Broken -- Jocelyn

[jacques]

This was it. It was do or die now and he was sincerely hoping that the latter didn't wind up coming into the equation at all, really. He'd been interacting with Jo via the city's chat room, but she had no idea who he was. He'd been damned sure to keep the one and only picture he had up as a small, dark and gloomy, nearly impossible to perceive image. It had worked out well enough for him, but he couldn't help but smile at his perceptive wife. She'd flagged him as something not being quite right about him in her mental database and she was like a dog with a bone. He wasn't sure if he was more proud of her or more frustrated with her.

But she'd given him a date and place where she'd be wandering around and he'd jumped on it. It would be difficult to pick her out in the crowd that was gathered on the streets, but he knew damned well that he could do it because he knew Jo so damned well. You didn't spend years of your life with someone and not retain as single damned thing about them. She was a workaholic and he knew that she wouldn't be comfortable out on the streets and in the scene like that. Not that he could really blame her... He sure as hell wouldn't have felt comfortable at all with that many people milling around.

At the moment, he was seated on a nearby fire escape, watching the people as they passed down below. He'd picked a good spot for its vantage and knew that he'd eventually wind up spotting her, if he remained patient. And sure enough, she eventually passed in his line of sight. Seeing her in the flesh was like a suckerpunch right in the gut. She was still just as beautiful as she had always been. He wished that the coming hours, days, weeks, months wouldn't be as hard as he knew they were going to be. But he knew he had a shitload of explaining to do. He had a lot to atone for and he fully intended on keeping her safe in the process. He closed his eyes a moment, hoping to collect his bearings before he headed down the fire escape and jumped the last few feet to the ground, waiting by the mouth of an alleyway for Jo to pass by him.

He knew he needed to strike fast and hard with her. She was no slouch and hadn't been when he'd been with her three years ago. He didn't doubt that she was even tougher today. Just as she made it to the mouth of the alleyway and he was sure no one would be watching, An arm snaked out, wrapping around her mouth, while the other kept her arms pinned to her side. In the hand on her mouth and covering her nose was a cloth loaded with chloroform. Not something he wanted to have to do, but something that he knew was necessary with this many people milling around. Pulling her further into the alley, he acted as if she were a girlfriend who had passed out after an intense night of drinking, pulling her along into the alleyway until they were hidden in the shadows.

And then he pulled her up into his arms and stalked towards the abandoned warehouse he'd chosen specifically for this event, but first, he assured himself that he had removed her cell phone and any other digital devices from her person. He was careful of her. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he had to at the moment, but he didn't doubt that she'd have a few bruises after the way he'd had to restrain her. The thought of that alone pained him more than he wanted to admit.

Once he was inside the warehouse, he set her up on a chair in the center of the room and cuffed her hands behind her, securing her legs to the chair with duct tape. He kept a pillowcase drawn over her head and the lights down low. He didn't want to scare the shit out of her the moment that she woke up and saw his face. He knew that this would still scare her and piss her off a great deal, but when faced with the outcome of her seeing him for the first time and realizing that he wasn't dead... He liked his odds with this tactic much better. And now it was just a waiting game. He took a moment to settle in on another chair on the other side of the room, as far away from her as possible so that he could resist the lure of going to her right then and there.

Eventually, she started stirring. He'd thought about the fact that she might recognize his voice but it seemed, these days, that he very seldom recognized it. The pollution in the Middle East and the life he had endured had pitched his voice deeper... maybe even a little raspier. He couldn't be sure if she'd remember the sound of it so intimately all this time later, but it was a chance he was going to have to take. He cleared his throat. "Welcome to the waking world, Sleeping Beauty." He murmured as he stood up and took a few more paces towards her. He wanted nothing more than to rip the hood off of her and show her who he was, but he needed to establish a few things first...

[JOCELYN THIBODEAUX]

Jocelyn checked the mirror one more time before heading out and climbing into her car with a sigh. She hadn’t been allowed to work all day and tonight she wasn’t allowed back on the grounds until she’d gone out for at least an hour which she found hypocritical since the man ordering her to go out normally never left the place himself. Passing Kier as he was climbing into his truck to probably head back up to his own house she flipped him the bird with a grin getting the same in return and laughed shaking her head as she pulled out of the camp knowing her key would by-pass the lockdown code once tonight so long as she put in her security code with it so she didn’t have to worry about being locked out of her place. Some would think it was weird to live where you worked but with the kind of job she had it suited her just fine and she’d made the cabin she lived in her own when she’d needed to get out of the apartment she’d shared with her husband. She’d find reasons to stay out, friends to stay with, or just any excuse not to go back where memories would haunt her all night after she’d found out he was killed in action so it had suited her well to move when she’d been pointed to this job and then given it after a hell of an interview.

She’d tried arguing the “I am social look I do what you do and chat online” thing with Kiernan when he’d said she was becoming even more reclusive than him these days but he hadn’t wanted to hear it and put his foot down. She understood that he was just trying to take care of her in his pushy way but she didn’t really need him telling her to take time off like this. Heading away from the camp she sighed and checked her phone real quick to make sure it was on ring not silent just in case something happened before tucking it back into her bag and turning on the music. She found a parking spot in an area she knew the police watched over that should be safe and left her car there locked up before she began walking as she tried to decide exactly where she would go. She hadn’t come out with a set plan on a location she wanted to be at since she didn’t really want to be out at all and had kinda been hoping Kier would change his mind about making her go out. When he’d called about setting up the gates so her key-card and code would work to get her back in after lock-down she’d given up that hope.

