the universe is so hostile , pheonix

[NOELLE MARSH]

so it’s always been

devour to survive

the walls had felt as though they had been closing in on her and she needed an escape. the hour was late but that thought never really occurred to the young girl as she slipped out of her bed, peeling back the covers and moved to the closet to replace her pajamas with jeans but she left the tanktop on. sighing, her hand ran through her hair as she was covered in a layer of a cold sweat, and she just needed to get out of the confined space. the need to be outside was growing stronger and stronger with each second that she spent in the house and with her phone tucked into her pocket, noelle hastily made her way out the exit of the house and into the night air which she took a deep breath of. the air clung to her lungs, making her chest burn for a second before her body became accustomed to everything and she relaxed in the wide open space of the world. being in a basement for six weeks, only coming up for moments that she was granted, being touched and “loved” by her captor was hard but the recovery of it seemed to be the worst part. she had not heard the news though, not hearing about the parole and not knowing that he was back on the streets while noelle was falling out of love with the male that had made her life a nightmare. her virtue had been stolen and her mind had been overtaken by the stolkholm syndrome or at least, that is what the psychologists were calling it but she was not sure if that was true. noelle was not sure of anything but as her shoulder collided with another, a gasp could be heard as the distance look in her eyes faded and she bent down to retrieve the dropped item, ”so sorry!..”

[/b] she said, handing the item back but it nearly slipped from her fingers as her eyes met his. she could never forget that gaze, those piercing eyes, and her breath hitched, forcing her to take a step back. she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out, instead, noelle just shook the object that was in her hand as it was the only thing that was keeping her grounded to her spot—manners after all.
[/div][/center]

[phoenix]

it was just another normal day at sublime; phoenix was closing again, which meant it would at least be three in the morning when he got all the sorry, drunk people out of the club per request by his boss. he watched the clock warily during the last few hours of his shift, and when that little hand hit the three, he dropped the damp towel on the bar and helped an older woman find her purse and hurried her out of the building. he then turned his attention to the mess that the club was in. there were still a few workers left, including the seldom strippers that stayed downstairs until three, but by the time phoenix was done stacking chairs and wiping off tables, he found an eerie, quiet presence was over the entire bar - he was alone at long last. he hastily finished his job before heading out the door, keys in hand. he locked the door and turned around to head home - which was conveniently an apartment complex right across the street - when something collided into his shoulder. he stepped back and groaned before taking the keys that were knocked from his hands. he nodded his head slowly at the meek apology she offered him, but noticed her body was slightly rigid, frozen. he slowly looked up at her face, and returned the same wide eyed stare that she was giving him. phoenix chuckled darkly and began to mess with the keys in his hands, "well... small world after all."

[/justify][/size]

[NOELLE MARSH]

so it’s always been

devour to survive

the keys were shaking in her hand as result of the tremors running through her entire body. she looked over to them as they were taken and then quickly took that big step back with her breathing accelerating and the fear in her chest producing a whimper as their fingers grazed one another’s in the exchange of the keys. a nightmare was the only plausible explanation for his presence in the town once more, but the only relief was the fact that if phoenix was back, then so was anthony and that brought a ghost of a smile to her lips while her eyes diverted away from him in an attempt to forget about his existence. it was hard when the chuckle rang through her ears and she quickly shook her head, ”you…you’re out..”

[/b] she stated the obvious with a shaky tone to match her complete shaken up appearance. words were lost on the girl as she tried to find a way to explain his presence but that was the only thing that she could come up—he was out. her hands found the pocket of her jeans, digging them and clenching the lining in an attempt to calm herself down by balling her fists. ”…uh..”[/b] as noelle was at a loss for words as she could feel her entire recovery backpedaling in a matter of seconds, ”..w..welcome back..”[/b] she whispered, removing a hand from one pocket in order to rub at the back of her neck with an awkward action but she had to do something. running would seem like the best idea as her own personal nightmare was infront of her, but her legs were solid but they felt like gelatin, bouncing around but remaining static in their spot. she was not sure if the good memories of her captivity were keeping her grounded, or the fear that came with the dark chuckle mirroring the many times that he spoke to her while her body was completely overtaken by him in the six weeks that she was nothing but his. [/div][/center]

