take my hand close your eyes, sean

[greyson]

there's a world out there that we should see

if you had asked greyson before she left for the party with sean how she thought her night would've gone, she would've answered with a simple answer. good. at least, that was how it was supposed to go. but that's life for you, throwing curve balls every which way towards you. whether you catch them, let them fly around you, or let them hit you square in the jaw was all a matter of fate. and it just so happened that fate wasn't entirely on greyson's side this evening.

the night had started off as any night outside of her apartment usually started. her nerves were strung tight, and there was no sign of them loosening up anytime soon. she had made sure to stick by sean's side, since he was about the only person at the sprawling estate that she knew. granted, she had seen several of these people before, but she hadn't ever really talked to any of them or gotten herself acquainted. after all, the only time she ever saw them would be during her brief visits on campus. even if she would have known someone else at the party, the odds of her even thinking of leaving him were slim and nill. she felt safe and protected in his presence, and that was a reassuring feeling she hadn't had in a long time. at least not until her brother had lived with her, but ever since he abandoned her, she felt vulnerable and scared. at least without sean around, that's how it felt. but with the older male's companionship.. she felt better. a hell of a lot better. and that was saying a lot, coming from a girl like greyson.

she had been a good little shadow nearly the entire time, keeping her distance so that she wouldn't piss sean off, yet staying close enough so she couldn't lose sight of him in the sea of people. it was when two guys that looked a little younger than sean approached her, and from that point forward, greyson couldn't exactly tell you what had happened. pain. that was the only thing her body could still register as she was bursting through the doors of the victorian home, her feet scrambling to take her to one place, and one place only. granted, she didn't know exactly where that place was. all she knew was that it was far away from that hell hole of a house. far away from those college freshman. far away from sean. far away from what had just happened. far away from everything.

when she finally collected herself, greyson picked herself off the curb in front of the house and began walking. she could've sworn she heard someone calling her name, but she didn't turn back. she just kept walking, shoulders slouched, hair falling in messy curls around her face, and her eyes glued to her feet. for some stupid reason, greyson couldn't swallow the feeling of betrayal. yeah, she hurt. yeah, she was mad and sad at what those boys did. she couldn't believe the first time she went to a party, something so terrible could happen to herself. but above all, a rising anger in the pit of her stomach began churning. anger was something rare in the usually quiet and passive girl, but not this time around. and she couldn't even pinpoint a reason as to why she was so mad at sean. she could hardly remember what happened after the doors of the bedroom closed. she remembered the faces of the men in the room. she remembered that some of them were amused, some of them were angry, and some were distraught. she recalled one voice calling out that they were going to far, but that didn't stop them. of course it didn't. and was anyone there to save her? was the one person she could rely on there to stop them?

no. in fact, the cynic part of greyson could almost believe that sean was behind it all. he was there, after all. or at least she thought he was. she remembered seeing his face, but at the same time, she really couldn't. it was all too confusing and hurt he rbrain to think about it, along with other parts of her body. her face was stinging, her arms had various bruises and scratches on them, and her chest was throbbing. not to mention her feet, which were, at this point in time, nearly raw from scraping against the concrete of the sidewalk. but it wasn't long before she was welcomed by the familiar scent of mulch and the echoing sound of crickets. she plopped herself on the swing and slumped over, bending her knees and curling her feet under the seat while resting her elbows on her thighs. she let out a long sigh before closing her eyes. she tried to erase the images of the night that just unfolded. she tried to forget sean. forget gavin. she even tried to forget that she was even existing right now. but a cold breeze passed by, causing her to shudder and open up her eyes slightly, and the re-realization that she was, indeed, still alive and very much there, came back as a disturbing thought. it probably would've been a good idea to bring her jacket along with her, but when she was rushing out of the house, she hadn't even thought of searching for her shoes, let alone her jacket.