Moving through the crowd she was hyper-aware of the people passing by her and bumping into her from all around. She saw a few familiar faces both cop kinds and civilian as well as she went and nodded politely but didn’t stop to chat. She figured she’d head toward where the clubs were and pick the one with the smallest line or something. She didn’t realize what was coming until the guy had a cloth over her hand and was pinning her arms. Her eyes looked around for anyone who might notice as she tried to get free but she could feel her eyes getting heavier as her attempts to get loose got weaker and weaker. Realizing what should have been obvious she tried moving her face away from the cloth and whatever was on it that was knocking her out which she thought was probably chloroform. As she felt herself slipping into unconsciousness she was mentally kicking herself for not being more aware, not fighting or doing better than this because she was trained damn it and some guy had just gotten her without barely any fight on his end.

Coming back around she didn’t make a move at first, assessing the situation as she felt her wrists and legs were restrained, there was something over her head and she was in a chair. The sounds around her were muffled as she listened for something to give away if someone was nearby or where she was even since sometimes background noises could give away a location. Getting nothing she could use she lifted her head feeling a headache pounding between her eyes from what had knocked her out and then stopped moving as she heard a man speak welcoming her back to the waking world. The voice run a bell in her mind but not one she could place because while she was sure she’d heard it before she wasn’t able to put a face to the tones. She could hear steps coming toward her and hoped what was over her head that she thought might be a pillow case would be removed so she could see who was speaking to her. ”Nice snatch and grab job you pulled there. I assume you have a reason for doing this? So what do you want?” she asked wanting to figure that out first so she’d know how to handle this situation while she worked on finding a way to get free.

WEARING THIS :: MEL/TYLER :: DONE

[jacques]

Even if she wasn't moving, he knew that she was awake. It was in the subtle shift in the way she was breathing that gave it away, but he let her come to on her own terms. He didn't want her to clue in to how well trained he was to begin with anyways. But she was smart. He'd taught her well and whatever supposed training she'd had when he had left had done her some good as well. She was taking the time to rationalize and come to fully. She was keeping it together even when she should have been falling apart and he was damned proud of her for it.

He had to smile at her tone when she made the smartass comment about his snatch and grab. "It worked, didn't it?" He asked her as he watched her. He wanted to pull the damned pillow case away from her. She was frightened, even if she didn't want to admit it. She was damned tough, but anyone would be worried in this situation. Even he had to admit that he'd be a little worried about it all. "I know you have no reason to believe me but... I don't make a habit of grabbing random women in the dark hours of the day to take them to undisclosed locations like this." He told her simply enough. God. She looked good. But he needed to keep focused on what was going on at the moment. First, he had to reveal one thing... and then the other.

"Maybe I was lying a little bit when I said you didn't have to worry about me." He commented, waiting for her to clue in to the fact that he had been the man she'd been talking to in the chat room. "I have certain skill sets that make me... dangerous, I suppose. Or just highly protective." It wasn't a lie in the least. He was a dangerous man and the people who had given him the training that he had and the men that he had worked with knew how dangerous he was. Add in the fact that he had been acting on pure desperation and revenge for the past three years and you had one hell of a mean brew cooking up.

He headed over to a small CD player that he had positioned on a nearby table and hit the play button. Immediately, one of his old favorite heavy metal songs that she would undoubtedly recognize as the one that had driven her most insane while they'd been living together started up. He paused a moment, letting the song sink in before he paced back towards her again. "My name is Tyler Lucas Jackson. Initials TLJ." He said. "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet, Jocelyn. Maybe you're starting to get a little rusty without Jacques there to keep you in check." It really was the moment of truth.

After a brief moment of hesitation, he snagged the corner of the pillowcase and pulled it up over her head. He stepped back a little bit and blinked down at her. Christ... she was even more beautiful... He swallowed, his throat bobbing in time with the gesture. He wasn't sure what her reaction to seeing him was going to be, but he had a damned good feeling that whatever the reaction was going to wind up being, it wasn't going to be one that he'd wind up liking.

[JOCELYN THIBODEAUX]

Jocelyn was trained to handle all kinds of situations, both from being trained as a police officer and the training she’d gotten since going to work for Kiernan. She knew how to handle pretty much anything that would be thrown at her and keep herself calm and in control instead of freaking out. She was glad for learning these skills now, glad to be able to think instead of just panicking in this situation because that wouldn’t do her a damned bit of good and she needed to find a way out of here so she would be back home tonight. She couldn’t be gone all night or for any extended amount of time like that, not with who was waiting for her to come back. She kept a level head and tried to figure out what was going on right now instead of freaking out over how this could all go very wrong very fast if she did or said something wrong to whoever had taken her.

Hearing his answer to her comment about the snatch and grab she rolled her eyes though he couldn’t see it with her head covered like this. ”It did, congrats. How about we try your letting go of the person you grabbed technique next?” she said knowing it wouldn’t work but still having to at least try. Listening as he talked about not normally taking women like this she sighed, ”Then let’s not break your record? You let me go right now and I’ll just forget you ever did this. I won’t even look at you so your identity will be safe and we can both just go about what we were doing before?” she offered thinking it could be a tempting offer to a man who didn’t normally do this kind of thing so he could get away free of any troubles that could come of grabbing a woman off the street and carting her off somewhere.

His words bringing up a chat conversation she’d had with a man had her turning her head toward where she could hear his voice coming from as if she could see him though she couldn’t. ”Tyler? Right? Why are you doing this? Yeah I made some smart ass comments but seriously…” she said thinking she could have put a target on her own back when questioning him in the chatbox or something. Listening to his words and remembering the tiny dark icon he’d used online she shook her head a little, ”You don’t have to protect anyone from me, seriously I don’t hurt people. So what’s this about?” she asked hoping to just find that one answer so she’d know what the playing field was here between them.

She winced at the sudden sound filling the room adding to the pounding already happening in her head and then frowned as it became familiar. ”Does your skill set include looking up information you have no right knowing then? Because it’s not cute or funny.” she growled not caring if he actually heard her or not because she knew this song. She’d told Tyler about her husband who’d died and she was thinking now he’d looked into her and her situation to find information. He was speaking again and she made herself focus on that frowning. ”You never gave your full name, I’m not some creepy stalker I didn’t look you up after we talked. And you don’t get to talk about Jacques alright? You just stop right there.” she said not connecting it yet.