[phoenix]

he had her exactly where he wanted her. it was obvious that she was afraid. of what exactly, he wasn't entirely sure; but for his ego's sake, he let himself believe that it was him that had this effect on her. who in their right mind wouldn't be scared of a male that had done what he did to her for six weeks? his chesire grin spread further while he crossed his arms over his chest. "thanks, sweetie," he mumbled, somewhat sarcastically. of course, he still held resentment towards her for being the reason that he was thrown in jail, even if it was only a matter of time before he had gotten himself in trouble a different way. he still had a right to be angry, didn't he? "i got out for good behavior," he tacked on thoughtfully, hoping to give her some false sense of security by saying that. whenever he told people - his boss, for example - that he was let out early for good behavior, they thought that 'oh, he's a good guy now; nothing to worry about'. sometimes, that could be the exact opposite, though. he had his good days, and he had his bad days. it just depended on how much time he had to brood and think about what happened three years ago. "so how are you...?" he asked, arching a brow and adorning a somewhat curious expression on his face.

[/justify][/size]

[NOELLE MARSH]

so it’s always been

devour to survive

were taken from her hand, she quickly retracted her apparedenge to curl around her stomach, shielding herself, from what exactly? she was not sure but his presence alone was relaxing her but setting her on edge at the same time. she flinched to the nickname, hearing it ring in her ears and trigger the memories where he pet named her, sweet talked to get her into his bed or to take what he wanted from her. manipulation, sadistic, cold were all the words that her psychologist had described but seeing him here was causing all of the recovery to backpedal, her heart swelling with both fear and adortion for the male but that latter was just an illusion and she had to repeat that thought to herself a number of times before she opened her mouth, ”..it’s..noelle..”

[/b] she said hesitantly, shaking her head to his words and then turning to look over her shoulder with some hope that they were not actually alone on the street together. she did feel some relief, a little bit stress lifted from her chest but a majority of it was still there, aching with him being so close and so, noelle took a step back and nodded, ”uh…good, that’s..good…”[/b] she said, growing more comfortable but a restless feeling was growing just as much at the same time. her fingers fidgeted with the fabric of her shirt, a tanktop that was lower cut that she had liked at his moment, showing that she had certain grown into her body since the last time that they saw one another. ”oh me?...good..finishing high school, just ….reentered public school again.”[/b], but not wanting to admit it was because she had been terrified of people, large crowds or even being touched and that was all thanks to him. ”…so..uh..prison…good?..bad?..heard stories but y’know..uh..haven’t been..”[/b] and if it had been her choice, he wouldn’t have gone either but her parents were persistent about making him suffer and she could see that he was hardened by jail but she needed to know what his reaction was, what her limit was and possibly how fast she could run away before he caught her again.[/div][/center]

[phoenix]

it seemed that his grin could only grow wider to the point where was beaming. he shrugged his shoulders and chewed on his lower lip for a moment, gazing up and down her petite figure. he chuckled, taking a cautious step towards her as she stepped back while saying, "you always did remind me of a chihuahua." of course, that meant so many things - not just that she was skittish and easily scared like a chihuahua (or any small dog for that matter), but because whenever he thought of a chihuahua, he thought of some poor, pathetic thing that would let you dress it up and put it in a bag and do whatever you pleased with it. and to phoenix, that's exactly what noelle was to him - just a simple little plaything. his train of thought and own personal amusement was interrupted when she asked how prison had been. his grin melted quickly, and for a moment, his facial features sobered up, and he was quiet for a long, long time. "prison was hell. i spent three fucking years staring at the same four walls every single goddamn day." he paused and chuckled inwardly before continuing, "i mean how do you think it was, sweets? a fucking cake walk?"

[/justify][/size]

[NOELLE MARSH]

so it’s always been

devour to survive

his step closer was taken as a threatening remark and she tried to recall the moves from her self defense class that were taught to her, but it was lost in the whirlwind of fear in her eyes as she took another step and swallowed the rising bile in her throat. she raised an eyebrow though, her intrigue getting the better of her but it dropped only moments later and shaking her head, ”I’m…not like that..anymore..”