[style=width: 400px; text-transform: lowercase; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic; font-size: 10px;]i'll make this pretty later. anyways.. have a sad greyson. oh and she's wearing this. ♥

[SEAN ORWELL]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][/style][atrb=style, width: 525px; border-bottom: 20px #71200E solid, bTable] I'LL BE SURE TO KEEP MY DISTANCE say i love you when you're not listening [style=height: 317px; width: 250px; margin-right: -520px; font-size: 8.5px; font-family: tahoma; text-align: justify; line-height: .9; text-transform: lowercase; overflow: auto; scrollbar-base-color:#71200E; color: #000;]there had never been an ulterior motive when it came to dealing with greyson, sean had always been upfront with the girl about everything except his disability but that was his own reason. he never wanted to appear weak in front of her, he always wanted to be her hero so the idea to take her to her first party had been leaked into his mind, having this image of dancing with her, showing her the fun side of being a reckless teenager. it was a good thought, one that continued to stay in his mind until he finally got the courage to ask her after some pressuring from his football friends who all knew about sean’s crush. which is why, sean was surprised that they would turn on him as they had, abusing and scarring the one thing in his life that he was actually proud to call his, or almost his. the night had gone well, he had been attentive to the girl, letting her assimilate slowly and well, gracefully. she was doing a fine job but he lost her and that was where his own insecurity came out as he started to ask people if they had seen the brown haired girl. his friends had played dumb, shaking their heads and shrugging, giving him false directions as his worry grew with no knowing the whereabouts of his tutor, no, his date. he did not know where his date had run off to and after many texts to her phone, he had finally heard his buddies talking about the initiation that was to come but sean was not expecting what was to actually come. for him, when he was hazed, he was stripped naked and forced to run around campus and into the girl’s dorm which was not a big thing as many of the girls were not shy and neither was sean. he even got lucky that night with one of the girls in the dorm but that had not caused any physical harm to anyone, this was something different. feeling a pat on his shoulder, sean turned around to be faced with one of the larger males, a forward for the team who had the freshman behind him. ”right now? I’m a little busy looking for someone.”

[/b], but he was ushered into the dark room with nothing but a confused expression. he had no idea what the hazing would be for this evening but he knew it was bad if they were locked in a dark bedroom.

moans could heard and an extreme amount of protest while sean stood there along the wall with the other sophomores who had already been initiated in the previous year. they stood with their arms crossed and he could hear whispering and snickering but sean seemed to the only confused one. he rolled his eyes as he heard the sounds of the rights of the football team being read off, listening to the scared freshman give their allegiance to the males who were proceeding to throw what appeared to be oatmeal at the now stripped down boys. sean gave a nervous chuckle, rubbing at the back of his neck, ”okay guys, that’s enough.”[/b] he said finally stepping forward to proclaim his disinterest in all of this. wait wait orwell, the fun is just starting. these boys finally get to be deflowered, which caused sean to whip around as his hand was just on the door. ’what the fuck are you talking about davis?”[/b] he asked, looking to the meek little naked freshman who appeared to be shaking. suddenly, a light flicked on and sean’s eyes widened at the sight before he shook his head, reaching for davis’ collar and pushing him into the wall with a force that should be reckoned with. ”what the fuck is this!? this isn’t raping hour! untie her, let her go and get the fuck out of here. you guys have had your fun, now it’s done. they agreed to their rights, that’s enough!”[/b] but he was suddenly pulled back by two of his teammates, held against a wall while davis did the “honors” first. thrashing with everything that he had, sean was able to break free once more before a hand wrapped around his throat, ”I’ll fucking kill you!”[/b], he kicked out but got a punch in the stomach for his actions. he closed his eyes, tried to force himself to drown out the noises before two freshman boys got their chance with her, ”you’re all sick fucks. I will personally make sure you eight burn in hell for this”[/b]. the lights were turned back off and greyson had been left blindfolded through the entire thing and though sean could not see, he could hear everything and it tore him apart. the two males that were holding him against the wall kept requesting that he calmed down and saying that it was not going to go that far but sean knew better, he knew davis better and things were going to go that far. all he could do was be pinned to the wall and breathe heavily out of his nose while tears filled his eyes.

