fallon , something keeps me holding onto nothing

[genesis]

[/style][style=width: 480px; height: 350px; overflow: auto; padding: 10px; border-top: 5px solid #003F87; border-bottom: 5px solid #003F87; text-align: justify;]Gen hadn't expected for the day to go as it had. Then again, does anyone really plan how ones day would go? It would be a miracle if everyone's day did go as they had planned, she knew she would have loved her day had gone without a hitch, without her husband coming back into her life. That's right, Fallon was back. She had been sitting in the local Internet cafe, talking with a couple of boys she had never really met, when all of a sudden, poof, Fallon was there. She looked around her, wondering if Dee was near by, just playing a joke on her. When she didn't see him, she began to panic and the chat showed it. She had denied Fallon's return and when she had finally convinced her she had really 'found' him, her panic turned into anger and began to argue with him. She couldn't believe that out of all the places in the entire country she had looked for the older man, he had been right here in Myrtle Beach the entire time. Gen shook her head and grabbed her pills from her bag and took a couple of them. She wasn't about to deal with this, she couldn't. The tears flowed quickly and heavily from her eyes as she continued to fight her husband through the Internet. Keep her safe? Did he think that was a good excuse for not even telling her he was leaving? He didn't need to say where he was going, just that he was. She understood that he cared for her safety, she didn't know why she needed to be kept safe, and it didn't seem like he was about to tell her, but not even a note? She couldn't believe this man, and it killed her to know that he was under her nose the entire time and she didn't even know it.

The conversation went on, as the drugs took a hold on her and she began to calm down. She was beginning to enjoy the fact that Fallon was back around, that she could talk to him, and maybe even touch him again. She missed him so much it hurt to even think of it. Of course she was still angry at the man. What he had done to her had shattered every piece he had ever picked up of her and placed back together, and every piece of her still lingered on the floor where they had fallen. She hadn't tried to fix herself, because she didn't know how. The only one who knew had vanished in the night, seemingly never to return to her; to never be found again. She hated Fallon, she loved him, she was angry at him, and yet all she wanted was for him to hold her again and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

Finally he was on the move, or so it seemed. He was coming to find her for a change, and Gen thought it felt nice. She was now the mouse in their game of at and mouse. She hated being the cat, she hated cats in general, and being one didn't help that. She was the one who wanted to be found. She never wanted to be lost, she would never have done, or do, what Fallon had done to her. As she waited, she couldn't feel time or space anymore. She was falling asleep in the chair she sat, her eyelids heavy with sleep. She knew that one of the side-effects of her medication was drowsiness, but she had never felt this tired before. She tried to focus on the conversation on the screen in front of her, but was finding it difficult. For a brief moment she could feel her body slip into unconsciousness, but quickly fought against it and won. She yawned and straightened her posture, forcing herself to stay awake until Fallon got to her. She looked out the window next to her, hoping maybe she could see Fallon approaching, but there was no such luck. The schizophrenic sighed and looked back at her computer, her eyes growing wide as she read what Fallon had written. He was there? Where? She looked around her frantically, searching for the man who had caused her such pain. She spotted him and smiled widely. He was more beautiful than she had remembered him, and even Dee, who was basically Fallon, wasn't this beautiful. She looked back at her computer and nodded. "Ready to go home?" He had written. Gen's smile grew into a full on grin and she replied. "Actually...Yeah." She couldn't wait to go home with Fallon. She couldn't wait to see him face to face, to touch him, to kiss him. She even couldn't wait to do other things with him, but she knew that that would have to wait a little bit. First, she just needed to look into those enchanting blue eyes of his, and let him tell her how sorry he was for leaving in that panty-dropping deep voice. Gen sighed at the thought and logged off the chat. She closed the computer's window that had the chat opened and stood up, waiting for Fallon to come in as he had said he would.

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[FALLON DAZEY]

Fallon had been going about his normal routine for the day. He’d fallen into bed about eleven in the morning only to weak up again at eight at night so he could get something to eat and shower and things. A quick shower and getting dressed for the night’s work he grabbed the cereal and poured himself a bowl sitting by the laptop. He’d check his e-mail to see if there was anything important there but there normally wasn’t unless someone from the bar couldn’t reach him on his cell or something. He had no new messages and nothing on his phone so he had to assume the bar hadn’t burnt down or run into any sort of crisis while he’d been asleep. He’d started work at the bar as its manager when he’d moved into the area, his job search had come just in time for the previous manager to end up in AA and needing a change of job so he’d slipped into the role and had settled in comfortably with it. He didn’t plan on being a bar-manager forever, one day he had his own plans of opening his own bar instead.

Of course plan’s changed and looking at the background of his laptop which was a picture of himself and his wife from their wedding day he knew it for a fact. He’d planned to never ever leave her side, wanted to be with her forever but he’d stupidly put her into danger’s path and the only way to fix it was to leave. She couldn’t know he was going or she’d be in danger still if they thought she was laying about him being gone and her not knowing where. He’d wanted to contact her so many times, wanted to tell her he loved her and that he still wanted to be with her and tell her where he was so she could come be with him. He wanted her there with him and to fix all he’d done wrong. He was just scared of putting her at risk again, of her hating him and telling him she was glad he was gone and to stay away or something.

