you should have been here // ashton

[ROSA BRENNAN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400px,true][atrb=style, background-color: transparent;] [/style] ashton grande , 1018 words , wearing hospital gown, meep [/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align:center;]And what do you do when the one Who means the most to you

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=style,height: 50px;] rosa groaned unhappily at the ringing of her cell phone. the distinct ring tone was solely reserved for one person and one person only. the wicked witch of the west. her boss had been calling her all week, but she had been feeling like shit ever since hurricane melissa had struck. the first couple of days after she was sent to the hospital had been slightly hazy due to the morphine. but her mind was clearing up now considering they weren't giving her as much morphine for the broken leg. her boss was probably more than livid considering she had ignored all thirty eight calls she had received since first woke up at the hospital. you couldn't really blame the girl though. it had been a god awful week for her, and the last thing she needed was a bitching from her boss. still, she knew she should pick up some time soon, otherwise she can bet her ass that it was going to get fired. she sighed, rubbing her tired face as she sat up on her hospital bed, grabbing the phone from the table next to her. she inhaled deeply, mentally preparing herself for a lot of yelling from the other end of the phone. much to her surprise though, it wasn't the yelling that she was expecting. in fact, it sounded a lot like worry to her. which couldn't be because her boss was famous for being the ice queen. and yet, her boss was exclaiming how ro had almost given her a heart attack, saying she heard about the hurricane and being worried sick. after a good hour and a half, she had managed to reassure her boss that she was fine and that she wasn't hurt all that bad. just a concussion and broken leg. no big deal. it was only a matter of time before she was up and running to finish that article. she dropped the phone in her lap as the call ended, leaning backwards and purposely slamming her head against the wall. however, she immediately regretted her action when her vision swam and her head throbbed from the concussion. okay, that wasn't a smart idea, but she had to mentally curse her boss again for assigning her to this article. of all things in the world, she had to make her write an article on ashton's deepest darkest secret. she didn't know what to make with the situation between her and her ex. when she had been trapped under that roof after the storm hit, he had been the first one there. he had stayed with her despite the fact that she kept telling him to leave because it was what he was best at. and yet, he had stayed. although she was sure it was much to both of their displeasure because his presence only caused more fighting between the two of them. it was ironic how well they had gotten along with one another back then. but now, now they couldn't even hold a single civil conversation. still, he had seemed awfully surprised to hear that his parents had forced her to get an abortion. in fact, he seemed.... shocked, like he had no idea that rosa had to suffer losing her child because his parents made her. they didn't say much more after that though because other firefighters had arrived at that point and gotten her from under the roof before sending her into the ambulance. that was the last she had heard of or seen him. it had been a week ago. was he sorry? more importantly, did he seem sincere? even she had to admit to herself that ashton really did seem to mean it when he kept saying he was sorry and that he had no idea. but then the bitter part of her told her not to believe his lies. "don't be foolish" it kept saying. "don't fall for that shit again, you'll only get hurt more." it added as if she didn't already know that. but she couldn't deny what she saw. she had seen the way he looked. he seemed genuine. she couldn't be that heartless to not give him the benefit of the doubt. she sighed, genuine or not though, she still had to do the article for the sake of her job and the kids. a big part of her just wanted to put their story on the article and use another girl's name. pretend it wasn't her. but then... it didn't sit well with rosa. that was betrayal. that was like stabbing ashton in the back. it was immoral. no matter how awful he made her feel. no matter how much pain he had caused her, she couldn't possible do something unethical. still, if she told their story, her job would be done. she would get paid loads of money for it. she knew her boss would be in love with the article because she was a sucker for such big gossip like this. her boss would praise her for the job well done. it would be her ticket to do articles she actually wants to do. her boss would give her one hell of a reference. but that was selfish. that was like selling her soul to the devil for immortality. not to mention the fact that ashton would hate her. and while he drove her up a wall constantly, and ripped her heart to shreds, she would never hate him. couldn't hate him, more like. and she would never want him to hate her either. she sighed, cursing the gods for toying with her life. they seemed to be keen on making her life a miserable hell. she was grumbling to herself like a madwoman until she heard a knock on the door. she looked at her closed door, "come in!" she called out to the person on the other side of the door. she would have opened it herself if it weren't for the fact that her leg was in a cast and took her five million years just to get out of bed. [STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align: center;]Is the one who didn't show? You should've been here. [/style]

[ASHTON GRANDE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: #999999; width:450px; height:470px; padding:0px;] [style=width:400px; height:200px; opacity: 0.8; font-family: times; background: url(http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/4435/e2bnkvgbw4.jpg)][style=width: 270px; height:100px; background: transparent; float: right; letter-spacing: 4px; font-size:12px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #333333; line-height: 25%;] TELL ME WHAT YOU FIND WHEN YOU READ MY MIND [style=width: 200px; float: right; background: transparent; text-align; justify; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:5px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 0px 0px 0px #111111; line-height: 80%;]the good old days, the honest man, the restless heart, the promised land, a subtle kiss that no one sees, a broken wrist and a big trapeze. oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind 'cause I don't shine if you don't shine.