it felt like days had passed since they had been in this room but the zippers being pulled up, you can untie her said one of the freshman who scampered away as sean lunged for him, still held down for the time being. the room cleared out and sean was hesitant to make a move. he did not want the blame to be put onto him, and he especially did not want greyson believing that he had anything to do with this. davis had always been a perverted psycho, trailing after girls and when he was elected captain, sean knew that things would be going downhill for the team but he never imagined that their morals would slip that far. creeping over to the bed, he gently loosened the ropes and it seemed that the girl was out of the room before he could even breathe. clenching a fistful of hair, he sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, wiping at his eyes with nothing but hurt and dismay clouding his vision. this night did not turn out the way he wanted, but he had to make sure that she was okay, though he knew she wouldn’t be. he rushed out of the room, not wanting to even be near the scene of the crime and out the door, following her and calling out her name. she hear d him, his voice was too hoarse for her not to but she kept going and sean kept pursing. he wanted to end davis’ life, take the revenge that the girl rightfully deserved but he had to stay calm and patient for the time being and make sure that she was physically okay. but sean could not imagine the scars that the girl would have. he followed her to the park, taking in her dark, but now small silhouette and he was unsure of how to even approach her or this topic. the swing mirrored the child-like behavior that she was exhibiting, shutting herself out of the world and pulling out her imagination but no amount was going to stop this from being true. ”greyson…”[/b] he finally said, his throat burning with the sound of her name and vibration of his voice but he kept, ”i…I didn’t…he…fuck…”[/b] he grumbled, rushing his hand up to rub at the back of his neck, he reached for her with a free hand and then stopped, pulling back and staring at the ground. ”..i tried..i never thought…I mean..that wasn’t hazing…that was …not what was supposed to happen. I couldn’t…I tried to fight..”[/b], he shook his head, trying to give her an explanation that would be solid enough to explain what happened, and why it happened. he stepped over to the front of the swing, bending down to rest on his haunches, ”please..greyson..look at me..please..”[/b] he begged, his own voice cracking as the image of her lying there burned into his mind, more so than the scars that were etched across his back.[/div][/center]

[/td][/tr][/table][/center]

THIS POST IS THE FANGIRL BUT LOVING CAT WITH HER CHARACTER, GREYSON

[/COLOR]. THIS POST TURNED OUT TO BE 1360[/B] WORDS, WHICH IS BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE A LIMIT. MUSE METER IS FULL[/B] AND SEAN IS WEARING THIS[/URL][/COLOR]. ANYTHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THIS POST IS HOLY SHIT HE'S CRYING.[/B][/div][/center]

[greyson]

there's a world out there that we should see

greyson hadn't realized she was being followed. she was too developed in her own thoughts to even think that being followed from the party to the playground was a possibility, but it was. maybe that's why something like this would happen to her. greyson was always told that getting raped at a party was just a tall tale that parents told their kids to make them terrified to go out. she was told that if you were smart, nothing bad would happen to you. now she knew who was really lying and who was really telling the truth whenever her and her friends would get on the conversation of parties. they were nothing but trouble, and only bad things happened at them. it was times like these that she wished gavin had never abandoned her. she would be so much safer right now if she were back in her apartment with her older brother and reading a book, snuggled in her bed or couch somewhere. but now, here she was, with the man who she used to feel the most protected by crouched in front of her, and he couldn't even offer that anymore. maybe she was being a bit harsh to blame this on him. but she wasn't sure. gracie had absolutely no idea what just happened, except that her whole body hurt, and she felt like she had a piece of herself ripped away from her body. it was that kind of bone chilling, stomach curdling, heart throbbing pain that she just couldn't shake off, no matter how many different topics she flew through in her mind.

for a moment, everything in the world stopped, and she averted her eyes from her lap to stare over at sean. was he.. crying? she opened her mouth to say something, but quickly dulled the words out before a sound could be heard. no. this wasn't right. this wasn't right at all. sean had been her totem pole. he was always so strong and fearless on the outside, he wasn't allowed to cry. greyson was the weak one out of the two of them, so it was okay for her to throw herself on the ground and give up kicking and screaming, but this wasn't what it was supposed to be like where sean was concerned. he wasn't supposed to be like this. greyson didn't want him to be like this. and for what, exactly? because he felt bad for some little prank that his friends had pulled that he might or might not have had a role in? the thought made gracie's stomach lurch forward, and she quickly bowed her head down, her eyes fixed on her knees.