Opening the chat a customer had mentioned the night before at the bar he figured maybe it was a way to talk to some of the people local to the area and get to know a few people. He didn’t catch it at first, but when he realized who’d been in that chat his eyes had grown wide. Gen was probably the last person he thought he’d run into in that chat and her being on there asking him why he’d just left and being angry at him. It had ripped at his heart making him want to just find her and explain himself, make it up to her somehow and have things be alright again. Having to guess her meds were taking hold when the fight wound down and she started talking about being sleepy he’d put in a quick call explaining he needed the night off for a family emergency. He’d not asked for time off since starting the job so the man who owned it had no issue with his needing the night off and he asked Gen to stay where she was while he came to find her.

He had grabbed his wallet and keys heading out to go find her once he’d explained that was what he intended to do so he didn’t just disappear again offline on her this time. The search was confusing at first since he didn’t know what she meant by spaceship and where exactly that was, not able to just ask someone “hey do you know where the spaceship is?” since that would probably get him some odd looks. Wandering around and hoping to get lucky and spot the place he’d done a few searches on his phone and come up with nothing. Giving in he got back into the box to ask for more tips toward finding her, knowing she could lead him on a wild goose chase and she’d have every right to do so if mad at him. He hoped that wasn’t what this was though and as she mentioned TGI Fridays he’d turned around heading in the other direction knowing where that was at least.

Making his way to the restaurant he stopped and looked around, eyes searching through the windows of nearby places for his wife and finally spotting her. He watched as she seemed to look for him and knew the moment he was spotted from the beautiful smile that lit her face, a smile he didn’t actually deserve but still drank in greedily with his eyes. Moving toward where she was he sent a message asking if she was ready to go home and her answer had him relieved that she would actually go with him. He signed off and tucked his phone into his pocket making his way inside and over to her, wanting to just wrap his arms around her and hold her close but not sure if it would be welcomed right now. Unable to resist he moved to her reaching out to brush his fingers against her cheek lightly amazed she was there right now. ”Gen…I’m so sorry.” he said, not the first words he’d intended to speak but so very true all the same.

OUTFIT :: DAISY/GEN :: DONE

[genesis]

[/style][style=width: 480px; height: 350px; overflow: auto; padding: 10px; border-top: 5px solid #003F87; border-bottom: 5px solid #003F87; text-align: justify;]As she waited, her entire body began to tremble. So many feelings rushed through her body and it was hard to handle them all at once. She was firstly, nervous to be seeing Fallon again. It had been so long and the way he looked didn't help much either. She felt like a small child around him, even before. He was so much older than her, and yet the clicked as if they were born at the same time. She was also terrified and happy and angry. She was scared because she didn't know where he had been, what had happened to him. She needed to know everything, and although she wanted to ask him a million questions, she would save them for later. She was happy to see him alive, and seemingly well, but she knew that he was worried sick about her, which in the back of her mind she understood, but she wouldn't ever let him know that. Lastly, she was angry at him. She was angry at him for leaving, for breaking her further. She hated him for that.

As she watched him approach her, she wanted to run. She wanted to leave. Maybe Cass was right as he whispered in her ear. "He's no good for you. He left you without explanation. He obviously doesn't deserve you." Tears welled up in Gen's eyes as she heard Cass' words flood her mind. She looked down and shook her head. "No. You're wrong." She told the voice. She looked up just as Fallon had come close enough, the tears still stinging her dark eyes. "He left. Yes, but I still love him. That's more than enough." She whispered her words, leaning into Fallon's touch, and closing her eyes. She couldn't believe he was back. She couldn't believe that he was real. He had to be. No one made her feel so much at once. Dee had been the man she was missing, but he had never made her feel. He had whispered words to her she had heard her husband utter throughout the time they had known each other. He had even reinacted memories she vaguely remembered. The ones that had been pushed to the back of her mind as new ones came along. Ones she believed that she had forgotten. It had been nice, but now she had the real thing. Or at least she believed she had the real thing. What if she was wrong? What if this was just another one so Dee's tricks and the chat had really been Fallon, but he wasn't coming. No. That wouldn't be right. This was real. It had to be.

Genesis opened her eyes and looked up at Fallon, taking in everything she could about him, and ignoring everything that Cass was saying to her. She couldn't handle him right now. He was one of her favourite friends, but right now she just wanted him to go away. She swallowed her nerves, and reached both of her hands up, letting her finger tips dance over both sides of Fallon's face, his jawline, his throat. She finally let them rest against his chest and took a step forward, realizing that this was indeed reality and not some cheap trick being played on her by one of her friends. She licked her lips and continued to look up at her husband. "You're real." She stated softly. A small smile broke out in her lips, despite all of the hatred and anger she felt towards him. She would deal with that later. For now, she just wanted him to be there with her, and more than anything she wanted to kiss him, but refrained.