[/color][/style][/style]

[style=text-align:center; text-size: 9px;]WORDS: 1353 TAGGED: rosa!
NOTES: got a bit carried away <3

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”pick up.” the tight words were spoken to an unresponsive phone as ashton paced back and forth in his living room over a path that he could almost see worn down into the carpet over the last twenty minutes. three calls unanswered, three angry voicemails, he was now on his final attempt before he was pretty sure he was going to chuck the phone across the room and shatter one of the large glass windows that had actually survived the hurricane. his father had two cell phones. one for work, one for personal business. the first three had gone to his personal phone, but ash was betting that he would have better luck getting a hold of the coward of a man by accessing his business phone. screw long distance fees, it wasn’t like they mattered to the grande’s. if his name didn’t show up, maybe his dad would just assume that it was a business partner, you know, someone important, and finally pick up.

”good evening, you’ve reached peter grande’s cell phone. what business do you h-“ ash cut off the woman before she could finish her sentence, ”megan. get me my father. now.” since when did he have a secretary answer his bloody cell phone for him? it was ridiculous. ”he’s… in a meeting right now, mr. ashton. you can leave him a message if-“ ”that’s bloody bullshit.” ash growled, glaring at the wall in front of him as he spoke as if it held the spirit of his dad. ”put him on the goddamn phone, megan.” ”mr. ashton, he’s a very busy ma-“ ”i’m his son, your future boss, and i assure you that i can be ten times more terrifying than he is if you piss me off. now give the bastard the phone. now.” silence fell on the other end of the line. he could hear shuffling as she secretary moved, and then muffled voices on the other end, the higher one being megan’s and the lower one’s being his father. later ash would probably feel bad about being so rude to the poor secretary, she was a year younger than he was and simply because of the status of his family he probably terrified the hell out of the poor girl, but he didn’t have the patience to deal with his father, probably seeing his multiple calls and angry voice mails on his personal phone, avoiding him.

the noises on the other end of the line ended and for a few ‘blissful’ seconds there was silence. then the silence stretched too long. ”dad.” there was a sigh on the other end of the line, a heavy intake of breath from the man on the other end who had apparently been holding the phone to his ear in silence hoping ash just forgot about him or something. ”i’m in a meeting, ashton. i don’t have the ti-“ ”make time and cut the crap. you’re not in a meeting.” ”…what do you want, ash?” ”some honesty would be nice, but i guess that’s too much to ask for with our family.” "what the hell are you talking about?" the phone in his hand was shaking, tremors originating from his entire body making it hard to keep the thing in his grip. maybe it was the stress of the hurricane, of being awake for over forty-eight hours almost straight, of not getting even six hours of constant sleep since rosa's motel collapsed, that was making him so frustrated and shaky... or maybe it was just realizing that his entire relationship with his parents over the last seven years had been a lie.

"guess who's in america, dad? in town, actually. myrtle beach." the low growl of his voice was a tone that he'd never dared use with anyone before, especially not his parents. respect was number on in his family's household. listening to his parents. obeying them. doing as they wanted him to do. never, ever talking back... but now he really didn't care what years of conditioning should make him do. respect needed to be earned, not demanded. "maybe you'll remember her. a girl named rosa brennan? yeah. she's in town. i've seen her, and she's told me some very interesting things." the silence on the other end of the line seemed to stretch into minutes. the only reason ash knew his father was still there was the sound of his unsteady breathing. finally, ash decided to prompt him again, voice lower, almost emotionless, "can you guess what she told me?"

"...she shouldn't be near you." the silence was ash's part now as he closed his eyes, struggling to hold the phone in his grip and not chuck it away. "don't you dare. don't you fucking dare act like she is the one who's done something wrong." "i did nothing wrong." "no. that's right. you had one of your goons intimidate her on your behalf. that makes everything okay, right? after all, you didn't have any direct contact with the 'trailer trash'." the scathing tone was foreign on ash's tongue, but at the same time completely natural when aimed at his dad now. the elder grande, however, was apparently done just taking it, firing back in a voice greater than ash's volume. "she was, ashton. she is. her type shouldn't be associated with. you shouldn't have ever talked to her, let alone sleep with her. you let a game go too far." "a game? because she wasn't 'proper' she had to be a fucking game to me?" his hand not clenching the phone was in a tight fist. "you're so fucking stupid." "don't you dare talk to me like that, ashton. i am your father! "unfortunately-" "you're being an ungrateful brat, ashton." "no, peter. i'm being normal. i'm just not, for once in my life, siding with you and my mother." "i don't care how infatuated you were with that whore and the bastard, ashton. you will show me proper respect." "respect is earned, not given because it's demanded," ash growled into the phone. "and for the record, that baby would have been my family, too. go to hell."

the click of the phone shutting off echoed through the now silence room. ash dropped it to the couch, falling down beside it immediately after, leaning forward and placing his head in his hands. the shaking wouldn't stop, hadn't stopped since the phone call had began, but other than that ash was numb. he didn't know what to think, what to feel, what to do... too often such things in his life were dictated by what others said, what his parents had taught him to do or what they said he should do... so now he finally got the chance to do something based solely off of instinct. because he wanted to. it felt weird as ash, after probably a half hour of sitting there not moving, got up, went to his car and, after a quick stop on the way, drove to the hospital, carrying his purchase up to her room, waiting for the invitation to enter before he pushed the door open and rather awkwardly moved inside. he closed the door behind him, "...hey." the flowers he'd bought were placed on her bedside table before he took a step back, running his hand through his hair, totally unsure of what to say. "i, uh, know how boring hospital rooms can be when you're stuck inside them... thought i'd bring you something to liven yours up." a good excuse to come see her, right?[/style][/style][/center][/td][/tr][/table]
this lovely template was made by Arro from Caution 2.0.[/center]

