Post by ARIELLA HAYES on Oct 31, 2012 4:09:09 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400px,true][atrb=style, background-color: transparent;] [/style]grey winchester , 1121 words , outfit, i apologize for suckiness |
[STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 9px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align:center;]Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there
[/style]| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,400,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=style,height: 50px;] ariella had been having the strangest past few weeks and she had no explanation for it. recently, she's had a hypersensitive smell, and even the faintest of certain things was enough to trigger her gag reflex. almost as if every little thing made her want to throw up. she was easily tired even though she was putting in the same amount of work as she had before. and it felt like the lack of sleep was growing more and more. she, of course, not wanting to alarm grey, had not told him about anything. every time she needed to throw up, she made sure it wasn't around him and that he wouldn't suspect a thing. she had her guesses though. she just didn't want to be right. mainly because if she was pregnant, then there was a very high possibility that the father wasn't grey. in fact, she would be pretty certain that the father would be the man who had raped her. he had gotten to her before her period could. it had been over three weeks. she was supposed to have her period a week ago. and for a full week, she had refused to believe that she was pregnant. she couldn't be. but as the throwing up got worst and worst as well as the other symptoms, she couldn't help but face reality. if she was honest with herself, she had no idea what she would do if the baby's father wasn't grey. of course, she would consider abortion, but also knowing herself, she wouldn't have the heart to do it. it was a baby after all. another life form. it didn't even have a chance to live before it got killed. but on the other hand, she was also sure that grey wouldn't be pleased if she kept the baby. she shook her head. then again. she wasn't pregnant, so what was she so worried about? it was just impossible that she was, but she had to make sure. just in case she was. she was just getting better at blocking the man from her mind. she still had nightmares every night, thinking the man would be back for more even though she knew he was locked up behind bars for good. she still had trouble holding a proper conversation with people most of the time, let alone another male. she even stuttered around grey even though she knew he would never dare to lay a hand on her. he was safe. she knew that. and while a part of her knew that other people were safe too, that they weren't like the man she had met so many years ago, a part of her was still afraid that she was wrong. that she was just being naive. she couldn't be too trusting. but chelle was right. she wasn't going to let the man run her life anymore. he had already done so since she was eleven years old. she had been living in fear for years because of him. and she didn't want to run around with her tail between her legs. it was time to live life the way she wanted. and she had been trying hard to do just that. she would occasionally rush home to break down after a simple touch on her shoulder, and sometimes she felt like curling into a ball and just hide until the end of day, but she would pick herself up again and realize that she was being ridiculous. she was doing so much better. and if she did happen to be pregnant, and this child did happen to be that man's, then she wouldn't know whether to kill the man first, or just kill herself to get it over with because god knows she couldn't kill an unborn child. her hands shook as she stared at the rows and rows of pregnancy test kits in the drug store aisle. she stared long at hard at each and every one of them. which one is she supposed to take here? did, for some weird reason, all these pregnancy test work in different ways? they were all supposed to work the same right? they're supposed to only tell people whether or not they were pregnant. why was it all so complicated? she didn't know how long she stood in that aisle, just staring at the boxes. she didn't care because she was starting to feel a slight panic bubbling at the pit of her stomach. "first time mother?" a voice rang clearly next to her. she blinked a few times, coming back to reality as she turned to the woman who had spoken. her lips trembled, tears threatening to fall, "p-possibly" she whispered, voice trembling. the woman offered a warm and reassuring smile at her, taking a box from the shelves and extending it to her, "personally, i think this one is better, and there's more than one pregnancy test in there, so if you need to double or triple check, it's there." ari nodded, her body trembling with this onset of emotions, whispering out a thank you before watching the woman grab her own box of pregnancy tests and leaving her alone in the aisle. it took the blonde a few more minutes to gather herself before she made it to the counter to pay for her box of pregnancy tests. once she reached home, she immediately tore through the package to take the tests. positive. they were all positive. all three of them. her body shook with fear and shock as the last test slipped from her grip, clattering onto the bathroom floor. her olive green eyes snapped back to the test on the floor when she heard keys jostling to unlock her home door. it only meant one thing. grey was home. she quickly gathered the tests and the box it came with before disposing them in the garbage can and covering it with random items like tissue paper and bags in her lame attempt to hide it. she stared at her tear stained reflection before turning on the water and splashing her face, wiping any trace of tears from her face. she wiped her face roughly before emerging from the bathroom and making her way towards the front entrance to greet grey. she forced a smile on her face, "h-hey. h-how was u-ummmm work?" she asked, her voice still trembling, but she hoped that he only thought it was because of recent events and not because he knew something was wrong. "i-i umm.... have- haven't started umm cooking d-dinner yet. s-sorry." she mumbled, her gaze dropping to her face. oh god. she was going to be sick. what was she going to tell grey? [STYLE=font-family: georgia; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing:; font-size: 8.5px; padding-bottom: -10px; text-align: center;]Memorizing him was knowing all the words to your old favorite song [/style] |