Blinking as the pillow case was removed she got her eyes to refocus and then looked around till her eyes landed on him then grew wide. ”Wha….” she muttered on a gasp as she stared at him in shock seeing the last person on the planet she expected to see. She had no idea how to react, no idea what to say, and no idea what was really going on here. Looking him over she glanced around the space again then looked back at him swallowing hard as her heart started beating double time. ”What…the…fuck. Is going on?” she asked her tone that deadly kind of calm that rarely led to good things.

WEARING THIS :: MEL/TYLER :: DONE

[jacques]

He had to give a bit of a laugh when she said he could keep his record by letting her go and pretending that none of this happened. Jesus, he hoped she never pulled that tactic in hostage situations when she'd been on the police force or it really would have been no wonder why she wound up doing something else altogether. Oh yeah, he'd kept tabs on her, but he wasn't entirely sure he liked the direction that her profession had wound up going in. The little he'd been able to dig up on her didn't bode too well at the heart of it all and he had to wonder just how this was all going to wind up going in the end. But he loved her and he knew damned well that he'd do whatever it took to make her see that he had come back for her and her alone.

She thought that he was attempting to protect someone else from her. It was frustrating to say the least. He raked a hand through his hair, trying to get his own emotions in check while he spoke to her. It wasn't easy to say the least. "Not from you." He said to her after a moment. "I've been protecting you." He said, letting that settle in between the pair of them for a moment. He knew she could hold her own, but he couldn't deny the protective instincts inside of him. He'd never be able to deny them. Even when she'd been a police officer and very much capable of looking after herself, he'd been there keeping an eye on her. It wasn't any different now. Christ, he just wished that there was an easier way to wind up doing this so that no one wound up hurt.

She was getting pissed off at him and he damned well knew it. But he deserved her anger, even if there hadn't been a damned thing that he could do to stop the events that had taken him away from her. He only hoped that she'd give him the chance to explain things in full. He didn't have to look up information. He knew her quirks. He knew what she had loved and hated about him. But they had just enough differences in their lives to keep their relationship interesting. He would constantly egg her on with his musical choices and despite the fact that he knew she didn't necessarily like the music she was listening to, she'd still burst out laughing every time he sang along and started up with the air guitar.

Christ, he missed her...

But he finally pulled the pillow case away and she was staring up at him with a completely stunned expression. Understandable given the circumstances. He swallowed nervously again as he watched her, the only sign that he was worried in the moment. And he knew the tone of voice she was using all too well. She was on the verge of a deadly pissed off rampage. He shut the music off. "Listen to me for a second, Jo." He said, crouching down so that he was directly in her line of vision. "The shit that happened in Iraq did not go down in the way that they said it did and I know you know that. Me standing here is proof enough of that." He said simply enough. He knew he needed to work fast before she threw up all of her defences and denied that it was really him. "We were married July 7th, 2004. Before the wedding I snuck into your hotel room and spent fifteen minutes with you before we walked down the aisle. No one else knew about that, Jo. No one." He said, looking her directly in the eyes.

He wasn't just some kind of fucked up imposter.

"I want to let you go, Baby... But I need to know you're not going to try and kick my ass until I've had the chance to explain. What's going on here... Has everything to do with Task Force Mercy..." He said to her quietly. "The Black Ops team that I was on when we were deployed to Iraq for the last time."

[JOCELYN THIBODEAUX]

Jocelyn knew her tactics weren't always the best or what was reccomended to be used by some, but she didn't care either. To her she figured using whatever she felt would get others if herself out alive was what mattered. With this guy she wasn't exactly sure what would work but she was willing to try anything till she found the right tactic. Hearing him laugh annoyed her though she didn't let it show, keeping with the calm and in charge mindset not the sarcastic defensive one since this would hopefully get her farther than that one would. She couldn't seem to figure him out and that bothered her more than his laughter because not understanding could get her killed and she couldn't leave her daughter without either of her parents which had been part of her choosing to quit being an officer and become a security manager instead.

She honestly didn't understand why he would feel the need to protect someone from her since she had no plans to hurt people and had no known issue with him. She didn't even consider he would be protecting her not someone else since she didn't know him or why he would worry about her safety ever either. Surprised when that seemed to be the answer though she frowned at that and shook her head a little, "You're protecting me from something or someone? Why?" she asked her surprise clear in her tone as she questioned that. It admittedly sounded a little creepy that a stranger was protecting her or though he should be, she was only glad he hadn't mentioned Emma since she didn't want her daughter on this guys radar.

This guy was messing with her head, he knew things she wished he didn't so he couldn't turn things like this song against her. The memories it brought up, the feelings and longing for the man who had loved it and sang along getting so into it she couldn't help but laugh. She didn't hate this music because for him she'd put up with it and because of him it had grown on her that little bit that was enough to make it tolerable. These data she didn't laugh but sometimes it could make her smile because it brought back good memories but then she would frown since the man himself was no longer around to remember with or recreate the memories with. She missed him every day, wished he would have not gone that last time, wished at the very least they would have brought him home to her since burying an empty casket was actually worse in some ways. Wished he could have been there two weeks after they told her about his death when she found out about their daughter. If wishes were penny's she'd be rich by now.

When the pillowcase was removed and she was given the chance to finally see who she was really dealing with she was shocked. Shock for her translated one of two ways normally; either she got giggly, which was not the case here, or she got pissed which was exactly the path she was rolling down now. As the music was shut off the silence was even more deafening until he began speaking and she realized she'd been right in thinking his voice was familiar. It wasn't the same, deeper with a rougher rumble to it now, but it was still his voice, Jacques's voice. Not saying a word as he said to listen she ground her teeth together a moment before realizing what she was doing and stopping herself. Studying his face when he crouched down she saw changes differences from what she remembered and wondered of it was her memory or things that would give away that this wasn't really him.