She heard the words that came from his mouth, but didn't believe them. He had apologized online already and yet she couldn't forgive him. Not yet. She had hurt her more than she ever believed he was capable and that was where most of her anger stemmed from. She shook her head and looked down, focusing on the diamond ring she had wrapped around her finger. She moved her left ring finger from side to side as it rested against his chest and studied it, even though she knew every inch of it already. She just couldn't look at his face at that moment. She was afraid if she did she would either cry or slap him, and she didn't want that. She wasn't quite capable of it. She was passive and any violence was bad. She couldn't do it. So she left all temptation off the table and just looked at the ring. She nodded slowly. "I know." She whispered. "Lets forget everything for now. You're here and that's all that matters"

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[FALLON DAZEY]

Fallon didn’t exactly know what to expect seeing her again, sure he knew she wasn’t going to be happy with him for being gone and he knew she’d be beautiful because she was always beautiful in his eyes. He knew they’d need to talk, he’d have to eventually explain himself and he knew that conversation wouldn’t be pretty. She had every right to want to be done with him, he’d gambled away money and safety and still fought with that urge now. Other people did it and made it through he knew that but he couldn’t help feeling like he’d failed her big time, that he’d taken it all too far and that things would fall apart if it was all found out. He didn’t want to lose her, that had been part of why he ran instead of facing it. He had done it to keep her safe yes but also because if he hadn’t left then he’d have had to explain to her what he’d done and what was going on and then she might choose to leave him for good not just him taking off to sort himself out and sort out the problem by saving the money plus interest and paying back so she’d be safe and he could go back to her and fix everything if possible.

She was here now, they were in the same place and he was going to her like a moth drawn to a flame. He couldn’t know she was so close and not go to her, he couldn’t stay away when she was right there. He would figure out how to make it right and make her happy, talk her into forgiving him somehow. He needed to because life without her wasn’t worth living in his opinion. Genesis was his wife and he loved her and wanted to be with her, no more running and no more making excuses from here on out. He looked at her as he finally reached her and knew he would move heaven and earth to fix his mistakes and make things right between them. He could and would do anything to take away the hurt or sooth it. Hearing her say someone was wrong he didn’t think she was talking to him, and as she continued speaking his heart broke a little because he didn’t deserve such faith and love from her after what he’d done. He let his hand rest against her cheek a moment. Her skin was so soft and she was even more beautiful than he remembered.

When her eyes opened he smiled at her, it was just a little nervous because he would admit to worrying she’d look at him and realize he wasn’t what she wanted after all. That she’d been defending and missing someone who didn’t deserve her time or love and that would crush him. Outwardly emotional Fallon was to a degree, he could show emotion like a normal person but if anyone ever saw into him at what was going on there they’d question his masculinity because of how deeply he felt and worried and things like that. Staying still as her fingers ran along his skin so she could touch all she wanted his smile relaxed a little as she didn’t push him away or tell him to leave. His hand stayed against her cheek as she moved closer, his other coming to rest at her waist needing the contact right now. Hearing her he nodded in answer to her words, ”Yes I’m real Gen.” he said his voice just as soft and his he felt his heart kick up a notch at seeing her beautiful smile even if it was small.

Watching as she shook her head and looked down he was worried that something was wrong other than just the obvious, he wanted to crouch down a little to see her face again never wanting to look away but didn’t. Waiting to see what she’d say, if there was anything she would ask of him he made himself be patient. It was a skill he was good at normally except in gambling where he bet too fast without being patient and thinking about what he should do, which was how he lost money fast. Right now though with her he could be a saint’s kind of patient. When she finally spoke again nodded a little knowing that forgetting for now didn’t solve their problems and didn’t make everything okay for good, it just made it manageable for now and they’d have to deal with everything when they could both handle it. ”Alright Gen. For now we’ll forget it.” he said softly and paused only a moment to think before speaking again. ”You’ll come home with me right? I don’t…I know I couldn’t go home right now without you.”

OUTFIT :: DAISY/GEN :: DONE

[genesis]

[/style][style=width: 480px; height: 350px; overflow: auto; padding: 10px; border-top: 5px solid #003F87; border-bottom: 5px solid #003F87; text-align: justify;]The man she had once called a best friend continued to whisper into her ear words of lies and anger. It was as if he was trying to break them up; trying to push her away from Fallon, and she hated him or it. "Genevieve, what are you doing, hun? This isn't the guy for you. If he were, he wouldn't have left. He wouldn't have picked up and walked away like your parents did; your brothers did. No. He would have said something; especially if something was wrong." Gen's blood ran cold at the mention of her birth name. She liked it enough, that was true, but it reminded her of a time that no longer existed, and no longer cared for. It reminded her of when she was a child, though still sick, she was happy, and she had her brothers to thank for that. Each and everyone. She loved all of them, and they seemed to love her, until that fateful day where they turned their backs on her. They turned on her and left, just as Fallon did. She whipped her head in Cass' direction and stared at the man. He was tall, well taller than her at least, and dressed surprisingly well, in a dark pin striped suit and a royal blue tie. Over top hung a beige rain coat, something that Gen always despised, but he wore it none the less. At one time, she believed that he had been attractive, high cheekbones always splashed with a thin layer of dark stubble. His hair was cropped short, and his eyes... His eyes were what scared her the most. Once bright and warm, were now a dark violet, cold with cruel intention betrayal. She could never believe that she once loved a man such as him. She thought that it was sick.