[ROSA BRENNAN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400px,true][atrb=style, background-color: transparent;] [/style] ashton grande , 946 words , wearing hospital gown, blah, it sucks [/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align:center;]And what do you do when the one Who means the most to you

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=style,height: 50px;] rosa was used to people calling her names. she had been accustomed to them at a young age. when friends heard that her father was involved with a bad crowd, they called her a criminal's daughter. when they realized her mother was an alcoholic, they said things like the fact that she was probably conceived by mistake. when her father had been sent into jail for possession of drugs and dealing, they had called her a criminal by association. but none of that mattered to her. at least she tried not to let them bother her. because at the end of the day, she wasn't exactly going to school to make friends. she went to school to learn, to get an education so she could help her dad raise her siblings. but things went kind of south when he got sent into jail, and that just made her work even harder in school, leaving even less time to make friends. but all that bullying from elementary school and junior high did not prepare for what would happen when she got involved with ashton. she hadn't thought people could be that cruel, and that was coming from the person whom was raised in the slums. she hadn't thought it was possible until she met ashton's parents. she had been called many things in her life, but nothing could compare to the names his parents called her. they had said some pretty colorful things. they had called her from trailer trash, straight down to cheap whore. now, it wouldn't have mattered to her if it weren't for the fact that it came from the lips her boyfriend's parents. anyone else, it wouldn't have mattered. they were no one to her, but ashton had meant a lot to her at the time, therefor, his parents meant a lot to her by association. no matter what she did though, they just didn't seem to like her whatsoever. she tried being nice, she tried being polite, she tried being polite, and she tried being funny, but nothing worked. at the end of the day, it didn't matter if she was perfect. she had learned that the hard way. his parents hated the fact that she was dirt poor, that she had no money to her name. they hated that her mother was a drunkard and that her father was a criminal. every time she was within a mile radius of them, they would turn their nose ups as if they've smelt something foul. they hated the fact that she was dating their only son, and they had made sure to hire people to make her life a living hell. and when ashton had left her, it seemed that the worst part had only just started. and for a girl whom was pregnant and full of hormones, fear coursed through her body a hundred times faster. especially when it came in the form of two big men who could easily snap her into pieces by body parts. even if she had been less of a passive girl, she still would have been intimidated into getting that abortion. not to mention the threat that she had received. she had promised them that she would never go see ash again. that she wouldn't try to find him. and while, to this day, his parents scared the bejeezus out of her, her boss scared her even more. there was no winning with either situation. on the one hand, if ashton's parents ever found out she came into contact with their son, she would suffer the consequences, whatever they were. but on the other hand, if she didn't write this article, she would risk getting fired, and she couldn't do that because it was where all her income was coming from. either way, she was losing something. unconsciously, she laid a hand on her toned stomach, her heart dropping at the thought of what her child would have been like. she hated herself for giving into the threats so easily. she constantly blamed herself for being so weak. she was a killer. a cold blooded killer. it was a baby. a defenseless little thing that has done the world no wrong. and yet, she, with her own two hands, had killed it. the child didn't even get to grow, to see the world. it killed her to know that she killed a human being. she hated herself for it. yeah, she hated that ashton hadn't been there, and she hated his parents for making her get an abortion, but she, ultimately, hated herself for listening to them. she dropped her hand from her stomach as she looked up at the figure stepping inside her room. her eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. what was he doing here? she pursed her lips as she watched him settle the bouquet of flowers on her bedside table before standing around awkwardly. "thanks, but don't you think you're a little late? i've been here a while now and i'm getting released soon." she asked curiously, trying to shut of the biting tone in her voice. she really wasn't trying to sound bitter. in fact, she was trying to be civil. mainly because she had no idea what was going on between the two of them. were they suddenly friends now that he knew his parents made her get an abortion? or were they suddenly friends because he stayed with her when she was trapped under the roof after the hurricane? although she had to admit that she liked the flowers. she had always been a sucker for them. only because ash was the only person who had ever bought her flowers. [STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align: center;]Is the one who didn't show? You should've been here. [/style]

[ASHTON GRANDE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: #999999; width:450px; height:470px; padding:0px;] [style=width:400px; height:200px; opacity: 0.8; font-family: times; background: url(http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/4435/e2bnkvgbw4.jpg)][style=width: 270px; height:100px; background: transparent; float: right; letter-spacing: 4px; font-size:12px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #333333; line-height: 25%;] TELL ME WHAT YOU FIND WHEN YOU READ MY MIND [style=width: 200px; float: right; background: transparent; text-align; justify; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:5px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 0px 0px 0px #111111; line-height: 80%;]the good old days, the honest man, the restless heart, the promised land, a subtle kiss that no one sees, a broken wrist and a big trapeze. oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind 'cause I don't shine if you don't shine.