What he said though, their wedding date was common knowledge to anyone who looked it up but the detail about him being there for fifteen minutes before they walked down the aisle? That was something only the two of them knew about, no one had seen him go in or out and they'd sworn it would stay just between them because they were the only ones who needed to know. So unless they'd stolen his face and somehow forced him into giving a detail only they would know this man really was her husband, her not-so-dead-after-all husband. She could easily fix that since the night was young still and she wanted to punch him for leaving her alone so long. "You better fucking talk fast Jack." she growled not in the mood for some long drawn out story with flourishes. She wanted facts right now that would explain this.

Narrowing her eyes as he said he wanted to let her go but needed her not to kick his ass till he explained she shook her head, "Safer to leave me as I am for now because I really really want to punch you and I will give in to that temptation." she warned him then frowned realizing what he'd said. Taking a moment to think over his words she shook her head, "Task Force Mercy? Better yet...Black Ops? What the hell are you talking about? I thought you were in the navy?" she asked feeling really confused and not liking that at all.

WEARING THIS :: MEL/TYLER :: DONE

[jacques]

He didn't know how to explain it to her in a way that wouldn't freak her out anymore than she already was. Why was he protecting her? Because some seriously screwed up people lived in the world. That was why. Who was it that he was protecting her from? Everyone and anyone who knew about Task Force Mercy and wanted him dead. If he had to go up against his own god damned ex team mates to ensure that she was safe, he'd do it and he'd damned well come out on top too so long as it meant that she'd walk away from it intact. Everything he'd done in the past three years had been in order to keep her safe and bide his time before he could go back to her.

He knew she was having a hard time with this and he couldn't blame her in the least. He knew he had to tell her something that she'd remember as having been between the two of them and the two of them alone. So when he told her about the wedding and the fact that they had spent time together without anyone knowing, he was thankful to see the light of recognition in her eyes. He knew that he'd just won a very small victory in the massive scale battle, but it was something at the moment and he'd take any damned thing he could get. He'd ensured her that it was really him she was talking to and not some fucked up look alike that was trying to dupe her. And really, if she thought about it, she'd know damned well that her husband hadn't been the kind of man to cave for any reason. He'd been a God damned SEAL. She knew that well enough.

And then she was telling him that he needed to talk fast... But he didn't even really fucking know where to begin. He had to get her interest up enough that she'd stop and think about what he was saying... so he dropped the name of the unit he'd been working with and a few key words there that she honed in on automatically. He had her attention. "I'd deserve the attempted punching." He said. And there was a bit of his old cockiness coming back into play when he more or less insinuated that she wouldn't be able to get a hit in on him.

Finally, he headed back over to the chair and dragged it over so that it was positioned in front of her. He settled himself in on it, folding his arms over his chest and crossing his legs at the ankle. "I hope you're ready for a nice long chit chat..." He sighed as he prepared himself to explain to her what the hell he was talking about. "But you have to understand me now, Jo. Knowing this... it's dangerous stuff." He said, looking her directly in the eyes. He was afraid for her. Terrified for her even. But he knew that he was at a point of no return so he blinked, looked away from her and just started talking. "I was in the Navy. When I said I was on SEAL team six, I wasn't lying to you. Not in the least. But straight out of Team Six I was recruited for a special task force. They drew on the best of the best. We were the team you got to know." He said bluntly. Task Force Mercy was the Team that they had paraded around and masqueraded as a covert SEAL Team to their families.

"Nick and I were both SEALs. We had two nighthawk pilots... Army Rangers. Green berets." He commented, he was lost in the moment as he remembered the faces of the men he had served with. "We did the dirty work, Jo. The shit no one wanted to let anyone else in the world know about. And if shit hit the fan, we knew well enough that there was a chance that they'd have to throw us under the proverbial bus. On paper, we didn't exist. Well...." He gave a humorless laugh. "They tried to throw us under the bus. The mission I disappeared on was meant to kill all of us, Jo. The two pilots that flew us in barely made it out of a crash landing alive. There was an ambush and one of our own men was meant to help them take us out." His jaw locked in anger a moment as he remembered that sense of betrayal.

He leaned forward in his chair and looked at her. "Baby, you have to believe me when I say that if I could have come back sooner... if I could have risked sending word to you that I was still alive... I absolutely would have." He told her.

[JOCELYN THIBODEAUX]

Jocelyn sighed to herself as she didn’t seem to be getting an answer to her questions and wondered what kind of crazy stuff was going on in this guy’s head if he thought somehow he needed to protect her. The idea that he needed to protect her was in her mind way off, she didn’t need some stranger protecting her from anything and she didn’t trust this guy to do that anyway. She could handle herself, she had and would protect herself and Emma from everything and anything that came along. Like this guy for starters since he was clearly a bit unstable with the way he was talking and what he was doing kidnapping her off the street. A part of her hope that someone had seen and that the police were looking for her, maybe if they got a good enough description they’d know it was her they were looking for and that would count for something since they knew her from when she worked with them.

The mind games and screwing around though with bringing up old and painful memories? That made her hope no one would get there till she found a way to get free and had gotten a few punches in. Self defense. Realizing he wasn’t screwing with her but trying to help her realize who he was didn’t make her want to punch him any less and Jack would be smart to leave her cuffed and unable to do what she wanted. His talking about their wedding…that helped clear some of the doubt about it really being him away because no one but him knew about that and he wouldn’t have told anyone about it no matter what. She knew Jacques well, knew he wouldn’t be one of those men who ever gave up what they were being questioned for no matter the circumstances so he wouldn’t have spilled those beans but it was still really hard to accept and understand because he was supposed to be dead. She’d been told he was dead and even Nick believed he was dead…unless he’d been lying to her. She didn’t know him well enough to know when he lied, she only knew him through Jack actually and from the occasional run-in these days.