Genesis pulled herself from her husband's grasp and faced her hallucination, not caring whether or not anyone saw her. She couldn't believe what he had called her, nor what he was saying about her husband. If she had any real choice, she would have stopped seeing him months ago. He had turned into her worst memory in a matter of days, and she was beginning to have fewer and fewer nice friends around her. The first to have turned had been Spots. He was a human-sized cat with a bad attitude, but she was able to handle him with a bowl of milk and a ball of string. You know, cat things. The next had been Dee. It was a subtle change, jealousy really. It was as though in the back of her mind that she knew Fallon was around, because the moment she crossed the city lines, that's when she saw a change in her beloved hallucination. He turned more affectionate, and more "look at me, look at me". It had begun to weird her out, and so she chose to ignore him until the moment she saw her husband walk through the doors to the cafe, and he disappeared. She hoped that he would be gone forever, but something told her that that wasn't going to happen just yet.

Gen's own deep brown eyes turned dark as she stared Cass down. She looked at him with more anger than she had ever felt in her entire life. More anger than she had felt the day her parents had abandoned her, more than the day Fallon disappeared, and much more than she had felt the moment she had seen those pretty blue eyes pop up in the chat earlier that evening. There was a fire burning in her soul and it was burning red hot! "Don't call me, Genevieve! And who the hell do you think you are saying things like that?" She told the hallucination, poking him in the chest as she spoke. "You don't know anything! You're just some dumb thing that my brain came up with to help me deal with my problems. You're not even real!" She had said it. She had admitted to herself that these people she was seeing weren't real, but even she still found it hard to believe. She had been told or years by the doctors in the hospital that they weren't real, but to her they were real. She could see them, smell them, touch them. They were so real that she didn't even know sometimes whether or not a new friend was a new friend, or someone she had really met until someone saw her talking to herself and asked questions. Once the realization settled in, she didn't much mind anymore. Sometimes she liked having new friends, and sometimes, like now, she hated it.

Blinking a few times, Gen relaxed with a sigh. He was gone. At least she thought he was gone. She couldn't see him, and if he was gone that was a good thing. She just wished that he would be gone for good. Something that was unlikely to happen. She turned back to her husband, wiping the tears that had come to her eyes in her fit of rage and wrapped her arms around his waist, and holding on tight. She was still quite angry, but slowly, just as her sanity had slipped away, it dissipated and turned to sadness. The things Cass had said to her, they hurt her, and she was way more than glad now to see Fallon once more. Bittersweet hatred aside, she needed him right now. She needed him to sweep away the ghosts that haunted her and to pull her into a world where her friends didn't exist and it was only the two of them.

When he spoke of home, she pulled back and looked up at him with glee. She hadn't really had much of a home in the last year. After he had left, the apartment the two shared felt empty, and she had no idea of how to take care of it. She hadn't much of an income, just the disability checks she received, and they weren't much for her to live on. Soon she left on her quest, using the little money she was able to use for buses and cheap motel rooms while she searched. Her entire face lit up at the sound, a grin spread wide over her lips as she nodded quickly and repeatedly. "My home is where you are." She said softly, hugging him tight once more. She wasn't quite ready to let go just yet. She was just happy to have him around.

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[/color] THERIGHTOUTFITOMGIHATEMYCOMPUTER[/center]

[FALLON DAZEY]

Fallon was one of those men who could be so strong some ways but totally weak in other ways. Protecting those he loved, making the right choices in most things, supporting someone? Strong. Resisting the urge to gamble or risk the dangers of gambling? That was where he was weak. He wasn’t good at resisting that at all and while it was a problem he was aware of in this case awareness didn’t mean able to be fixed easily or just avoided. He’d done good since arriving in the area, not going anywhere that he could run into fellow gamblers except GA meetings but he didn’t have to worry at those because they didn’t talk about who was taking bets so much as curbing the urge and doing better. He would get past that and get better, he would become the man Gen deserved to have in her life because he loved her and wanted the best for her, wanted her to be happy and wanted to be with her helping make those goals happen. He wanted to help her with the “friends” she had so that she could be free of them and he’d been helping before she said so he would help again now to make up for lost time somehow.