[/color][/style][/style]

[style=text-align:center; text-size: 9px;]WORDS: 1353 TAGGED: rosa!
NOTES: got a bit carried away <3

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ashton's mind was jumpy, unsettled, even as he stood in the quiet hospital room with rosa. he couldn't focus on any one train of thought- he kept jumping from his father to the past to rosa to the hurricane to the present to their unborn kid, and no topic could hold his attention for more than a second or so. even his movements couldn't seem to rest for more than a minute, his hands were fiddling with the hem of his jacket, his eyes darted here and there, he shifted uneasily on his feet... he was nervous, to find the simplest terms to describe his ailment, but more than that he was agitated, anxious, worried. he didn't know what to do, he just knew that he needed to do something and it needed to involve rosa. that 'thing' might be to apologize again, it could be to have her forgive him, it could be to pour his heart out of every little detail and inner turmoil that had invaded his mind concerning her for the last seven years, he didn't know and he didn't think that the answer would come to him in a sudden burst of clarity. thinking clearly had never been the young grande's strong point.

"thanks, but don't you think you're a little late? i've been here a while now and i'm getting released soon." ah... yeah. she wasn't severely injured, after all. badly, yes, but nothing life threatening that would keep her in the hospital for too much longer. ash might not have seen her since she went to the hospital, but he had checked up on her by calling the front office for updates, just to make sure that there was nothing serious going on with her. now it must seem as though rosa's well being was just an afterthought to him, though it certainly hadn't been in the far corners of his mind by any means over the last couple of days. he should have come the moment he'd gotten off of work, even though at the time all that he had wanted to do was sleep and then, well, talk to his father. it would have only been a day sooner, but it still would have been earlier. "i've been... a bit busy with work. it's hectic out there. i would have come sooner, but... better late than never, right?"

he felt so awkward, which made him more nervous, which made him move around even more. his hand ran through his hair again as he wandered to the window, peering outside before turning his attention back to rosa and leaning against the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets in an effort to keep them still. he was usually much better at keeping himself calm and collected, even if his thoughts weren't the clearest. you couldn't be from his family and not learn how to deal with being under pressure. often when his father made some big deal reporters would hound even ashton on his way around town back in ireland, looking for the heir's opinions on things. always in the media spotlight, it wouldn't do well to get flustered and mess up... but one-on-one with rosa his nervousness clearly showed. at least, to him it did, and once upon a time when they were together in ireland she probably would have been able to pick up on that in a heartbeat because she had been one of a handful of people that he could truly be himself around. years had gone by, though, and clearly they weren't as connected as they once were... maybe she wouldn't notice his emotions. "how are you feeling?"[/style][/style][/center][/td][/tr][/table]
this lovely template was made by Arro from Caution 2.0.[/center]

[ROSA BRENNAN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400px,true][atrb=style, background-color: transparent;] [/style] ashton grande , 1043 words , wearing hospital gown, i'm rambling [/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align:center;]And what do you do when the one Who means the most to you

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=style,height: 50px;] to be honest, rosa was unsure what to make of this situation. it was strange to find ashton standing there in the hospital room. she hadn't thought he would come visit her. mainly because if he were to visit, it would have been sooner. after a few days, she had just stopped expecting him to show up. after all, it was only a routine thing. leaving was what he did. not that she could hold much grudge to that anymore considering the fact that it hadn't been his choice to leave. being trapped under that collapsed roof had proven to be quite beneficial in the long run. they were able to talk about a lot of things that they would have otherwise kept to themselves. he had learned her story and she had listened to his. as much as she wanted to hate ashton for leaving her behind, it wasn't exactly his fault. his parents were the one who had sent him away. she should have known. after what they had done to her, she should have known they were behind all this. that they were the ones to send ashton far far away and tell him that they would make sure she and the baby were okay. she should have known that, if given the choice, he would have never abandoned her or the baby. but even with that in mind, a part of her still expected him to just go. it was what he did. when she woke up that first night at the hospital and realized he wasn't there, she had seriously thought that she wouldn't see him again. that the time they had spent while waiting for someone to help him get her out was the last time that they would ever see each other again. that is, until she grew some balls and went on with the interview. other than that though, she didn't really think she'd see him. but she was clearly wrong because there he was, standing in all his glory, looking better than ever. she had to admit, the past seven years has sure done him good. maybe it was the puberty that helped or it was his profession. whatever it was, it sure had made ash look taller, stronger.... rougher, if that was even possible. his jawline was more defined, his eyes spoke volumes, and his hair stuck out in all the right places. to say he was breathtakingly handsome would be an understatement. he wasn't as famous here than he was back in ireland, but she knew, for a fact, that he had women flocking towards him everywhere, clinging onto his every word and every action. and while he may have the face of prince charming, it was the little things about him that rosa had fallen in love with. yeah, the looks helped, but even if he had been turned the ugliest man on earth, she would still be madly in love with him. it was his personality that she fell in love with, not his looks. it was the way he held himself around people. it was the way he was incredibly loyal to his family. it was the way his entire face lit up when something made him happy, almost like he was a kid who got his favourite toy on christmas. it was the things he had done for her when they were still together. the little whispers of nothing and everything. it's the promises they made together. the out of nowhere kisses on her cheeks. it's the way he kissed her forehead after a bad day. it's the way he held her close, making her feel like the safest girl in the world. there were so many little things that he said and did that made him him and not anyone else. but that was the him she knew seven years ago. not this man who stood before her. she knew nothing about him. she didn't know what he liked anymore. she didn't know his pet peeves or allergies. she used to know everything about him. despite their short relationship, they had spent a lot of time getting to know one another. he had been her best friend, the one she turned to every time she needed someone to be there for him. she knew him like the back of her hand. now he was just a stranger. stranger or not, though, she could still pick up the tell tale sign of his nervousness. maybe some things just never changed. he still fiddled his fingers with the hem of his shirt. he paced around the room, unable to stick with just one place. or that he was glancing here and there as if the scenery had changed within the two seconds that he had looked away. she shook her head, "you don't have to explain anything to me, ashton." she had wanted to add "i'm not anything to you." but she thought better of it. it would have sounded incredibly mean, albeit true. she did not want to start another argument because it seemed that it was all they could do these days. they used to be talk about anything and everything. they used to talk for hours on end about nothing in particular. they rarely every fought and anyone that knew rosa knew that she was probably the most gentle irish girl around. while she could be a bitch if she really wanted to, she didn't have the same fiery temper that almost all irish people had. so the fact that all she did lately was fight with ashton was a strange concept to her. she wasn't an angry person, but being around him just brought on every painful memory she suffered. she couldn't tell him how many night she spent crying herself to sleep. she couldn't tell him how many work shifts she purposely took on just so she wouldn't think about him. she nearly worked herself to death, literally, on more than one occasion. she gave him a pointed look, "i'd probably be better if you stopped fidgeting and moving around for the sake of my concussion." she muttered, rubbing at her temples as if to prove her point. "why are you so nervous anyway?" [STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align: center;]Is the one who didn't show? You should've been here. [/style]