"s-s-sean.." she finally managed to stutter out. when she heard herself speak, she didn't recognize her voice at all. it was dry and hoarse and had a certain depth to it. it sounded mournful, and even gave greyson the shakes - although, to be completely honest, she wasn't sure if that was the effect of her voice or the effect of the cold chills that were running down her arms. while lifting her head up and reaching a hand up to brush a piece of her hair past her cheekbones, she attempted speaking again, "sean.." but it didn't quite come out as she had hoped. she cleared her throat and wiped away at her eyes with the back of her hand before her hands fell back down onto her lap. she stayed silent for a long moment, hiccuping and sniffling every once in a while. she finally swallowed her nerves down long enough to reach for one of his hands and set it on one of her legs, both her hands grasping at it for dear life. she felt the resevoirs in her eyes begin to break again, and she quickly shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. when she opened her eyes again, she made sure they were firmly planted on sean's eyes before she tried to stop the shuddering that had been wracking the girl's body ever since she stepped outside. or rather, ever since she had stopped moving, which would be when she propped herself on one of the swings in the swing set.

"i don't really want to talk about it," she lied, swallowing hard. she still held his onto his hand tightly, as if letting go would mean she'd fall into some dark pit that went on endlessly. but then she felt it - that familiar sensation that she hadn't felt in a long time. she wished she could stop it, she really did. but word vomit was about as unstoppable as, well... literal vomit.

"i mean i want to talk about it but there really isn't much to talk about. i mean.. you were there, sean. and i was there. and they did very bad things, and i just.. i want to go home. i want gavin. do you think they still have my shoes and coat? maybe i should go back and get them... i mean, it's not that far of a walk..." greyson clamped her mouth shut and let go of sean's hands so that she could wrap her arms around herself. she inched as far away from him as she could while still remaining on the seat of the swing, but the moment she had done that, she regretted it. she didn't want to be away from sean. in fact, she wanted nothing but to curl up next to him and sleep for the rest of her life and pretend that none of this had happened.

"can we just... please pretend this didn't happen?" she croaked while sucking in a sharp breath and releasing it. honestly, she didn't know if she wanted to scream about it or just pretend like it hadn't happened at all, just like she didn't know if she wanted to forgive sean or hate his guts quite yet.

[style=width: 400px; text-transform: lowercase; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic; font-size: 10px;]i'll make this pretty later. anyways.. have a sad greyson. oh and she's wearing this. ♥

[SEAN ORWELL]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,10,true][/style][atrb=style, width: 525px; border-bottom: 20px #71200E solid, bTable] I'LL BE SURE TO KEEP MY DISTANCE say i love you when you're not listening [style=height: 317px; width: 250px; margin-right: -520px; font-size: 8.5px; font-family: tahoma; text-align: justify; line-height: .9; text-transform: lowercase; overflow: auto; scrollbar-base-color:#71200E; color: #000;]his hands were visible shaking as they rushed through his hair, pulling at the ends in an excuse to cause pain to himself. a car rushing down the street would be a g-d send at that moment because all sean felt was numb, he had no idea how he was going to make this up to her, or even how to explain it. things had never gotten that out of hand in that kind of many, or any variety of that kind of manner. he called out to her as her form was rushing away from him in a haste to get out away from the memories but sean knew all too well about running and things just caught up that much faster. nothing was going to ease the pain or even make it disappear but the girl deserved an apology and even if it was not going to be in a verbal form, greyson would know how sorry he was for everything. bringing her to the party was a mistake but losing her, getting lost in conversations, brushing her off was his downfall and that was the majority of the guilt that was sitting on his shoulders. would she have been targeted had he kept his arm around her the whole time? he liked to think not because of his anger, because of the power that he had over his teammates but it seemed that loyalty faltered in some cases due to his pleas going ignored while he begged for greyson to be released. his strides were long, he could see his breath with each exhale, shaking his head to the cold air that circulated around his numb body—and that was not due to the cold. he opened his mouth to say anything more but nothing but a sob escaped his throat, burning his vocal chords from the force that he tried to keep it in. he had vowed to watch over her, a silent one that he had made to himself, let the first party be a memorable one but at least a piece of his promise was kept because he was sure that greyson would never forget this. his name came out in stutters but it was still there, she still recognized him and did not push him away entirely. his head perked up, his body kneeling on the ground at her feet as though he was a peasant begging his queen for forgiveness. the thought alone caused his mind to chuckle with the irony of the king of the football field bowing to his tutor, someone who had helped him with his academic trouble and now he was going to help her with her emotional trauma. his name passed through her lips and he finally looked up, his eyes meeting hers but there was a difference, he was crying. tracks of tears rushed down his cheeks and he shook his head and looked away regardless of how much he wanted to look up at her, staring at the ground in shame for his reactions, for his friend’s actions. ”shit..”