Watching her now as she pulled away he wondered what was going on, but was able to guess that she was hearing someone only she could hear right now as she turned to face nothing but an empty café. He wished there was something he could do, something he could say to make it so she didn’t have to face off against parts of her own mind creating people that she could see and that she talked to that were not usually nice. He hated seeing her upset over something that happened or was said by one of her “friends” who he considered to be more enemies but kept that to himself. Watching her as she faced down one of them now he shot a glare at the teen behind the counter staring like it was some sort of show until he looked away and got very busy looking anywhere else but at them. Moving closer to her he reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder lightly, he was proud of her for being able to admit they weren’t real and for telling them that though he did wish maybe she could ignore them and they’d go away that way. He knew it wasn’t that easy though so he didn’t try to stop her or tell her not to do what she felt she needed to do. He let her do what she needed and then he was there for her to comfort and calm if needed or to do anything she needed him to do.

Waiting for her to finish talking to whoever it was she was seeing right now he was patient as he watched her to make sure she didn’t get too upset. He would step in if it seemed she needed him to ‘snap her out of it’ or something because he didn’t want to see her get all upset and angry at basically herself. When she looked at him seeming happy/excited about the idea of going home he was glad since he’d been a little nervous she wouldn’t consider going with him to his place as “going home” anymore. Hearing her answer though he held tight to her as she hugged him and kissed her cheek without thinking about whether he should or shouldn’t first. ”Then let’s go home.” he said pulling back and picking up her things before holding out a hand to her. ”My place actually isn’t that far from here and neither is the bar I work in. Do you have somewhere you’re staying here that you want to go to so you can get some things first or do you just wanna borrow one of my shirts tonight?” he asked and waited until she’d taken his hand before leading out of the café eager to be with her somewhere it was just the two of them. He wasn’t looking to get sex or anything like that, what he wanted was time alone with his wife to talk to her and just be with her at all. ”Are you hungry? We could pick up something to eat on the way if you are…” he offered thinking he’d do just about anything for her.

OUTFIT :: DAISY/GEN :: DONE

[genesis]

[/style][style=width: 480px; height: 350px; overflow: auto; padding: 10px; border-top: 5px solid #003F87; border-bottom: 5px solid #003F87; text-align: justify;] She felt releaved.She felt as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she was glad. Actually, she was more than glad. She was elated. She was free. She was free from the man who had made her life a living hell the past few days. She knew in the back of her mind that he would be back again to haunt her and to tell her things that she didn't want to hear, or things that weren't true. Cass had never been a friend to her. In her time of need she had misinterpreted it as friendship, when all it really was was a manipulative man taking advantage of the situation and it made her sick. She couldn't believe it as the realization had come into affect. She couldn't believe what he had done to her. He had enjoyed seeing her in pain, and for the entire year she didn't have Fallon by her side, all he did was try and make her more miserable than she had already felt. She realized that Cass was the insanity behind the fragile line of her sanity and he was the one chipping away at that line until she took it back, and took it back she was able to do.

Fallon's hand on her shoulder had brought her back from the trance she had put herself in. She looked back at her husband, the simple touch he had on her, telling her that she need not worry. That he was there right then and it felt good. She had missed him being there, but the more that she thought about it, the more that she looked deep into those blue eyes of his, the more she remembered that he hadn't been there when she needed him most and it infuriated her, but she wouldn't let it show. Right now, she was just too happy to have him and as she wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight, she felt like the happiest girl in the world.

Feeling his lips on her cheek made her heart soar. It was the small and unexpected contact that caused all of her problems to seem to disappear. It made her remember every happy moment that they had ever shared as she sighed in contentment. She pulled away from the hug and looked up at him, listening to him speak. She did sort of have a place she was staying, but now that she had him there with her, she didn't want to go back; she never wanted to go back. She had clothes and things at the motel in which she was staying, but she didn't much care for them. She knew that she would be able to get new things and everything important to her she kept on her person, but if he asked her to, she would go back and get the things she had left. That was the only way she would. Otherwise, she didn't care.

With a smile on her lips, Gen shook her head and giggled. She enjoyed hearing Fallon speak, but she found that he was rambling a bit and it seemed to entertain her, but she thought that he was just excited to see her. She was excited to see him after all of this time as well, even if deep in her heart she was still very upset with the situation, but she would let him have one night. She would let herself have this one night. They both deserved it. She took his hand in her own as he offered it and perched herself on her tip toes as she leaned up and pressed her lips onto his own briefly. She needed the contact. To show her that he really was there and that everything that had just happened, everything that he had said had not been for not. She bounced back down of her perch, her lips still tingling from the kiss. "How about I steal your clothes and we just head home." She said, wanting to be nowhere except the new place she would be calling home. "I'm not hungry. Thanks for the offer, though. Unless you're hungry? Otherwise let's just get out of here."