[ASHTON GRANDE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: #999999; width:450px; height:470px; padding:0px;] [style=width:400px; height:200px; opacity: 0.8; font-family: times; background: url(http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/4435/e2bnkvgbw4.jpg)][style=width: 270px; height:100px; background: transparent; float: right; letter-spacing: 4px; font-size:12px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #333333; line-height: 25%;] TELL ME WHAT YOU FIND WHEN YOU READ MY MIND [style=width: 200px; float: right; background: transparent; text-align; justify; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:5px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 0px 0px 0px #111111; line-height: 80%;]the good old days, the honest man, the restless heart, the promised land, a subtle kiss that no one sees, a broken wrist and a big trapeze. oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind 'cause I don't shine if you don't shine.

[/color][/style][/style]

[style=text-align:center; text-size: 9px;]WORDS: 1164 TAGGED: rosa!
NOTES: got a bit carried away <3

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it was probably incredibly selfish of ash to do what he was doing. he really should just leave rosa alone. his existence had caused her enough misery already, she deserved to be allowed to move on with her life without his presence around her, even randomly popping up as he was, to be a constant reminder of his past and what he’d done to her, though indirectly for most things. if she asked him to stay away from her, now that everything was explained, he was 75% sure that he would listen to her request and never bother her again. myrtle beach was a large city, after all. it shouldn’t be too hard to avoid her. but until that time came, ashton was pretty much doomed when it came to his impulses connected to rosa. he couldn’t even remember deciding to come down to the hospital to see her. one second he had been seething after getting off of the phone, the next he’d had the flowers and was asking where her room was. conscious decisions to stay away from her had to overrule unconscious impulses to be near her though, right? at least, that would be his hope if rosa demanded he stay away, because he really didn’t want to then get into another fight with her when their paths crossed again by some action of his doing.

the years had definitely treated ash well, though he hadn’t exactly been an ugly duckling at any point in his life. his mother had been a supermodel, for pete’s sake, and despite what the stereotype of supermodels was she hadn’t just married his father for his money. in fact, a lot of people who knew peter grande said that ash took after him in looks, was the spitting image of his dad as a young man. the boy was blessed with the genes of both parents, and especially once he grew out of the awkward, gangly teenage stage when your limbs were too long for any part of your body, it had become apparent just how blessed he was. he was popular enough in america with the women, but in ireland where so many people knew his name and status it was even worse. his parents had enrolled him in a private school, which to ash basically meant a school of stuck up rich families like his, and there the girls had been like sharks. he’d dated a few, but they were so shallow and superficial that the relationships had never lasted long. unlike most of his buddies at the school, ash had never aimed to get into a relationship solely to get a girl into bed with little worry about emotional attachment.

his friends hadn’t really understood it, they’d constantly tried to push him to ‘get a girl!’, and finally one day he’d given in. well, he hadn’t really given in, but they’d been at a restaurant, a decidedly less fancy one than his parents would have liked to see him in but hey, he was with the guys. their waitress had been cute, unfamiliar, and between being seated and her coming to take their orders there had been plenty of perverted jabs by his friends about what they’d like to do with her, before the conversation shifted to getting ash a girl, even if just for one night. eventually ash had given in, thinking hell, what was one day of making himself look like a douchebag? he wouldn’t take it as far as his friends wanted him to, but he could make one crack at her and let the girl fall from his mind once he left the restaurant. so when rosa had returned, he’d placed his order ‘-food- and –drink- and your number, please’, all accompanied by a grin. his friends had laughed, made their inappropriate remarks, but the table had gone silent when she’d actually given it to him and, once getting home and debating a little while, he’d actually texted her… and the rest was history. rosa had always been far different to the girls he knew back then. she liked him for him, not for his looks or his status, the popularity that she could get from dating him or his family connections that some girls seemed to think could launch her a career in anything they so desired. she’d liked him for his personality, liked him genuinely, and that was probably why he’d been so head over heels for her, even if, as his parents had said after the fact, it was just puppy love.