Considering that and how he could possibly be alive if everyone had thought he was dead since there were ways to tell if a man was dead or not and they should have known those ways. Had they just left him behind thinking he was dead or assuming he would be? If that was the case she was going to be punching some guys in the face for doing something like that. She gave him an unamused look when he said he’d deserve the attempted punching and shook her head, ”You’d deserve the black eye you’d be sporting.” she said seriously and knew she was probably angry enough right now to take on a rhino and win. Freaking out wasn’t an option she accepted from herself so she was going with anger instead because it was safer than flipping out and losing her mind.

Watching as he got the chair and settled in she sighed and considered a moment before shaking her head, ”Alright fine I’ll listen and not punch till after. Set me loose since this is just ridiculous.” she said making a mental promise to herself to actually keep her word on that and not just punch him in the face the second he let her free. She wanted to hear these answers, had questions and needed him to explain so violence could wait. ”Got it. Good thing you know not explaining is even more dangerous.” she said tilting her head to get her hair out of her face before looking at him again not afraid. She could handle knowing, she could keep her mouth shut or whatever it was he wanted, what she couldn’t handle was being clueless what was going on. Focusing on him as he spoke she added up things she remembered to what he was explaining wondering how she’d missed something so huge in his life as becoming part of a special task force. ”The guy’s I know…weren’t navy they were a special task force? Nick, Michael, Dane…the others...you’re telling me those guys were part of this?” she asked listing just the top few who came to mind when thinking back. It was weird to think she had known these people and still been in the dark what was going on.

Yeah it made sense that they couldn’t just tell people but she’d been married to him, still technically was, shouldn’t she have known so she understood what the risk he was taking would be? Listening as he explained more she didn’t speak again, just taking it all in and trying to understand why he would risk that…she knew well enough what that kind of “under the bus” meant because it was obvious. Looking away from him she tried to process this information, it was a lot to take in and handle without giving in to the “freak out” urge since anger wouldn’t get her answers or information here. ”You…joined a special task force…and knew that the end result was probably death if they decided you guys were too dangerous or not needed anymore or if something went wrong…never mentioned it to me…which yeah I can understand you not being allowed or whatever but still…kinda important for the woman you married to understand the risks. Yeah navy was risky, I got that but what you’re telling me now? Whole other level of risky Jacques.” she said knowing she was probably not making a whole lot of sense.

Looking back at him she shook her head a little at that, ”You have no idea…what I went through what happened after you were gone. What could possibly have been…How can you be here now if it’s such a big risk? What’s changed to make it less of a risk now? You can’t just show up now if it’s still dangerous Jack…” she said thinking about the risks and what could happen to Emma now if it wasn’t safe and something happened because of his being back. Sighing she closed her eyes a moment and to sort her thoughts before looking at him. ”What’s the risk right in this moment? I need to know what could happen because…Because it’s important to explain to me what changed and why you can be here now when you couldn’t get to me sooner or tell me you were alive still before now.” she said her voice calm and collected. She needed to understand the risk to their daughter before she could be happy he was alive or back or any of those things.

WEARING THIS :: MEL/TYLER :: DONE

[jacques]

He deserved a hell of a lot more than just the black eye he'd wind up sporting if she decided to take her anger out on him. He wasn't even sure he could bring himself to defend himself against her. He might very well have just let her turn him into a god damned punching bag if it'd help ease some of the frustration and anger she was feeling. The logical part of his brain knew that this wasn't his fault. That what had happened hadn't been his fault. But another part of his brain couldn't help but feel guilty still. This woman was his wife. She was the woman that he loved. The woman that he had always loved and would always love. She was the woman that he would do anything for and had done everything in his power to get to. He just wished everything could have been different for the pair of them. They might have had a baby by now... Lord knew what else they would have going for them by now.

Tyler nodded when she said that she would refrain from punching him for the time being and asked him to set her loose. He pulled a pocket knife and cut through the cuffs holding her in place before slicing through the duct tape as well. She was a lot of things, but he knew damned well that she wasn't a liar at the heart of it all. He knew just how dangerous not explaining things to her was. She had been a cop for damned good reason. He knew that much. His jaw clenched when she mentioned Michael's name. That was a name he never wanted to damned well hear again. He hated the bastard who had betrayed them with every fiber of his being and was only ashamed in knowing that he had once trusted the man with his life. And in the end, he'd betrayed that trust and had, literally, tried to end them all. "Yeah." He said simply enough. "That's pretty well the speed of it." He admitted to her.

He shook his head. "No. No, Jo. I didn't know it was going to end like this. I had no idea that they were willing to go to these extremes to shut us down." He told her. He needed her to understand that. He never would have willingly or intentionally put her in that kind of position. Ever. "We were the best of the best. We were the guys pulled from every spec ops branch of military out there. The guys who knew how to keep our damned mouths shut about the shit that we saw on a daily basis. But apparently someone in the chain of command just decided that wasn't good enough for them." He said bluntly. He sighed. "And you have to stop calling me that, Jo. You have to. I'm not Jacques anymore. I can't be." He told her quite bluntly.

He swallowed when she said that he had no idea what she had been through. He couldn't look her in the eye at the moment, so he fixed his gaze on the ground in front of him for a moment, swallowing past the grief and guilt that he felt in the moment. Christ. He raked a hand through his hair, however, when she asked a question that he knew she probably wouldn't like the answer to. But he finally raised his head and looked her directly in the eyes. "Because everyone besides the guys I worked with... the same guys who have been covering their asses for the last three years... Everyone who knew what we looked like or double crossed us..." He ground his teeth together for a moment. "Is dead, Jo." He said simply enough.