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[/color] THERIGHTOUTFITOMGIHATEMYCOMPUTER notes:[/color] I tried, I don't know if it's any better though :/[/center]

[FALLON DAZEY]

Fallon was a fairly simple man to understand if you had all the facts, he loved his wife deeply and would forever, he was loyal to her even if he hadn’t been with her at her side like he should have been. He was a man who had addiction issues when it came to gambling and probably games too if he ever played them but playing board-games wasn’t something he did a lot of. He was a hard worker who stuck to his goals and knew the right from wrong in taking steps toward accomplishing those goals. He didn’t always choose right over wrong on the smaller details but that was true of every man in some way or other wasn’t it? Everyone did the wrong thing sometimes that was just a fact of life and a part of being human. His biggest wrong choice was leaving Gen and second biggest was ever gambling. He wished he could undo both wrongs but he couldn’t just snap his fingers and fix everything no matter how much he wished he could. He would have to work to fix both and they’d never be perfectly right either, Gen would always worry about him leaving again no matter how many times he told her and promised never to do that and he would always be tempted to gamble but the biggest parts of fixing the issues he’d made for himself were showing Gen he would be there and by never giving in to the temptation to gamble again.

He couldn’t say he’d succeed at his goals, couldn’t say he’d always keep them in sight and never give in to the temptation to gamble or scare Gen by being late coming home or being gone when she woke up because of some sort of work emergency. Those things would probably happen but he would work toward getting not needing gamble anymore and would always come home and comfort her if he made that mistake. He would be a better man for her. He would be strong and stable and there for her through thick and thin, for better or worse as they’d promised. He would never be perfect, but that was another fact of being human. No one was perfect but you kept trying to at least be good enough and he really would. She needed help, someone to stand by her side and help her get rid of the voices that hurt her and he wanted to be the man to help her, be there for her. He’d been that man before he fucked everything up and he would be that man again if she’d let him. He screwed up once, he wouldn’t do that twice.

Watching her as she turned her head to look at him he could see her coming back to him away from the voices that were tormenting her and he gave her a smile not breaking the contact so she would know he was right there for her. He was by her side once again and he would stay there with her to help. The smile that twisted her lips as he rambled and the giggle she gave lifted his heart, the combination beautiful to him like a sun lighting up the darkness he hadn’t known was closing in around him choking away all the good and happy in his life. She probably didn’t realize it but he needed her just as much as she needed him. It wasn’t the same situation but the need was the same, that longing to have her there helping him be stronger and better or to just be himself. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze as she took his offered one he really just wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let go. When she lent up and their lips touched in a light kiss he couldn’t stop his smile from growing as he listened to her answer to his rambling questions. ”Alright then you can just borrow mine and maybe tomorrow we can go get your stuff from wherever it is and if you need anything else we can get that too.” he said willing to get her anything she needed to be comfortable in the home that was now theirs in his mind. ”I’m not hungry, just checking if you were. Let’s head home.” he said leading her toward the home he would gladly share with her so long as she wanted to be there with him. ”How long have you been here? Is it really recent or have we been walking around just missing each other?”

OUTFIT :: DAISY/GEN :: DONE

[genesis]

[/style][style=width: 480px; height: 350px; overflow: auto; padding: 10px; border-top: 5px solid #003F87; border-bottom: 5px solid #003F87; text-align: justify;]Gen nodded. She figured now that maybe it would be best to get her things from the motel she had been staying in. She didn't have many things, a few dresses, a couple pairs of shoes, underpants. She wanted to travel light. Honestly, she didn't care much about material things. The only thing that she wanted was her husband back and now she had that. She had Fallon back, and she hoped that he would never leave her again. She didn't know what she would do if he were to leave her again. She would probably fall into a worse funk than she had been in, and maybe in the end she would kill herself. She wouldn't be able to deal with the pain of a second loss of her husband. She would no longer function and soon not even her friends would be able to occupy her already disfuntioning mind. She would be lost, alone and nothing and no one would be able to fix her heart. Not even Fallon himself.

Squeezed his hand, and followed next to him as he lead them home. All she wanted at that moment was him and the night sky that began to fall upon them. She looked up at the sky, listening to him, her smile still lighting up her face. She was more happy than she had been in a long time. She felt as though she could never be happier than she was at that moment. She had the only person who really cared about her by her side, the night sky above her and none of her friends were around to take that away, or to hurt her in anyway. She felt free and it was good, but she knew that it wouldn't last. She knew that tomorrow they would be back. Some would congratulate her, where as some, like Cass, would put her down for wanting to get back with the one man who had broken her again in the first place, but she didn't care. She wanted to get back with him. She wanted him to fix her but it seemed as the voices in her mind wanted the opposite, and they were doing all they could to make that happen.

Genesis shrugged, turning her eyes from the stars in the skies to the older man beside her. "A couple weeks, I think." She said. She wasn't really that sure how long she had been in Myrtle Beach again. It felt like forever, but she had grown up in the place, so everything around her was familiar and always would be. She figured she had been in the motel for a while, searching not only for Fallon sparingly, but also for a permanent place to stay. She had been giving up on her search for her husband, figuring that she would never find him until today, and now she had both. She had a permanent place of residence and her husband, and from that moment on, she knew that life would get better from here on out. She was sure of it. All she had to do was trust him, and trust that he would be able to fix her.