of course, all of that was a moot point. they were over. done with. their relationship had ended suddenly years ago, and it wasn’t going to come back. ashton didn’t expect it to. time had passed, they had each changed, they were different people, and the past was hard to forget. he didn’t even know if he was expecting a friendship with her. he’d like one, yes, but that might prove to be too hard when being around each other would probably just bring up unwanted memories… he just wanted to try. try for something, he didn’t know what. he didn’t want to be stuck thinking ‘what if’ if he just decided to walk away, wondering if he’d lost a treasured friend or perhaps something more by just giving up.

"you don't have to explain anything to me, ashton." he shook his head, knowing what she was saying and where she was coming from, but his mind was on a bit of a different track. ”no, i do. i really do.” but then, he’d already tried his explaining, hadn’t he? waiting with her for backup to arrive, to free her from the rubble of where she’d been staying. he wasn’t really sure how much there was left to say, what else he could try, or even if she still hated him or if she ever had. "i'd probably be better if you stopped fidgeting and moving around for the sake of my concussion." her words made him realize exactly how much he had been moving around, and he froze with a bit of a jerk, eyes directed to the floor, hands in his pockets. he was making a fool of himself, but he didn’t know how to stop it. there were too many htings on his mind and when they all snowballed together the result was the very agitated heir. "why are you so nervous anyway?" he stayed where he was against the wall, only moving his face so that he could look at her with a slight shrug. ”i… i don’t know. it’s been a busy week. month. whatever amount of time you want to put in for ‘x’. i guess i’ve just… got a lot on my mind.” he tried to force the serious expression on his face into a slight smile, or at least a less stony look, for her benefit. ”you never really answered my question.”
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this lovely template was made by Arro from Caution 2.0.[/center]

[ROSA BRENNAN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400px,true][atrb=style, background-color: transparent;] [/style] ashton grande , 1157 words , wearing hospital gown, rambleramble [/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align:center;]And what do you do when the one Who means the most to you

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=style,height: 50px;] try as she may and try as she might, but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't seem to get him out of her mind. believe her, she has tried. from working herself to the point of ending up on a hospital bed, to dating random guys that she didn't have a particular interest in to begin with. she had tried to forget about ashton, desperately attempting to find guys that were complete opposites of him. she didn't want to feel the way ash had made her feel ever again. even the good feelings that he had given her. she just wanted someone who loved her for her. she wanted someone who wouldn't leave her because of her background and status. she wanted someone who could make her happy. someone who would stop the tears at night. someone who could make her forget. maybe her expectations had been too high. maybe she was looking for someone that didn't exist. or worst yet, maybe she had already found the one she was supposed to be with, but was left on the ground on her own. maybe it just wasn't meant to be. perhaps this was even her own version of romeo and juliet. they didn't exactly come from feuding families, but the grande's did seem to have a particular distaste for her family. they had fallen in love, met in secret at night, and did everything to be together. but fate had been cruel. it decided that rosa and ash could never be together again. she just prayed that she didn't have the same ending as juliet. she wasn't particularly fond of the idea of killing herself. or, really, the thought of either of them dying. for a short time, they had lived out their fairytale. it was no once upon a time, and definitely not a happily ever after, but they had a fairytale middle. their once upon a time had been a rather awful one. at least for rosa, anyways. she had to skip school for the last few days for a few extra shifts. the monthly bills had come in and she was a little short on cash. between giving money for her siblings to grab lunch, the groceries she had to buy, and the bus tickets for the kids to get to and from school, she barely had enough money to get herself food, let alone pay the bills. it had been a terrible morning. the breakfast crowd were relatively okay except for that one old man whom was rather rude and didn't tip, but the cherry on top was when a bunch of snobby boys in their private school uniform had come in. she had known from the start that she wouldn't like them, not one bit, and if they tested her already short supply of patience, it wouldn't be pretty for them or herself. she had even tried to switch tables to serve with one of the other waitresses, but they just told her to deal with it. she had already known what they would say as soon as she approached the table. it was typical, really. not to mention the fact that she's seen a few of them around before. the hour and a half had started with "hey baby, how you doin'?" straight down to, "do you do take outs cause i'd love to take you out for a ride." she had done her best to gain a little self control and not throw a fist or two their way. you couldn't tell that she was peeved at them considering the smile she was sporting, and the giggles she was forcing out of her lips. the only indication that she was having a hard time gaining control was how hard she was gripping her pen. she hated the way they degraded her, making remarks like that as if she was a prize to be won. she was no feminist, but it didn't mean she approved of the way they spoke about her, laughing as if she was some joke. she knew she had been pretty. she knew she wasn't ugly, but she wasn't particularly beautiful either. she was just pretty. she was average. she knew people were usually more drawn to her eyes and maybe even her chest. she was no stranger to boys using pick up lines on her, but all the waitresses here were used to it. the men that came by around here were pretty shady and would use any excuse just to pick someone, anyone, up. someone they could take home and have a good night. she had been so busy fuming in her mind that she hadn't even realized she was reciting her number to the guy who had used the cheesiest pick up line by far out of habit. her usual answer would have been, "sorry, my number is not on the menu. is there anything else that's on the menu i could get you?" but she had been stupid, her mind was distracted, and out came her number. however, she was rather pleased with the stunned silence from the table. from that point on, it was just history. their fairytale story with a crappy beginning and an even shittier ending. well, maybe not so much as an ending considering the fact that they were in the same room at the moment. it had been a false ending. their story was still being written. and she didn't know if she liked the idea of that. don't get her wrong, she wanted to be friends with ashton. she didn't think that they would ever be the same again. they would never be able to go back to what they were, but maybe they could at least try to be friends. she just didn't know how much this friendship would affect her. she didn't know if she could do that to herself. she blinked a few times as her mind directed its attention to ash when he spoke. she shrugged at him, "you don't need to; i don't expect you to." she stopped expecting anything from anyone a long time ago. the only person you could really ever depend on was yourself. she had learned that the hard way. when you start expecting things, you are only setting yourself up for disappointments. and she had lived a lifetime in disappointments. her eyes softened, "do you want to talk about it? take some weight off your shoulders and all..." she offered softly. there she went with her caring side. no matter who it was or how much she didn't like a person, she would never stop caring about them. she would never stop worrying. because that was just who she was. her whole life revolved around taking care of people, always making sure those around her were well. it was what she was used to. she raised an eyebrow in confusion at him, "what question?" [STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align: center;]Is the one who didn't show? You should've been here. [/style]

