had a bit of an artistic mind…but besides that, not really. I clean around the apartment though, avoiding most things just incase I break them, but I cook too when dinner time comes and I try and put my training into use…in this new, scary world” [/style][/style] |
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