Gen stopped suddenly and rounded to face him. She looked up and into his eyes, the smile on her face fading. She felt as if she needed to talk to him, to let her know how she was feeling. She wanted to show him how much she loved him despite all the anger ands in she felt deep inside her heart. The schizophrenic raised a hand and brushed her fingers along his cheek, staring only for a moment longer before she finally spoke. She knew that she wanted to have this wait until at least tomorrow, but there was a hole in her heart where she needed to know what had happened and she was determined to find out, but first he needed to know how she as feeling. Gen dropped her hand and licked her lips. "Fallon, I know it looks like I'm not, but I'm very angry with you. When you left I was left feeling lost, insecure, broken, and especially depressed. These were things that I hadn't felt since my parents left me at that hospital in Phoenix. For weeks after you left I was left in our apartment, barely any income and struggling to do what you did with absolutely no help." She swallowed, tears filling her eyes as all the emotions she had felt on those days came back and walked her body. Holding back her tears, she continued her speech, her voice breaking. "Every day I would look at the door and wonder if you would come home. I had wished that maybe I was just dreaming and I would wake up and you would be right by my side again, there to comfort me and make all of the demons disappear, but that wasn't the case and when I realized that, my heart would break." She looked down at the ground and wrapped her arms around herself as the tears began to fall. She hated feeling this way, but she knew that this needed to happen. "When Dee came, you had been gone for two months. When I had first seen him I thought that you had come home. He looked exactly like you, and I wanted to believe that he was you, even if he wasn't, so I used him. I used him as you, but when I came here after months of searching for you, he changed and he was his own person. That's when I knew he wasn't real; that's when I knew that he was just another friend my mind created to try and deal with the loss of you." She looked back up at him, her cheeks red and stained with her tears. She reached up and took his face in her hands, never looking away from him. "I was so lost without you. I had no one. At least no one real. Why, baby? Why did you leave me? I need the reason. I need to know what I did to make you leave like that. I need to know why you made me feel the way I felt for so long. It hurt being without you, and even though you're back, there are still remnants of those feelings deep in my heart, and I'm scared that if you leave again they will come back and I don't want them to come back. I don't know what'll happen if they do; I don't know if I'll be able to live with them." She stopped. She couldn't say anymore. She had said all that she wanted to, and even as the pain made her heart race, scared to know what Fallon would now say, she felt a small relief wash over her, knowing now what he had done to her and how she had felt, and how she felt now. She dropped her hands from his face, but didn't look away. She watched his face for any recognition of what she had said. Any reaction that he held. Would he hate her now? She hoped not.

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[/color] THERIGHTOUTFITOMGIHATEMYCOMPUTER notes:[/color] I tried, I don't know if it's any better though :/[/center]

[FALLON DAZEY]

Fallon hated being the clueless husband who had no idea what his wife’s life was like, it just wasn’t who he was or wasn’t who he had been at least. He wasn’t the overbearing control freak type of husband but he had known more back before he’d screwed everything up. He only had himself to blame for what he’d become, for what he’d done to her without meaning to and she had just as much if not more right to blame him for anything and everything she wanted. He didn’t know where she was staying, didn’t know what she would have brought with her at this point, he had no clue how she’d been making ends meet without him…what he did know was she had every right to walk away from him if she didn’t trust him anymore. He didn’t want that to happen, didn’t want to lose her for good but he wouldn’t make her stay with him if she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He would respect her choices though he was hoping she would somehow be able to look past the screw-ups and see the man who loved her and just wanted to keep her safe.

Leading the way toward his place he knew the way well enough that not paying attention wasn’t really an issue which was a good thing since he was distracted by looking at her as if he was afraid she’d disappear when he looked away. The smile on her lips made his already beautiful wife breathtaking and he never wanted that smile to fade or disappear. He would spend a lifetime finding ways to make her smile if she would let him. He would need to tell her what happened, why he left and how badly he’d screwed up, she deserved the truth and he knew that. He would tell her he just didn’t know how when it was something he tried to forget daily because it was his biggest mistake. Getting into debt and leaving her would forever be the stupidest thing he’d done, he would never get away from it but he would always be trying to forget it.

Giving her a smile as she looked at him he nodded when she said she thought she’d been there a couple weeks. He could understand not running into each other in the town if it was just a couple weeks. ”Well I’m glad we found each other here.” he said honestly since that would never be a lie, he would always be glad to find her and have her back in his life. Genesis held his whole heart, she was his whole world and being without her had been just wrong but now they were together again and could take the chance to set things right. They could get things back to how they should be and even though he knew it wouldn’t be easy he was willing to face this head on so that they could be happy again and together.

Frowning at her sudden stop he turned to look at her pausing himself to see what was wrong and wondering if it was one of her friends again this time or something else. ”Gen?” he asked looking at her with a worried frown as her smile faded and reaching up to lightly touch the back of her hand as she touched his cheek before her hand dropped. Listening as she began speaking he didn’t interrupt realizing she needed to say these things and willing to let her get it out. It wasn’t easy to hear her talking about when he’d left and what his leaving had put her through, he hated knowing he’d hurt her so much but knew he had to face this and listen to everything since he’d caused it so he needed to know what happened to have any hope of fixing it. ”Gen I’m so sorry…” he said softly as his heart broke hearing her talk about wishing she was dreaming and he would come home, facing demons and how her heart would break realizing he’d let her down.