[ASHTON GRANDE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=style, background: #999999; width:450px; height:470px; padding:0px;] [style=width:400px; height:200px; opacity: 0.8; font-family: times; background: url(http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/4435/e2bnkvgbw4.jpg)][style=width: 270px; height:100px; background: transparent; float: right; letter-spacing: 4px; font-size:12px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 2px 2px 2px #333333; line-height: 25%;] TELL ME WHAT YOU FIND WHEN YOU READ MY MIND [style=width: 200px; float: right; background: transparent; text-align; justify; letter-spacing: 2px; font-size:5px; font-family: times; text-shadow: 0px 0px 0px #111111; line-height: 80%;]the good old days, the honest man, the restless heart, the promised land, a subtle kiss that no one sees, a broken wrist and a big trapeze. oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind 'cause I don't shine if you don't shine.

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[style=text-align:center; text-size: 9px;]WORDS: 879 TAGGED: rosa!
NOTES: got a bit carried away <3

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teenaged love was something that ash wasn’t sure existed. he knew that it felt real, but he also knew that so many things he had done and said back those years ago now looked extremely stupid and naïve… why couldn’t love be the same? he’d changed since he was seventeen. his tastes and opinions and ideas were all very different, and if, when he’d been dating rosa, he hadn’t truly known himself yet how could he even think that he’d known her? if he wasn’t comfortable with his own identity, why should he think that he had been comfortable enough to be in love with someone else’s? it had felt real, he knew that by now. every time she looked at him her eyes had captivated him, he’d blown off appointments and meetings with friends to hang out with her, disobeyed his parents and shoved away homework warnings from teachers because he had felt that time spent with her was so much more important, but there was such a thing as puppy love, and puppy love wasn’t true love. if the baby situation hadn’t happened, he and rosa might have broken up naturally. in fact, the odds were pretty heavily against them surviving any considerable amount of time. high school sweethearts usually didn’t last long, it was practically a law of the universe, and even if they hadn’t attended the same high school the stereotype still applied. foolish, immature teenagers couldn’t hold a relationship, and ash somehow doubted that a kid would have made staying together any easier.

a fat lot of good teenaged love had done them, though. well, he supposed that he couldn’t speak for rosa, but it definitely had done nothing for him. gotten him into an argument with his parents, gotten him banished to america, gotten him cut off from all of his pals back in ireland… all because he’d fallen for the an ‘undesirable’ that he might have fallen out of love with after time… though, who really knew. he would have been obligated to stay with her, wanted to stay with her because of the baby anyway. he had, and yet… thinking about everything made his head hurt. the truth was that he didn’t know how a hypothetical past would have turned out. teenagers changed their mind every day, and though ash definitely wanted to think that he would have been honorable if he’d stayed in ireland, he didn’t know for sure. people changed, situations changed, and paths changed. all he really had to judge on was the present, reality. that was a lot better than thinking of hypothetical’s… even if reality was completely fucked up anyway.

"you don't need to; i don't expect you to." he should shrug, nod, and let the conversation move on to some meaningless path that would end in him leaving the hospital within a half hour and possibly not talking to her again as she went back to ireland, or wherever it was she had came from seeing as he had never actually gotten the details of why she was in town. ”i’m done doing what people expect me to all the time.” there was only so much that could have been said while waiting for backup to help rescue her from the rubble. to be honest, he couldn’t remember the finer details of the experience, other than making sure she was still awake, that the shock wasn’t making her pass out, that he wasn’t going to have to make a somber phone call across the ocean to her family, who would hate them if they knew what he’d done to her. ”the thing is… i don’t know what to say, what to do. i just don’t want things to be like this forever, or at least until you go back wherever you live now. even if we don’t ever talk to each other again, i don’t want you to hate me.” for pete’s sake, once she’d been everything to him. and though, as he’d noted earlier, that could have very well changed in the last few years if they hadn’t been torn apart anyway, he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life, or at least many, many years, knowing that she despised him.