There wasn't a more simple way to put it. He'd killed Michael... He'd killed the man who drafted all of their plans of attack. They were both guilty as hell in attempting to frame them. But not even the top brass knew what the hell the men on that task force had looked like and that suited him just damned fine. "So right now... the only risk here is the risk you pose in calling me by my actual name." He said simply enough. And now, in a way, he was asking her not to give him up, hoping to hell that she didn't hate him so damned much now that she would give him up. And if she did hate him that much... then he didn't see what the purpose in living was anyhow...

[JOCELYN THIBODEAUX]

Jocelyn knew on some level it wasn’t his fault, but it wasn’t a level she was thinking on right now with everything that was being revealed such as his being very much alive. She would calm down eventually once she’d dealt with it and then she might not want to punch him anymore but she couldn’t change how she felt this very second. She felt betrayed on one level, he’d been alive and hadn’t ever told her and that to her was as bad as if he’d just decided to wake up one day and leave her for dead because that’s how she’d felt after they told her about it. She’d known the men who came to the door, they were familiar faces except familiar when smiling and that day they hadn’t been. When they’d told her it had been like the world just stopped turning and everything just went to hell. She couldn’t tell you her exact reaction if someone hadn’t told her, they’d taken her gun since she’d been on her way to work because apparently she’d freaked out screaming and generally not making sense. Neighbors who were around had stood there watching as she’d been thrown over a shoulder in a firemans carry and taken back into her home. After that the breakdown and the week on the couch not moving barely ever and not even sure who’d come and been around taking care of her.

A trip to the doctors was ordered when she kept no food down and the funeral was held…coming home to a message from the doctor asking her to call back. Second piece of shocking news being that she was pregnant dropped on her head that day making what was already horrible even worse because the man who was supposed to be there with her excited for this news and happy had just been “laid to rest” though the coffin had been empty. It had taken awhile for her to get back to human after that, though she’d taken care of herself and let friends try helping her instead of pushing them away. It was then that she’d chosen to just quit her job and find something better suited to a single mom. Security staff at camp outlast had been something she knew she could handle because she could see her daughter whenever she stopped by the house and Kier hired a babysitter to be there during the day so she could work. He’d actually taken care of her too in making sure she had the medical coverage for her doctor’s appointments and things and coming to pick her up from the hospital himself the day she and Emma could go home to be sure they made it safely. The man could be prickly as a cactus and she might want to punch him some days but Kiernan had given her what she needed to survive through a tough time in a job that didn’t make her feel like she’d all of a sudden become weak but still didn’t demand too much at the time.

Pulled from her thoughts about the past and how hard it had been after thinking Jacques was dead she focused on the man himself sitting there now speaking to her. She wondered if she should pinch herself a few dozen times to make sure she was really awake or maybe see if she was high and imagining this after being snatched by someone she didn’t actually know? She was a rational woman though and knew that wasn’t the case. Arms crossed over her chest as she tried to relax into the chair she looked at him and shook her head a little, ”You just said you knew they’d throw you under the bus…with a secret government organization what did you think that would mean? They’d slap you on the wrist and say “bad boy…you should not have done that so go back to normal life now and say nothing” or something? Even my mind goes to the obvious of no…they’re gonna get rid of your stupid ass.” she said and sighed reaching up to rub her forehead. Listening as he spoke about them being the best of the best and how they were pulled together to be a team and how it wasn’t good enough that they could keep their mouths shut. Looking at him and lifting an eyebrow as he told her he wasn’t Jacques anymore she sighed and pushed her hair out of her face, ”Well sorry. You’ve always been Jacques to me and unlike you I haven’t had 3 fucking years to get used to you not being Jacques anymore. Geez…you dump this on me right now after nabbing me off the street like some creepy kidnapper I used to put behind bars for what you did and then expect me to just be like “oh right you’re tyler now la de da” or something? Takes some getting used to.” she grumbled shaking her head at him.

She hadn’t had an easy time since his “death” with going from being a wife to being alone and then having a daughter and still being alone and dealing with it all alone. It had been hard and scary and now here he was sitting in front of her alive and explaining that he couldn’t have come back saying sorry for not being there or telling her. She couldn’t just be like “oh yay let’s get back to how things were” after that and she hoped he understood that. It would take more talking, and working together to sort through all of this and get back to anything like they were before. She listened to his answer to her questions though and sighed nodding a little understanding what he meant in that and while she wanted to ask more questions she was just happy knowing that no one was out there hunting him and getting close to putting their daughter in danger. ”Yeah okay…that’s…this sounds heartless but that’s good.” she said softly with a shrug at her own heartlessness in being glad for someone’s death because she didn’t care as long as it meant Emma was safe. ”I’ll work on that then…Tyler.” she said leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees and rub her hands over her face. ”So you’re back? Like back back…not going anywhere back?” she asked peeking at him from between her fingers.

WEARING THIS :: MEL/TYLER :: DONE

[jacques]

He could guess that things hadn't been easy for her. Well they sure as shit hadn't been easy for him either. When he'd been found by the mercenary group, he'd had grueling months of recovery after the gunshot wound he'd received and all of the blood he had lost from it. He'd played the mission out in his mind over and over again. And he'd known that it was an inside job. It screamed inside job. He'd paid a shitload of his blood money to have the bullet they pulled out of his leg analyzed, only to discover that it was the same caliber and make of bullet that US special forces operatives used. Them in particular. It was a calling sign of their Black Ops group and the only one distinguishable to US intelligence agencies, but the call sign was so subtle that unless you knew what you were looking for, you'd over look it beyond a doubt.

He'd worked his ass off. He'd recovered. And when he'd discovered all of the sons of a bitches who had sold his team out... He'd gotten even with them. No way in hell was he going to stay away from his life back in the USA forever if he could do something about it. And if he couldn't do something about it, he'd rather be dead than live out his life as a fucking mercenary in the Middle East. That wasn't who or what he was. Yeah, he had a specific group of skills that made him more than a little valuable in that community. But he also had a set of morals and a code of conduct that he followed. One that he'd temporarily forgotten after his 'death' while he took care of business. There was one thing that you didn't screw with in Jacques life... and that was his family.