[/b] or she was not until his release had been discovered. for some time now, noelle was starting to become assimilated back into society and back into the world that she had been shielded from since phoenix had shut everything out on her. she was tougher now, she knew how to defend herself but that sweet disposition had not faltered in the slightest and it was not going to at this moment either. she glanced down to the ground, catch the sight of her wrists and remembering the rope burns that had been imbedded in her skin and treated for at the hospital after she had been discovered cowering in the basement. she flinched though as his words got more aggressive and his stance becaming more threatening, ”…I didn’t want that for you..”[/b] she mumbled under her breath but took a step back, glancing behind her at the wall that was going to be pressed into her back in another two or three steps more. ”well no..but…you got out on good behavior…so…”[/b] which was confusing to her, after the monster that he was, how did he get out? ”..please don’t be mad at me….”[/b] she whispered, covering her body with her arms wrapping their way around her midrift, her eyes falling to the ground in a submissive position, just like a chihuahua. [/div][/center]

[phoenix]

"i'm not mad at you," phoenix mumbled, looking down at noelle's feet for a spare moment before looking back up at her, eyes intently staring her down, his hazel eyes swirling with discontent. that was a blatant lie; phoenix was mad at noelle. in fact, he blamed the entire thing on her. it took everything he had in his will and self preservation to not jump onto her right this minute. but he had to look at this from a bigger perspective. how fun would this be if he managed to end it quickly? the answer would be not fun at all. at least, the correct answer would be not at all. he snorted and, once again, that wicked, up to know grin of his was back. "yeah, i got out on good behavior. didn't even mean for that to happen." he paused, thinking about what he would say next. he had to say something that would impact her - something that would give her some sense of false hope and security. "guess that means i'm a good guy now." he chuckled, "a changed man."

[/justify][/size]

[NOELLE MARSH]

so it’s always been

devour to survive

noelle took that extra step back that she felt was needed in this case. she had mentally prepared herself for the moment that he would return, but she was expecting another two years or so between that moment and now but it seemed to have arrived much sooner. ”y-..y-you’re not?”

[/b] she asked with a docile tone, a pitiable whimper being produced after as she shook her head and stared at the ground. she had been told that it was nothing compared to love, what she had felt for him, but standing here, it sure felt as such. her palms were sweaty, her heart was thumping against her ribcage and her eyes were wide but noelle was confusing love with fear as tat was all that she actually felt for the male. but she missed the warmth of his touch, the sound of his voice, it had always been calm and relaxing and she was craving at this at the moment. feeling more relaxed, she gave a nod to him, ”you always were a good guy…you just…made a bad decision”[/b] she mumbled under her breath, putting her back to the wall and leaning against it, her arms wrapped around her body once more but they were crossed against her chest this time. she was closing herself out, remembering what her psychologist had explained to her, trying to justify the feeling of security that she felt at this moment—but it was all false and that was something that noelle could not see, but would learn in the hardest way possible. [/div][/center]

[phoenix]

to be honest, phoenix was still completely shocked that he was let out of prison as early as he was, especially because he hadn't devised some master plan to be a goody two shoes and get released early. no, that wasn't the case at all. he was just going to take his sentence like a man and let himself rot in jail for however many years he had left when he reached the three year mark. that might not have been an entirely good thing, though. thoughts start forming when a man is alone and brooding about things. especially the things that led up to him being thrown into the cement cell in the first place. phoenix looked up for a moment when she spoke again, and his lips curved into a soft smile as he chuckled. "well thanks for that, sweets. at least you know i'm a good guy, right?" he tilted his head ever so slightly and began staring at her inquisitively. phe just had to see how far he could push her. after all, this was the woman he loved once upon a time. he wasn't about to hurt her... or at least, that's what he told himself. he was very hot and cold about his decision to leave her alone or to bring back the old antics between the two of them.

[/justify][/size]

[NOELLE MARSH]

so it’s always been

devour to survive

the nickname stung her but she tried not to let it show, it was part of her training to let her feelings subside and to move on with her life, but how could she do that now? this male before her was the entire reason for her nightmares, he haunted them, she could still feel his gentle touch and a part of her wanted it again because she at least felt human, more herself than she had ever felt when she was in his arms—but the girl was told it was all a lie. love between the two of them never existed, or again, so she was told. sighing softly, she shook her head to the nickname and stared down at the ground for a moment, ”elle..or noelle..please, not sweets..or sweetheart..”