[/b] he muttered, reaching up to wipe at his now stuffed up nose, plunging the palm of his hands into his eyes to stop the leaking, ”please please..don’t…don’t hate me greyson..i’m sorry..i’m so sorry..”[/b] he muttered, the punch to the gut finally giving him trouble as he repositioned himself on his haunches, his head not lifting up to face her yet. his eyes caught the flash of movement and he made the bold move to place a hand over her own, pushing himself to rest on his knees infront of her, surrendering everything he was just to comfort her, ”..you…you don’t?”[/b] he asked, slightly shocked and the other side being pleased as it was not a topic that he wanted to discuss but he knew that it had to. ”…you can’t…bottle it up, it will kill you…I know…please just talk to me.”[/b] he begged, his tone turning into a childish one, begging for something that he could not necessarily have.

his hand grasped hers when she allowed him too, lacing their fingers together and playing with her digits for a moment while he became lost in the reserves of his own mind, stuck in a corner for a split second before he shook his head. ”greyson..you have to..just..a second, it will help..or a professional, ….”[/b], his eyes widened as he shook his head, ”a doctor..you have to go to the doctor..the hospital, now…I need to call…”[/b] he said with a frantic tone, his hand reaching for his cellphone but her voice stopping his movements. he knew that medical attention was needed as at this ankle, he could see the dried red blotches between her leg, the bruises from the rope were visible around her wrist and fingerprint shaped bruises dotted her skin and those were just the visible marks. his other hand moved, tracing the indents where the rope had been tied, ”I’ll kill them..”[/b] he muttered, knowing that jail was an option for him as it had always been. sean had never been a good kid, he had his run ins with the law and he had no problem in going if his tutor. the girl that he cherished, was avenged. ”they did worse than bad things greyson..what they did was sick, only a freak, a psycho would think like that…and laugh about it. they were fucking laughing and joking! that’s not a normal thing..that’s not an okay thing..”[/b], his jaw clenched but he was careful to keep any grip on her light, their fingers still laced together as he shook his head, ”you need to tell the police or the hospital, you need to get looked at greyson..”[/b] he sighed, slowly rising to his feet and using his free hand to wipe at the tears.

he physically flinched as the physical contact was lost, greyson enveloping herself into a hug in order to keep her thoughts to a minimum. he could see the goosebumps on her skin, he could feel the pulse quicken when he was tracing the lines of the rope, he knew that she was scared and that she was going to be scarred but, this was not something that was considered okay, it needed to be known by authorities and if greyson wasn’t going to do it, then sean would. ”I’ll have sam find your coat..”[/b], the owner of the house, ”and…wash it and stuff and then give it back to you greyson but…I think I should just take you home…can you walk?..”[/b] he asked hesistantly, looking at her legs for a moment and then looking away. she ran here, walking briskly but the moment had not fully hit her yet and that was what scared sean most. what would her full reaction be in the end? sighing, he reached his hand out for her to take, careful in not touching her skin without her permission but his red, puffed eyes bored into hers, sighing softly, ”..for tonight we can..”[/b] he muttered, hating the idea but knowing that it would help, or maybe that was just wishful thinking on sean’s end.
[/div][/center]

[/td][/tr][/table][/center]

THIS POST IS THE FANGIRL BUT LOVING CAT WITH HER CHARACTER, GREYSON

[/COLOR]. THIS POST TURNED OUT TO BE 1202[/B] WORDS, WHICH IS BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE A LIMIT. MUSE METER IS FULL[/B] AND SEAN IS WEARING THIS[/URL][/COLOR]. ANYTHING TO BE SAID ABOUT THIS POST IS THEY ARE HEART BREAKING SOMETIMES.[/B][/div][/center]