Watching as she wrapped her arms around herself he wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go, protect her for anything and everything and somehow send them back in time to make this right, to undo what he’d done so she never would have had to go through any of this. As she spoke of ‘dee’ who looked like him and made her think for awhile that he was him he closed his eyes against the emotions welling up inside him threatening to drown him in the self-loathing he was feeling for having caused this in the woman he loved. Making himself open his eyes again and look at her though he saw she was looking back at him with the tracks of tears along her cheeks and when she reached to hold his face he didn’t let himself flinch back out of her grasp though she shouldn’t be touching him. He didn’t want to hurt her more, didn’t want to cause any more pain and she deserved so much better than him but he was a stupid selfish man and would keep her anyway.

Her questions had him taking a breath as he tried to figure out how best to answer her, how he could ever explain what he’d done that cause all she’d been through. ”They were going to hurt you Gen…I couldn’t let them hurt you because I was stupid.” he said his words honest and filled with emotion. ”I was gambling, I was gambling a lot and losing everything and they wanted their money back and I didn’t have it…wasn’t winning it and if I didn’t get it for them they were going to hurt you or kill you or use you against me and I thought you would be safer not knowing where I was, safer without me around because they wouldn’t hurt you if they didn’t think it would hurt me Gen. So I took off and they followed me a bit but they’re not anymore and I wanted to go back but if I had you’d have been hurt…It’s…it’s a shit reason to do what I did baby and I’m sorry for screwing everything up but I never would have left you if they weren’t threatening you, I never would have left you if I felt I had another choice.”

OUTFIT :: DAISY/GEN :: DONE

[genesis]

[/style][style=width: 480px; height: 350px; overflow: auto; padding: 10px; border-top: 5px solid #003F87; border-bottom: 5px solid #003F87; text-align: justify;]She searched his eyes as she spoke, the tears clouding her vision. She was finding it hard to concentrate, her emotions were running so high. Having wrapped her arms around herself, she was shying away from her husband, despite the fact she wanted to just wrap herself around her husband and hold him close, but she couldn't. Not now. She needed to tell her story, without showing how vulnerable she really was in his absence, but she knew that she was doing a terrible job of doing such a thing. She heard Fallon apologize to her once more, but shook her head, casting her eyes down onto the ground below. "Fallon, please let me finish." She said, looking back up at him before she continued her speech. When she had finished, she wrapped her arms around herself for a second time, needing the comfort, but she was scared to seek it in her husband at that moment. She was scared of what he was going to say to her, and as he spoke she listened, becoming slowly infuriated with the response. That couldn't be it. Her safety? She didn't care for her safety. Of course, he did, but had it been so hard to leave a note saying that there was someone after him? What would they know of it? How would they have known that he had left a note? They wouldn't. At least she didn't believe that they would have. Genesis let out a shaking breath, and took in a deep one. She licked her dry lips and sniffled, the tears having ceased as her sorrow dissipated and her anger bubbled deep inside inside, taking over, but she didn't let it show. She wasn't about to take away what could end up being a good night.

By the end of his own miniature speech, she wanted to yell at him, to tell him that he did have another choice; he could have called her, sent a letter, an email, anything to tell her that he was alright, but it seemed evident that those thoughts had slipped his mind and she was left in the dark for over a year, but she kept her thoughts to herself. She would yell at him later after the initial shock of having him back left her mind and she could fight within without any sort of fear of losing him again, she knew that he wouldn't do such a thing. She now knew that he felt like shit for leaving her, and that he regret his decision. Gen unwrapped her arms from her middle and instead took a step forward, wrapping them around her husband. She didn't care where they were, or who would see. She needed the human contact, not only to help calm herself down, but to keep the reality of having Fallon back real in her mind. It was fragile, the simplest things able to break it, causing her to go into a state that was difficult for her to break free from. She hated being so delicate, but sometimes life threw curve balls, and hers was a hard one to hit out of the park. Closing her eyes, Gen sighed, slowly beginning to feel content with having Fallon back around. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, but she didn't smile. She could feel the corners threatening one, but she wouldn't allow it. Instead, she pushed herself up onto her tip toes, pressing her lips to Fallon's and kissed him hard. Nothing like the short kiss she had given him in the cafe. No. This one was different, more passionate, one that said that she was happy to have him back, and that she forgave him, because she did. Even if she wouldn't utter the words just yet, she did forgive him for his actions. She knew why, and although she did have arguments about it, she wouldn't fight him on it tonight. Tonight was about the two of them and a reunion that would make the world shake. She would love her husband like the night they had gotten married, consummating their reunion and the promise that neither of them would ever leave the other again. They would be together for the rest of their lives, or at least that's what she hoped would happen. She couldn't think of anything else happening between them. They were soul mates; they were forever.

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[/color] THERIGHTOUTFITOMGIHATEMYCOMPUTER notes:[/color] I tried, I don't know if it's any better though :/[/center]