[/b] she mumbled into the air, wondering if the words even reached his ears unless the wind carried them. she was softer spoken, more vulnerable and even more fragile than when he had last seen her in his basement, and she suddenly took that final back, ”stay away..”[/b] she mumbled, trying to be a little stronger but failing with the shakiness with her voice. those were the words that she was meant to stay if she saw him again, or when she saw him again because it was inevitable for the two of them to meet at some point in their life. ”please.”[/b] she added, fear growing in her eyes as her back collided with the wall and she turned her head to look away from him but she reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her bottom lip quivering to the tears that threatened to roll over. she was so conflicted about wanting to be in his arms once more, wrapped in the only person that actually showed an ickle of romantic love toward her, or to run and be as far away from him as possible and instead, noelle’s feet were grounded to the cement, feeling as though she was sinking into the ground while he towered over her.. [/div][/center]

[phoenix]

once upon a time, i guess you could somewhat say that phoenix really was starting to feel something for noelle, other than the obvious lust and anger that caused him to do what he had done to her. feelings like that weren't very common for phoenix and yet, they were so very easily lost. not to say that there weren't any traces of what was once there still left, because there still was. there was still a tiny sliver of compassion and pity left, but it was comparable to the moon high in the sky now. it was once a full moon; big, bright and round, but now it was dissolved into nothing more than a little toe nail shape, and soon enough, it would be completely erased from the sky, only to show up once again, brighter than before. phoenix wasn't necessarily how that part of the moon phase could be related to his and noelle's situation - the whole, new moon coming back and stuff - but he wasn't about to sit around and wait to find out, either. he stared down at the pitiable girl and clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. "you used to like that nickname," he murmured while moving closer to her, using the wall against her back as an advantage. it had taken him until now to realize that noelle definitely wasn't like she was three years back. or maybe his charms were finally wearing off on her. phoenix tilted his head to the side and placed a hand on the wall beside her, efficiently blocking that side of her, unless she was to duck under it. with his other free hand, he began to caress the faint line of her jaw, his dark, swirling eyes watching the action his fingers took. "you know you don't want me to stay away, elle. you know you don't," he said in a somewhat gentle tone, even if it was sickeningly so. and to be quite honest, he wasn't entirely sure if that was what he wanted, either. to be close to her, that is. but he'd just have to wait and see, wouldn't he?

(x_x that so was not a mini post but i had a lot of phe muse so...)

[/justify][/size]

[NOELLE MARSH]

so it’s always been

devour to survive

the words were rushing through her head, telling her to back away and to move but she could not do anything but step away. the male brought back bittersweet memories, things that she had been told to lock away and forget about but it was harder than expected when the male was standing before her. she felt her body fall into a fit of shakes as she put her back against the wall, realizing that she was trapped if he decided to turn back into the old ways. she was so confused about what to do and what to feel, ”well…that was…before..”

[/b] she whispered, remembering the nickname in two contexts when she was being held. he said it to her when he wanted to calm her down at first, and then when he was angry and disappointed in her. the tone was sweet or condescending and she was unsure of which kind it was now. confused and shaking, noelle felt that she was not able to move any part of her body and her breath hitch as she watched his hand rest near her head, blocking her into one side of the wall, ”please…”[/b] she whispered under her breath, not wanting to return to the same stage she had been it. her recovery had been going well but now, it was different, it was harder to even breathe at this moment in time, ”phe..”[/b] she whispered his name, flinching to his touch and reaching up to grab at his wrist, trying to stop the movement from continuing. ”I don’t?..”[/b] she asked with infliction in her voice, questioning her original idea about running but thinking it was a good idea, pushing his hand away from her face and taking a small step to the right. ”I do…I have to…I just…”[/b] she whispered, wiping at her eyes that were brimming with tears, one of confusion and fear because everything that she felt for phoenix had been fake, right? [/div][/center]

[phoenix]

phoenix tilted his head slightly and frowned, staring down at noelle intently. he hummed lightly while stopping the movement on her jaw, his touch lingering for just a moment before the hand fell down to his side. he stayed quiet for a moment, breaking shallowly. in and out. in and out. his eyes never left her face; in fact, it was his intention to make her uncomfortable. it was his intention to make her squirm and writhe beneath him. why...? well, why not? that's exactly what he had been yearning for when he was in prison. he wasn't even missing getting drunk, eating food that actually tasted good, or having sex. no, that wasn't it at all. the thing he was looking forward to most was getting back to torturing noelle marsh, because that was the only thing phoenix was good at. okay, so, that might have been a lie -- there could be plenty of things he was good at, but he wasn't exactly willing to go soul searching to find a new hobby. scaring this little girl would suffice for now. finally, he broke the silence with a bit of a chuckle. "who says you have to? where's your mind, noelle? have you lost it?" he scrutinized, his gaze turning into a harsh glare. "what have they done to you, sweetheart?"

[/justify][/size]