[greyson]

there's a world out there that we should see

at this point in time, she couldn't afford to think like she was thinking. it was just in her nature to push and push and push until the problem seemed to go away, and that was exactly what she had to do right now. it was her only defense mechanism. in all honesty, all greyson was was a one hundred something pound sack of bones, and she definitely couldn't take care of herself, not like other people could. she was, in layman's terms, defenseless. she had always been that way throughout her life, and it seemed that it wouldn't be changing anytime soon, especially with something as big as what happened tonight throwing her off course. but it was all okay if she wrapped herself back in her shell for the rest of her life, because she always had someone looking out for her. for the better part of her life, it was always gavin. he was, after all, her big brother; the role of her protector was something that he took over the moment little gracie was born. but for the past six or so months, she hadn't had gavin. there was person she did have, though - and it was sean. gracie was more thankful than what she ever thought she could be that she wound up getting assigned to being his tutor what seemed to be so very long ago. granted, if she had told the librarian that she didn't want to tutor someone as old as him and she had never met him, she wouldn't be in this situation right now, would she? she wouldn't have gotten touched by those boys, and she definitely wouldn't be in the park right now, freezing her butt off. but then she had to take into account of all of the good things that came out of their tutoring sessions, despite the obvious - he was getting better at school, all thanks to gracie (even though she took bad for taking the credit for it all). he was still able to play football, and she at least hoped that dean wasn't being so hard on him since he was bringing better grades home. that was all good, right? it was worth the absolute misery she was feeling at the moment. greyson supposed that at least made her feel somewhat better, but that still didn't stop her shivering body or her racing heart.

"no, sean.. i.. i can't go to the hospital. i mean.. no one can know! it's just... it's just our secret.." she whimpered out, her eyes widening considerably when he mentioned taking her to go get looked at by a doctor. she was trying hard to keep her composure, but the reservoirs of her eyes, which she were trying hard to maintain, were nearly at their breaking point. "please?" she mumbled, stealing a quick glance from him before her head drooped once more and she looked at her hands. she cringed and pulled herself back as much as possibly when sean traced the rope burns that were left on her. she shook her head quickly and whimpered slightly. "no, don't, sean.." she pleaded, but she lost her own voice right then and there. some odd emotion was swelling in greyson's heart. she wanted those boys to pay for what they had done to her, which was completely uncharacteristic for the timid, quiet girl. she didn't wish harm on anyone mainly because she never wanted them to wish harm onto her. that's how it went, right? as far as karma went? don't wish anything on anyone you wouldn't want them to wish onto you. maybe she was naive, maybe even stupid for thinking that, but at this point, she was thankful her brain was still functioning with the amount of stuff running through it.

she finally looked up at sean, sniffling, and said, "i just want to forget that this never happened. this night didn't happen. or this is just a really really bad dream. what about rhian and dean? i don't want you to get in trouble for staying out too late, i mean.." she bit her tongue to force herself to shut up and contented herself with just staring up at sean apologetically for the longest time, or at least until he spoke again.

when he asked if she could walk and reached his hand out to her, her entire body froze, and she stared at his hand with big, wide blue eyes. could she? did she even know how to function anymore? gracie could feel her body slowly shut down. first it was the feeling in her toes, then her feet, then her fingers, hands, and soon her entire body altogether. she shook her head slowly and tugged on her lower lip with her teeth. "i.. i think i just wanna.. stay.. here.." she uttered out, even though it was a complete lie. she was freezing, she was tired, she was aching all over, and she wanted nothing more than the comfort of her warm bed back home, and right about now would be a stupidly inconvenient time for greyson to refuse to do herself good for once, but that's what she was. that's what her whole life had been. some stupid inconvenience.

"you go home.. i'll.. uh.. i'll get home, okay? just.. don't get in trouble with your brother.." she begged softly, forcing out a dry smile. she chuckled softly and looked back up at him, "shouldn't you at least listen to me, since i'm your tutor and everything..?", even though right about now was the worst time to be joking about anything. she was trying to pretend like this was a normal night and they weren't just at a party and forced to do things neither of them wanted to do.

[style=width: 400px; text-transform: lowercase; font-family: georgia; font-style: italic; font-size: 10px;]i'll make this pretty later. anyways.. have a sad greyson. oh and she's wearing this. ♥