He raked a hand through his hair when she more or less called him stupid. "You don't get it, Jo." He said shaking his head. "There have been countless fucking Black Ops teams thrown together over the years. When I said they would throw us under the bus, I meant that if we ever got caught doing what we were doing, they'd disavow us and we'd face criminal charges for what we were doing." He said to her quite bluntly. He leaned forward and looked at her. "We were given our targets and we did everything by the books. We operated as if we were still a SEAL team." He wasn't sure why it was so damned important for her to see that he would have never willingly put her through this. What was done was done. And even more important to him right now than that was that she saw that he wasn't some cold blooded killer. That he was still the same guy he'd been when he'd joined the SEAL team.

He forced himself up and out of the chair he'd been sitting on. He couldn't sit still anymore. He paced the floor in the shadows in front of her, hating this. Hating himself for having put her through this. He knew she was right. She couldn't just flip a switch in her brain and everything would be okay for them and he knew that... But this was important. "I wondered every day that I was away... how our lives would have been different if I never would have stepped up to plate and taken the job on Task Force Mercy. But I know just knowing the name of the operation would have signed me a death warrant in the end." He said looking at her as he leaned against the table on the far side of the room. "It tormented me every God damned day... Not knowing where you were. How you were. You were the first thing I'd reach for every morning that I woke up until I rolled over on a god damned bed roll in the sand and realized that I wasn't home. I couldn't sleep, but I wanted to desperately because I knew I'd dream of you. And then when I did wake up it left me hollow." He shook his head when he realized he had tears in his eyes and ran a hand over his jaw. He needed to stop this shit and get it together.

And then she seemed like she was rational enough to actually talk to him without getting too pissed at him. All because he'd told her that he'd killed everyone who knew? Sometimes a man had to go to desperate lengths in order to make sure that those he cared about were safe. Every one of those bastards who had issued the orders to have them terminated knew what the hell they were doing. This was their just rewards. The thing was... he hadn't left their families high, dry and struggling. Of all of the men he had terminated, only one of them had a daughter who was sixteen years old... And strangely enough, after her father had been killed, a miscellaneous deposit of $200,000 dollars had been made to a trust fund in her name. It may not have been the solution to everything, but it'd sure as hell help the girl out and, hopefully, keep her from ever knowing the shit her father had been involved in.

He settled in in front of her again and nodded. "I'm back. For good now. And if I never set foot in the Middle East again... if I never travel again... I'd be the happiest man in the world." He told her simply enough. "But there's one thing eating me up, Jo." He said. "You loved being a cop. You loved waking up in the mornings and knowing that you were going to be out there on the street making the area a whole hell of a lot safer. So why?" He asked, his brows furrowing. "Why did you quit?"

[JOCELYN THIBODEAUX]

Jocelyn knew that playing the “who had it harder” game was not something they’d ever do, and not something that would ever have an answer if they were to. Their situations were so similar yes but far too different to ever compare. She’d faced mourning him and the pain of losing him and knowing he’d never come home to her again, never get to meet the beautiful little girl that reminded her of him sometimes in little things she’d do or the way she looked. She dealt with it all and while she couldn’t say she’d dealt well she’d survived for Emma’s sake though she wasn’t a whole person without him. He’d had to face being left for dead by his own team, healing from the injuries which couldn’t have been easy, fighting his way back and knowing she was there just out of his reach? She knew that couldn’t have been easy for him and she could respect that he’d done it, that he was here now in front of her telling her he was alive which to her took even more guts. He could have stayed away after such a long time, not decided to face her questions, anger, suspicion, and the whole wide range of emotions they felt between the two of them. It wasn’t easy but he’d always been a good man who could step up and do what he needed to, could be someone she loved and respected.

She still loved him now, even though she’d thought he was gone for so long and through the shock of seeing him so suddenly. Her heart squeezed painfully as she feared she would wake up and this would have just been a taunting dream that would haunt her for months to come with the possibility she should never consider. She didn’t feel like this was a dream though, she didn’t think she’d be waking up alone in bed any time soon and that made her heart pick up in pace at the reality of him being alive and here where she could just reach out and touch him to confirm to herself over and over again that he wasn’t actually dead. She didn’t know what to do with that, the circumstances around his returning and the confusion, fear, and overwhelming amounts of emotions hitting her was channeled out wrong, coming out as anger instead of joy and she knew until she had answers, until she understood what had happened and what it all meant now she wouldn’t be able to feel everything else. There was too much to consider and too much at risk if this wasn’t safe for him to be here. She wanted him back but she had to be sure Emma was safe before she could think of what she wanted.

Hearing him say she didn’t get it she gave him a look that clearly said “explain then” without having to utter the words and waited listening as he did so. Not looking away as he explained that they’d face criminal charges and how they’d done everything by the books she bit her tongue a moment before releasing it on him trying to be a little less pissed and failing. ”Well that makes it okay then, you being locked away in jail or something for life would be much better than you being dead because we’d get to see you all the…oh wait no…you’d still be gone just rotting in a cell instead of dead in my mind. I’d be thinking about you and wishing you were here just as much either way…my mistake.” she said knowing she needed to reign herself in and taking a breath closing her eyes for a moment. ”Whatever we can’t change the past and what you did or didn’t do, what you chose or didn’t tell me. But I don’t think I’ll ever see why you made those choices Jack, the risks…you had to know what you were getting into and what the outcome could be…actually you said you did know that but did it anyway and I get that you wanted to be part of it, part of something that was bigger and something that did good…but with something that…huge I just can’t…nevermind.” she said not thinking about him being a killer but thinking about how he’d known he could be taken from her, known he was risking their life together and still did it without even telling her.

