Post by TEMPERANCE VERBIC on Nov 25, 2012 22:08:59 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px; -moz-border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; border-radius: 20px 0px 20px 0px; padding: 10px; border: #000000 solid 0px; ] stuck in this daydream. [style=font-family: helvetica; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 6px; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center;]ADDIE FULL NAME: temperance egan verbic ALIAS: usually just tem or temperance. DATE OF BIRTH: 06/15/1990 AGE: twenty-two OCCUPATION: student teacher, college student (education degree) SEXUALITY: heterosexual PLAY BY: miranda kerr UNIVERSITY STUDENT [style=background-color: #65727A; border: 10px solid #65727A; font-family: georgia; letter-spacing: 10px; color: white; text-align: center;]all about me hello, temperance. it's been some time since our last session. how have you been? you look wonderful. i've been great, thank you. i've had a lot going on, and haven't had the time to come in regularly. i'm sorry about that. no, no, it's understandable. i think you're in good enough shape that you can miss a few appointments. you say you've been busy; what have you been up to? university has been hectic. i actually got a recent job as a student teacher, which i love. for the most part. the man i'm shadowing is... different. sometimes difficult. how so? has he ever done or said anything to you? no, no. of course not. he's a good person, and he's a good teacher, i suppose. we just have very different... styles? his teaching methods are less conventional than mine. and? i don't know. sometimes we argue. in front of the class. you know how i can get- what was the word you used? i'm passionate. about everything. it's nothing. i have to get more used to having to work with difficult people, anyways, and learning to accept different standards and ways of doing things. this could be good for me. i think. that's good. positive thinking. other than that, how are you? i'm okay. the nightmares have come back. they're different this time, more vivid. describe them to me. i don't know, i'm not sure that's something i want to do... i'm right here with you. we'll figure out what it means. you're healing, temperance. alright. fine. i'm back in the woods, in the middle of the night. i'm running as fast as i can. it's crazy how realistic it is, just like the night it happened. i can't hear anything but my feet hitting the ground, hard and fast, and my heart is beating so loudly that i'm sure he's just listening for it, and that it will give away where i am, that he'll find me. and i'm scared. and then i can hear him behind me, just like i did that night, and i try to run faster, but he catches me, and he has his fist in my hair. i'm sore all over from running but i fight him, as best as i can. he's bigger than me and i can't hold him off for very long. then everything gets all blurry for a minute, like i can't control or figure out what's happening. all i know is that there is pain, and it's sharp and intense and unlike anything i've felt before. and then i'm bleeding and he's standing there with the knife. but owen isn't there to stop him. my brother isn't there pulling him off me like he was in real life. and so he kills me. and then you wake up? yes. that's interesting. are you afraid anymore? no. there's nothing to be afraid of; blake is in prison now, and on the other side of the country. he doesn't know where i am. everyone knows what happened to me, and no one would tell him where i was. he won't get me, he cannot get me. i am safe. if you believe that, why do you keep seeing me? i believe you're in a sound state of mind. i... i don't. i feel like something's wrong with me. like i'm some kind of freak. i don't want to be the victim, i don't want to be that girl. and these nightmares won't stop, and there's always this scar to remind me what happened. i try to cover it up, but christ, a scar from my jaw to my cheekbone? how am i supposed to ignore that? how is anyone supposed to ignore that? you can't ignore it, temperance. you have to learn to live with it. you suffered a rather traumatic experience, and you are never going to forget it. but you can keep it from controlling your life. do you understand? yes. and that's what i want. good. now, are you still playing piano? still play soccer? piano almost every day. and all night, when i can't sleep. i feel like i don't have time for soccer, which... i don't know. i played it for college in high school. sometimes, if i really can't sleep, i drive out to the soccer field. they never lock the gate. i'll just turn on the headlights, point them at the field, and shoot goals for a few hours. but piano is my favorite thing. why do you like it so much? we've talked about your passion for it a few times before, but never in much detail. it's calming. it takes my mind off of things and makes me feel better. i think i've mentioned that i write a lot, haven't i? classical stuff. it's just really beautiful, i think. not really a song, but it's emotion. it's all of my feelings telling a story through notes and... i don't know. it's just a way of expressing myself. it's my art. one last thing before you have to go, i did notice that you referred to owen as your brother, in the same way you call marissa your sister. well, yes. maybe marissa and i were adopted into his family, but i loved him just the same as i loved my big sister. owen never made me feel like a stranger, there. and he was there for me. just because he's not related to me by birth doesn't mean that he can't be a part of my family. but you don't harbor the same feelings towards your adoptive parents? i have nothing against jim. but christina was always so distant. i felt more like a guest in her home. and to a kid, that's a big deal. yes, of course it is. she never did anything, but i think that was the problem. she never did anything. i might as well have grown up without a mother, because she was never a mother for me. owen was a brother. jim was never there. we'll talk about this more next time. unfortunately, our session is up. take care, temperance. thank you. i'll see you next week. |
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