"do you want to talk about it? take some weight off your shoulders and all..." the latest thing to grind on his nerves and sanity… well, it wasn’t something he wanted to bring up with her. he might be pissed as hell at his parents right now, but one key point of his ‘nurture’, or conditioning as some might call it, was that grandes did not air their dirty laundry in public. rosa might not be ‘public’, but she was no longer a confidante, either, and even if she were, there were some things that could not be put beyond family. even if his father was a good-for-nothing-bastard, he was ash’s father, and loyalty meant everything to ash even in situations like this. ”i… i’ll be fine. something in particular’s just got me rattled right now. i think i just need to calm myself down. i’ll be fine.” "what question?" ”how your leg is. how you are. saying you’d be better if blank doesn’t really provide much of an answer.”
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this lovely template was made by Arro from Caution 2.0.[/center]

[ROSA BRENNAN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400px,true][atrb=style, background-color: transparent;] [/style] ashton grande , 980 words , wearing hospital gown, yikes, short [/style][/style]

[STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align:center;]And what do you do when the one Who means the most to you

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=style,height: 50px;] when rosa was still a child, she had believed in fairytales. from the prince charmings to the knight in shining armour on a white horse to the true love's kiss. she believed in love at first sight and that there was a soul mate for every person in the world. her mother was not the best of mothers, and even though her father's moral compass wasn't exactly always due north, he loved her mother with all of his heart. he often read her fairytales at night, and she would always be the princess in the story. she had loved that. what kind of girl didn't want to live the kind of life their father drew for them? she had grown up seeing that love in her father's eyes. she wanted that. she had always wanted that. she wanted the unconditional love, and she had thought she found it in ashton. she thought she had finally found the prince of her story. her soul mate. turns out it had all just been lies. well, at least for the longest time, that's what she had thought. but with her recent findings, maybe she had to rethink what ashton really was to her. because, let's face it, he was a lot of things to her. he was many things. he was the first guy she had ever fallen in love with. he was the only guy she had ever truly fallen in love with. she had seen other people after ashton left, but none of them ever gave her the same feelings that ashton had given her. they didn't make her heart race. she didn't get butterflies in her stomach. she didn't suddenly feel shy when they complimented her as if it was the first time she's heard them say it. but she knew that there was such thing as puppy love. she was so young at the time. barely sixteen years old. how could you really know if the person with you was your true love? how do you know if it's meant to be? how do you really know if they're your soul mate at such a young age? especially when there were so many people in the world? roughly seven billion. how could you possibly know who your true love was if there were so many people in the world you haven't even met yet? even if ashton had stayed and she had given birth to their child, it didn't mean that things would last. if she was being realistic, there was no way that the two would have worked out in the end. at least, they couldn't have possibly lasted this long. they might have stayed together for their child. but love fades. people change. teenagers grow up. you couldn't love one person your whole life. no one has just one relationship for their entire life time. romantics would only dream of it, but it didn't really exist. but who knew? maybe they would have lasted. maybe if they were together, their love would only grow. they would have their fights. they would have moments where they just want to shoot the other, but they would still love each other. people fought all the time. it was normal. but there was also forgiveness. maybe they could have been one of those one in a million couples. the kind you only read about in books. but that was the thing about maybe's. they were all hypothetical. they were all the possibilities that will never come true because everything was in the past. you couldn't change the past. only work for future. rosa cracked a small smile at him, "that's good; i'm glad." a part of her had wished that he had realized that earlier, but it was better late than never. plus, she knew where he came from. he was loyal to his family, and she could only admire him for that. how many children were that loyal to their family? he was as dedicated to them as much as she was to her own. and while she didn't particularly agree with his parents parental style of raising their kid, there was not much she could have done. she frowned, shifting on her hospital bed a little, careful not to hurt her broken leg even more. she shook her head a little, "i was really angry with you, betrayed, even. how could i not? i was pregnant, scared and alone. all i knew was that you promised me everything would be okay, but then just like that, you were gone. those were the last words i heard from you. i was heartbroken, but i never hated you, ashton." she told him truthfully. hate was a strong word. maybe in the beginning, she had hated him for a while, but it hadn't been a long grudge. she couldn't hate him. she couldn't even say she hated his parents. she strongly despised them, but she didn't hate them. they were only looking out for their son. but if there was one person in the world that she truly hated, it would be her mother. but even then, she couldn't hate her all that much. she was her mother after all. she bit down on her lip, trying to hide the hurt from her face that he didn't confide in her, but then she had to chastise herself. why would he share anything with her? she didn't have that right anymore. she was nothing to him. there was nothing that connected her to him other than their past. "okay." she offered nothing more. she didn't know what they were. were they friends or were they just two people who used to be in love with each other? she shrugged at him, "my leg's in pain, but it's nothing and i'm... i'm okay, i guess." she was always okay. when was she never okay? [STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 10px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align: center;]Is the one who didn't show? You should've been here. [/style]