Sighing as he got up to pace around she leaned forward in the chair placing her elbows on her knees and her face into her hands taking a few calming breaths. She needed to stop, she was going down the path toward freaking out and that wouldn’t do either of them any good at this moment. Not looking up as he began speaking again she just listened to him, learning the chances in his voice as she listened to his words. She could tell him how things would have been different, or at least a few things for sure like something he didn’t seem to have any clue about even if he’d known where to find her and things. She didn’t know whether to be scared that it meant she had to tell him or happy that it mean she was good at keeping their daughter protected since she was maybe a little paranoid about keeping Emma safe after losing Jacques. ”The day they came and told me you were dead…I fell apart. It took a long time to get back to normal and..if it weren’t for…certain things I’m not sure I’d have pulled through and been of any use in the world for it. My worst nightmare came true when you died, you were gone and I was alone without you. I would wake up and forget you were gone, get up and get a cup of coffee, catch myself checking the mail or my e-mail for a letter or message only to remember there wouldn’t be any more. You wouldn’t send me anything teasing me about wearing the uniform when you came home because I looked hot in it or anything like that anymore…” she confessed to him like he’d spoken to her about waking up away from home. Lifting her head to look at him as she spoke now she frowned a little. ”What I remember from them telling me…well it wasn’t much since I just basically shut down there on the spot mentally…but I remember the first thing they said after telling me wasn’t anything like “I’m sorry” or “we should go back inside” or the normal stuff…first thing they said was “grab her gun” because apparently I looked either murderous or suicidal…not sure which they won’t answer me on that…but waking up without you when…after it all was horrible. So I understand you perfectly there.” she said and wiped her face realizing tears had slipped without her permission and getting rid of them.

Losing herself to the haunting memories for a moment she refocused on him again when he sat in the chair in front of hers once more. Hearing him say he was back for good now she nodded her shoulders sagging in relief for a moment glad to hear she wasn’t getting him back just to lose him again. The question he asked though had her tensing up a little again as she thought how to answer. ”Well…after I wasn’t really in a place mentally where I could anymore for awhile…but mostly…I got sick after you left, thought it was a cold or just my body’s reaction to my emotions or something but the day of…of your funeral the doctor called me back…left a message wanting me to call him so I did…” she said not able to stop the starts and stops in her speaking totally not sure how this was going to go over. ”He told me that day that I was pregnant, congratulated me on it and told me I needed to call and make an appointment to get checked over and things but…we have a daughter. Emma…she’s why I quit, she needed me more than I needed to be a cop and I got the job up at the camp with Kier where I could still be there for her and things and be safer for her so she wouldn’t lose me too…” she said trailing off at the end waiting for his reaction.

WEARING THIS :: MEL/TYLER :: DONE

[jacques]

He sighed in frustration at what she said about it being so much better that he was in jail rather than dad. "That's not what I meant and you know it." He muttered. He knew, however, just how bad it had to sound to her at the moment. The worst had happened and, in the end, he'd been made to pay for it. He didn't like the fact that he had been gone from his wife at all. He hated knowing that he had been away from her at all. He had had some serious doubts in his mind while he'd been gone. He'd done a hell of a lot of thinking and had wondered, on more than one occasion, whether or not doing what he had been doing for as long as he had done it had really been worth it. He'd always believed in country and liberty and protecting those that were unable to protect themselves... but at the end of it all, his own country had betrayed him, his liberties had been stripped and he'd left his wife without him there to guard her back.

He hated himself for having been so damned blind.

She told him, point blank, that she didn't think she'd ever understand why he had made those decisions or choices. "Because a few years ago, I was a naive kid with this concept of justice, country and liberty. You don't realize how much you take all of that for granted until you see some of the crap that we saw overseas. The scum of the earth that we were taking down... all I could think, day in and day out was... 'If this was back home and this guy was walking the same streets that Jo walked down, wouldn't I want someone to take this asshole out and make sure that he couldn't hurt anyone I cared about'?" He sighed. "The answer is yes. Hell yes. I had the chance to make a difference in a way that few men are able to. I couldn't see past that to what I was missing out on and what I could be missing out on." He admitted to her. There was no other explanation.

He didn't want to hear about how his wife had fallen apart when she'd been told that he was dead, but he knew damned well that he needed to hear it and understand what she had gone through. He deserved nothing less for the fact that he hadn't told her what he had done. "I'll never forgive myself for putting you through that, Jo. Ever." He admitted to her softly. How could he? When he'd married her he'd promised to love her and cherish her always. But where the hell had he been the last three years? And where the hell had his devotions and time been otherwise before that. He'd been married to his job just as much as he'd been married to her. He had loved her, but sometimes, looking back on it, he had known that it hadn't been enough. None of it had been enough. He wanted, desperately, to reach out to her and wipe those tears away but he knew he didn't have a right. He knew that, for all intents and purposes, she should have hated him in the moment. She should have told him to get the hell out and never darken her doorstep again. "I'm so sorry..." He breathed, clenching his fists to keep from reaching out for her.

But in spite of everything, he could see the relief there when he told her that he was staying for good. He wasn't going anywhere. He'd fought too damned hard and for too damned long to get back home to her. If she would have told him to leave her alone and never come back, he would have respected that, but he wouldn't have stopped watching over her. He never could do that. But as he started listening to what she was saying about why she had quit the police force and she got to the part about her having been pregnant... his face instantly blanched and he felt cold... He felt numb.

They had a daughter. He was a father and he'd never known it. All he could do for a moment was put his head in his hands and stare at the ground. He had a little girl that he hadn't known a damned thing about. He'd dreamed of having a family with Jo when he'd left. He'd never thought of the possibility of what could be waiting for him when he got home. And there were those damned tears in his eyes when he looked back up at her again. "We have a daughter?" he asked, the words almost getting caught up in his throat in the moment. He shook his head. "And I've missed... three years of my little girl's life." He shook his head and closed his eyes again. But he had to know... He just had to. "Is she happy? Healthy?" He whispered, looking up at Jo, unable to help himself in the moment.